Batman: Defender of Gotham, Year Five
by Gimili101
Summary: AU. Sequel to my original fic, Batman: Defender of Gotham. Since that original took place two years into Batman's career, this is year five, not year three.
1. Cold Vengeance

Note: as always with these stories, I want to remind you that I've made Catwoman black in them. A liberty, I know, but a couple of portrayals of Catwomen in media adaptations of her have done this so at least there's precedence for this.

**Victor Fries' perspective:**

The man better known as Mr. Freeze was more than a year into his eighteen-year prison sentence. Unlike most archcriminals of Gotham City, Victor Fries was _not _insane. He was perfectly capable of not causing any trouble in Blackgate Prison. But that was not to say that he did nothing but eat and sleep. While the other prisoners waited for the evening when the rec room became available, Victor spent those hours working in the crime lab. The authorities had enough sympathy for his motives to move his cryogenically frozen wife, Nora there.

Then finally, the day came that Victor was nearing a cure. He was finishing the work on his notepad in his cell when a guard painstakingly reached into the cold beam that kept Victor's temperature at the fifty below he needed to survive. Taking the notepad, the guard asked, "Still workin' on your woman, huh?"

"Give that back," Victor demanded furiously.

"When I'm good and ready," said the guard.

Victor tried to charge at the guard, but collapsed as he was sure he felt intense heat. It was actually rather cool, but not nearly cool enough.

"That was really stupid," said the guard. "You sure you were a scientist?" Victor had no choice but to crawl into the beam.

"I have caused no trouble since I came," said Victor. "If you don't give that back right now..."

"Relax," said the guard. "I ain't no thief. I just wanna look at it. Good thing, too. Some of these calculations are ass-backwards."

"As if you could possibly understand them, high school dropout," frowned Victor.

"For your information," insisted the guard, "I'm only in this place 'cause brothers can't afford to go to college. But believe it or not, I understand all of this shit. You still ain't ready."

"Thank you very much for your 'help,'" Victor said almost sarcastically, "But I want my notepad back. Hand it over for your job and ability to finance your education."

"Don't come cryin' ta me when you lose your woman for good," he warned. Victor snorted. He was loaded into a portable cold chamber and transferred into the crime lab where he was ready to finish his project.

Lab workers removed the frozen body of Nora Fries, wife of Victor, from the capsule that kept her frozen and placed her on a mattress. Victor hooked an IV and power conduit into Nora's body. These would inject mixes of energy and medicine into her body. The energy to kick-start it; the medicine to cure it.

"We will be together very soon," Victor smiled with joy as he flipped the switches.

The body was thawing. Soon enough, Nora's eyes opened. "Victor," she smiled, "I think I'm getting better."

It had been years since Victor had felt this happy. He took Nora's hand in his own. "I told you I wouldn't let you die," said Victor.

And then, without warning, an unexpectedly harder jolt from the power conduit broke Nora apart in several places! For Victor, the world seemed to stand still. He fell to his knees and cried. He had failed to save his wife for a second time. What was worse, he had been warned that his calculations were flawed. But he was not the only one responsible. He had to work on his own with limited resources because the cold-blooded bureaucrats of Gotham City underfunded his research. They had let Nora down before Victor, so they should have died before him.

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

"What's atop, Pops?" asked Robin from behind Commissioner James Gordon. He turned to see Batman, Batgirl, and Robin.

"That's Commissioner Pops to you," Gordon smiled at Robin. _He didn't used to be this gung-ho. And I could've sworn he was taller. Strange._

"Like he said," asked Batman, "What did youcall us for?"

"Mr. Freeze has escaped," said Gordon. "He failed in his attempt to cure his wife tonight. Within an hour, he'd fashioned a special cold collar that kept him alive long enough for him to break into the inmates' property lockers and get his suit. Because it makes him stronger, escaping wasn't hard after that."

Batman and Robin seemed unfamiliar with all this. Batgirl didn't. "We're on it," she said. "We'll take him down just like before."

**Batman's perspective:**

As the Batfamily were about to enter their vehicles, Batman told Batgirl, "You seem to know this Freeze character. How? I have barely heard of him, and I can tell that Robin knows even less of him."

"Remember that time you left town over a year ago. I think you were seen in Africa fighting that... Lash guy?"

"Ra's al Ghul," Batman corrected.

Snapping her fingers, Batgirl said, "That's right. Dick and I took care of Freeze back here in Gotham. He's a scientist. But an accident left him unable to survive in warmer weather than fifty below zero. He's got a suit that keeps him super-cool _and _he's got a gun that freezes people. I know, why can't we ever get anyone easy?"

"You want easy," said the always-obnoxious Robin, "Go play _World of Warcraft_. I think it's got a beginner's..."

"That is uncalled for," interrupted Batman. "Go on, Batgirl."

"He went after John Linseed," explained Batgirl.

"The Mayor himself?" asked Batman, who realized that Freeze must have thought big.

Nodding, Batgirl continued, "His wife is terminally ill. Freeze cryogenically froze her but didn't have the resources to cure her quickly enough

after Linseed cut funding. Freeze tried to force him to pony up. We stopped him."

"And I thought Poison Ivy's motives were understandable," said Robin.

"Understable, yes," acknowledged Batman. "Justifiable, no. Adding to injustice cannot be the answer." He read over the papers that the Commissioner had given them. "Sounds like he failed in his last attempt to save his wife. She's dead now."

"Can't be a coincidence," said Robin.

"You think he's plotting to kill Linseed?" asked Batgirl.

"You don't?" asked Robin.

"Agreed," said Batman. "We should keep watch over him. I think it's time Bruce Wayne took a vacation."

"And I think Barbara Gordon's having her period and Jason Todd just caught neumonia," grinned Batgirl.

"School is too important for Jason," said Batman. "He just flunked a test. He has to get back on track, no matter what. No buts, Robin."

But it hardly mattered. After spending most of the next day watching Linseed, Batman checked his Battablet at sundown to see that Freeze had apparently robbed a bank. "We goofed," Batman kicked the protruding edge of the rooftop he and Batgirl were watching Linseed from. "Freeze just robbed millions from a bank."

"Oops," said Batgirl.

"Oops is right," Batman agreed. "He's probably up to worse than a mere political assassination, and we missed our chance to guarantee that he doesn't carry it out."

**Veronica Vreeland's perspective:**

A few days later, Veronica Vreeland was leaving her workplace and lamenting that business at Gothic Report had been off for some time. Other than that bad girl team-up between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy months before, nothing big but the tired old story of a costumed criminal robbing places happened. She believed the Traylor Family had taken over the mobs, but without the scoop, there wasn't anything Veronica could do about it but fire some reporters.

Suddenly, Veronica saw through her rear view mirror that two men lyaing in wait in the backsea floorboards were rising and pointing guns at her. "Alright," she said. "How much are you sticking me up for?"

"Not money," said one of them "Mr. Freeze is gonna destroy your city if the government doesn't give him what he wants."

Veronica smiled. This was the big event she wanted. It didn't matter that this was probably an empty threat. Whether people believed it or not, they would pay attention. "Thank you," Veronica whispered to God.

**Bruce's perspective:**

Bruce was still officially on vacation, so he had to play golf. At least unlike the one weekend of the month that he played, no other tycoons were out of work, so Bruce didn't have to pretend to enjoy himself. Had be mindful of reporters who expected to see him having fun, though.

As he went home, Bruce checked his phone for news. It seemed that Mr. Freeze had apparently constucted a fortress on a small island on the Atlantic Ocean a good distance from the East Coast. Newswoman Veronica Vreeland had been kidnapped by Freeze and recollected her experience as follows: "I was released after an unpleasant conversation with the notorious terrorist and consider myself lucky to have escaped with my life. He told me to tell Gothamites this."

In the video on Gothic Report's web site in which Veronica had explained all this, she showed viewers a large tablet personally recorded by Freeze. "Tragedy is inevitable," said the grim recording of Freeze. "How much tragedy depends on your elected officials. Because their cold-hearted cheapskatedness helped to rob me of my true love, your fate is in their hands. Mayor Linseed and every member of Gotham's City Council must agree to release all their spouses and children into my custody. I promise to return the frozen heads of all of them. I'll wait exactly three days for a response. If none occurs after that, I will freeze your entire city solid! And if you doubt that I am capable of this, I do believe that a naval battleship is on its way. It should prove that I am not bluffing."

Mr. Freeze meant business. The Batfamily needed all the help it could get. "Dick," Bruce called on his phone to Bludhaven.

"Bruce," said Dick Grayson cheerfully. "It's been too long."

"Agreed," said Bruce. "I understand Nightwing's had some success in Bludhaven."

"He sure has," said Dick. They had to be careful not to say anything to blow their cover. Phone spies, some of which were feds, might be listening in.

"I could use some help," said Bruce.

"I heard," acknowledged Dick. "I'm coming."

Upon arriving at Wayne Manor, Bruce saw Barbara, Jason, and Alfred watching coverage of the battleship inching towards Freeze's island on the TV set in the den.

"Sacrifice hundreds of people or he'll kill millions?" asked Barbara. "He has gone too far!"

"Correct me if I'm wrong," said Jason, "But didn't the blue guy cause his wife's death by screwing up trying to cure his wife?"

"People like that who feel like they've lost everything," explained Bruce, "Can become so wrecked by grief that they lose all sense of reality, right, and wrong. Despite his ultimatum, Freeze may have convinced himself that all Gothamites are responsible."

"You could have responded to your parents' murders like that as well," noted Alfred. "You didn't. Thank God for that!"

"You taught me right," complimented Bruce.

"And I could be a supervillain in training who'll destroy the world one day if I hadn't been taught better," joked Jason. "But actually, I think you're worried about nothing."

"Oh?" asked Bruce.

"A bunch of thugs against a battleship?" asked Jason. "I don't think they need our help this time."

Bruce had hoped Jason was right, but thirty-seven minutes later, the glass dome at the top of the fortress fired a laser that froze the cannons solid! The lasers apparently built within the glass began working on the hull of the ship. Not having time to prepare their lifeboats, sailors that hadn't already been frozen began diving for the sea.

"Oops," Jason said nervously.

Before anyone else in the manor could say anything, Freeze spoke on a loudspeaker that could be heard on the televised broadcast: "Now you see. I will allow rescue ships to search for survivors within twenty miles of my island. If they value their lives, no sailor will swim within that radius. American and Canadian soil are there for them. As for Gothamites, you have three days. Let this rapidly freezing ship be a preview of your fate if the familes of the Mayor and City Councilpeople are not delivered by then."

A moment of silence in Wayne Manor was finally broken when Bruce lamented, "Freeze has proven that he can carry out his threats."

"What's the plan?" asked Dick.

"First things first," said Bruce. "Freeze has given us three days. Stopping him can wait. Innocent sailors can't. Barbara, you let them into the Batsub. Dick, you and I are in the Batjet."

**Mr. Freeze's perspective:**

"Boss," said Freddie, one of Freeze's men. "We've got a Bat infestation." Freddie moved aside from the telescope so Freeze could look through it.

"Hold your fire," said Freeze. "I promised that rescue ships could search for survivors, didn't I?"

"If we can take them out now," argued Freddie, "Why not?"

"Because they have no way of crossing the ocean to us unseen," pointed out Freeze. "And that will be it. Besides, they are innocent in this, as are the sailors. Only the politicians need suffer."

_Wherever you are, beloved Nora, you will not go unavenged. I swear on my life!_

**Dick Grayson's perspective:**

The following morning, Dick had nearly reached Wayne Manor. _Weird. I lived there for less than two years yet it feels like a homecoming. Ask and you shall receive, Bruce!_

But as this wasn't his home anymore, Dick still knocked on the door. Bruce shook his hand. "Good to see you again, Dick," he said.

"Welcome back, Master Dick," Alfred shook his hand as well. "This place hasn't been the same without you."

Instead of shaking his hand, Barbara immediately hugged and kissed him. "I didn't expect that," smiled Dick.

"You shouldn't expect anything when it comes to me," said Barbara.

"Adults," said Jason.

"And you are..." asked Dick.

"The new Robin," said Jason.

"Figures," said Dick. "Let's test your reflexes." He kicked three times and punched twice at Jason. Every blow was blocked. "Not bad, kid."

"Now that all that's over with," said Bruce, "It's time to take down Freeze. Nightwing is with Batman." Nightwing was the secret identity Dick had adopted in Bludhaven. He had packed the black and blue costume in a duffle bag.

"They will attack by air," strategized Bruce.

"I dunno," said a skeptical Barbara. "That laser dome of his froze a Naval battleship."

"Battleships are slow," said Bruce. "The Batjet is not. Plus, I have equipment that will tell me if we're being targeted. Barbara, you and Jason have the Batsub. But be careful; Freeze must have anticipated that the military might attack by sea and installed underwater missiles or mines."

"So keep an eye on the Batnavicomputer, Jason," said Barbara. "You see anything that might be a bomb, call it out."

"Sure," said Jason.

"Don't you 'sure' me," said Barbara, tugging on Jason's left ear. Seeing that he had gotten the picture, Barbara pecked Dick on the cheek. "For luck."

"Guess it's gonna be a long night for the two of us - and I'm not talking about the mission," Dick grinning lovingly.

"Are you kidding?" asked Barbara, returning Dick's grin with her own. "It's morning. By sundown, you'll be back in Bludhaven."

"Enough," said Bruce. "Before your romp can begin, we have to save Gotham. She needs us like never before."

**Batman's perspective:**

"So," Nightwing asked early on in the flight to Mr. Freeze's island, "Where'd you pick up that kid?"

"His father was one of Two-Face's goons," explained Batman uneasily. He knew that that fact might have offended Nightwing, since he lost his place in the Batcave because of all the mistakes he made. "I took Jason in after that father was killed by Two-Face."

"Well, he better be good with that resume," said Dick. Batman had fully expected a response like that. "Pity his dad didn't realize that those kinds of shortcuts never work."

"Agreed," said Batman.

Once the Batjet began crossing the Atlantic Ocean, Batman began evasive maneuvers. He easily dodged three laser blasts. "Guess it's not the size of the gun that counts," epitaphed Nightwing.

But within a few seconds, Batman was pounding the steering wheel as the Batnavicomputer showed that something had locked onto the Batjet. "Me and my big mouth," said a suddenly nervous Nightwing.

"The Batjet's about to be frozen," said Batman. "We can't be inside when it is. Get a parachute." He opened a compartment between both floorboards containing parachute packs and and oxygen masks. Both Batman and Nightwing put one of each on.

"He's probably got underwater weapons," said Batman. "We have to float towards Gotham. And hope we're to small to be noticed in the dark."

"Then we'll be giving up Freeze."

"What choice do we have?" asked Batman as he opened the cockpit. He and Night jumped off and opened their parachutes. Seconds later, another laser blast froze the Batjet, and it coasted past the island and for a long way before falling into the Atlantic Ocean.

"Throw down all electronic equipment," shouted Batman. "He probably won't be able to lock onto us. It'll be a shot in the dark."

"No pun intended," realized Nightwing as he reached into his belt to dispose of anything electronic. "Think Batgirl and Robin can stop Freeze."

"They have to," said Batman.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

The Batsub was weaving through mines on the way to Freeze's island. "They don't get too far apart," noted Robin as he looked on the Batnavicomputer. "This is a piece of cake!"

"That's just it," said Batgirl. "It's too easy. When Nightwing and I took him out, it was hard to do. He even kidnapped us. Took some heroic and foolish acts of Nightwing like the great guy he is for us to..."

"Why are they disappearing up ahead?" asked Robin.

"I knew it," realized Batgirl. "Get out a rebreather and prepare for ejection."

"But we'll..." began Robin.

"No buts," said Batgirl. "This is life or death! Stay underwater until you're close to shore." She looked at the Batnavicomuter. Once it looked safe to eject, she did so.

Batgirl and Robin cleared the exploding minefield safely. Only problem was that they lost their ride. Without it, they didn't dare brave anything else Freeze planned on welcoming them with.

**Mr. Freeze's perspective:**

"Their rides are destroyed," said Freddie. "Don't know if they're dead,"

"If they're not," said Freeze, "I don't think they will try again. Now they know that we're on a mission. We won't be denied."

"I'd have done 'em," said Freddie wistfully. "For the bragging rights."

"I care nothing about such things," said Freeze. "I want revenge. No more. No less."

**Batman's perspective:**

Upon landing on the beach, Batman and Nightwing waited for Batgirl and Robin. Eventually, the two emerged out of the water, tired, and swam to shore as well.

"Did you do it?" asked Nightwing. Batman didn't need to see Batgirl and Robin shake their heads to know the answer.

"So," asked Robin. "What are we gonna do now?"

"Working on it," said Batman.

"We Southerners do appreciate work," Batman heard a Southern voice call.

The four costumed heroes turned in the direction of the voice. It was the deceptively muscularly two hundred pound Becky "The Hog" Traylor, her older brother Al, and The Hog's nephew, Joey, and their new accomplice, Catwoman. This was the crime family that now ran the Gotham underworld.

"What do you want?" asked Batman.

"First of all," said The Hog, "Take off that breathin' mask. Your face is too handsome to be completely hidden. Second, relax. We're here to help."

"That'll be the day," said Batgirl.

"Didn't we work together to bring down the mobs?" asked Joey.

"You extorted us," said Batgirl.

"Because you're such suckers," laughed Catwoman. "But in Batman's case, a cute sucker."

"What about the time we helped you find that Ra's pissant?" asked Al. "Or when Batman and my sister talked Two-Face into givin' up?"

"You remember that, don't you, young man?" asked The Hog, pointing at Nightwing. "Yeah, Ah recognize you. Robin, right? All grown up."

"You still haven't given us any reason to trust you," argued the new Robin.

"For starters," asked Batman, "Why would you lift a finger to help us?"

"Because Freeze wants to take out this city," said The Hog, "Includin' our business. So we're willin' to help." She walked up to Batman and smiled.

"I don't think so," said Batman.

"Well, Ah know so," said The Hog. "Your rides're gone and you only got two days to think up a way into a place as heavily armed as an Army base."

"Forget it," refused Batman.

"You'll be back," assured The Hog with a grin. The Traylors and Catwoman left.

"A lot of things have changed in this town," realized Nightwing. "Have I been gone that long?"

Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl, and Robin spent the next day trying to think up a Plan B. The fateful third day came when Batman finally said, "We can't do this by ourselves."

"Batman, no," said Batgirl. "We can't be in position for the country gangsters to demand something of us later."

"We have no choice," said Batman.

"She could have nothing for us," said Robin.

"Then we're screwed," said Nightwing.

"Never give up hope," said Batman. But in his heart, he had a feeling that this was their last chance.

**Catwoman's perspective:**

The next morning, Catwoman was waiting for Councilman John Taibstein on his desk. She really didn't like what she was doing. This was a potential prelude to murder that she was going to be involved in. Murder was one thing she wanted very much to avoid except as a last resort. Alas, that last resort had come. The Hog held Catwoman's life and that of her best friend, Sabisia Williams, in the balance.

Councilman Taibstein finally arrived. "Hi, Councilman," said Catwoman. "You're even cuter in person."

Taibstein drew his phone and called a saved phone number. Catwoman smiled at Taibstein's expression of fear and frustration. "Not now," said Taibstein. _Little does he know..._ Taibstein seemed to call again and again, not getting anyone.

"Security's not answering, huh?" chuckled Catwoman as she lounged on Taibstein's desk. "Their superiors have ordered them to take no calls from Councilmen. Their real superiors. And Batman wonders why I work against this whack-ass system."

"What do you want from me?" asked Taibstein.

"It's time for you politicians to do what you do best," said Catwoman. "Be part of the problem and not the solution. My partners have nineteen of you thirty Councilmen in their pockets, whether it's because of deals or blackmail. We're working on the rest of you. You have to agree to risk your family in a plot to stop Mr. Freeze."

"What if I won't take that chance?" asked Taibstein.

"I can't be sure," Catwoman wasn't taking the chances of any unnecessary charges against her should be caught, "But I think something tragic will happen. And our pussy of a Mayor will get to pick a more 'reasonable' interim Councilman in a hurry."

"Why do you need to risk my family?" ask Taibstein.

"Because we need to make it _look _like you're giving in to him," explained Catwoman.

"I see," said Taibstein.

**The Hog's perspective:**

The Hog entered her office late that afternoon to see Batman standing there. "Ah told you you'd come crawlin' back to me," said The Hog.

"Let's get one thing straight," said Batman. "This is about Gotham. I've absolutely no intention of anything else between us coming of this."

"Oh, Ah know," said a disappointed Hog. "Linseed and the City Council are ready to give in to Freeze's demands."

"You're joking," said an appalled Batman. He rarely showed much in the way of emotion. This look of horror and disgust on his face made him even more attractive to The Hog.

"Yeah,," she explained. " It is a joke. We're gonna send a boatful of relatives of politicians to Freeze's island. Your Bat-posse'll be hidin' inside. Catwoman too."

"What if I don't accept?" asked Batman.

The Hog smiled and touched Batman's chest. "You wouldn't be here if you had much of a choice. By the way, Ah notice you've been trainin' extra hard. We Southern girls love work ethic in a man."

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman, Nightwing, Catwoman, Batgirl, and Robin were in a hidden compartment of the boat in which Mr. Freeze's human demands were speeding towards the island.

"This is wrong," said Batgirl.

"Why didn't you say that before?" asked Robin.

"I _did _say that before," said Batgirl. "We can't accept the help of the Traylors."

"She's right, you know," said Catwoman.

"Would you know from experience?" asked Batman.

"None of yours," said Catwoman in a threatening tone.

"If even Catwoman agrees that we shouldn't do this?" asked Nightwing, "Why _are_ we doing this?"

"Because," Batman said grimly, "Freeze is going to turn the entire city into a glacier. It doesn't get worse than that."

No one could argue with that.

**Mr. Freeze's perspective:**

"Boss," said Freddie, "The families of Linseed and the Councilmen are on their way."

"Excellent," said Freeze. "Bring them before me, one at a time." Freddie left.

Freeze looked at a large portrait of his late wife, Nora, on the wall. "Revenge draws near, my love."

**Batman's perspective:**

The five were walking towards the fortress. "For a scientist," said Nightwing, "You'd think Freeze would know about the concept of security."

"He knew anyone who attacked him would have to cross air or sea as far as the eye could see, probably more," figured Batman. "That made him cocky."

"I love to bust cocky skulls," said Robin.

"We won't get a chance if you white folks don't learn more about being sneaky," whispered an annoyed Catwoman. Those were the last words any of them used before reaching the fortress.

"No windows," noted Batgirl.

"Probably didn't need any," guessed Batman. "He probably has the place strategically computerized."

They broke through the locked door to discover four men with freezing guns. "It just got real," said an eager Nightwing.

The men fired their guns. Because these guns projected constant beams, Robin and Batgirl's legs were encased in ice. "You're frozen," quipped one of Freeze's goons.

"Lame," shivered Robin.

Batman, Catwoman, and Nightwing had managed to push over a table so they could use it as cover.

"I think you can get over them and through the door if you use that grappling gun of yours," suggested Catwoman.

"Then you'll be badly outnumbered," Batman shook his head.

"We can take care of ourselves," said Nightwing. "Freeze has to be ready to kill his hostages by now."

Reluctantly, Batman quickly Batgrappled on an overhead fan blade over the goons, ran through a door, and closed it behind himself. He hated running out on Nightwing and Catwoman, but they were right. Lives were at stake.

**Nightwing's perspective:**

"Well," said Nightwing, "We're outnumbered and up against futuristic guns. Any ideas?"

"Just one," said Catwoman. Immediately afterwards, Nightwing heard a doorknob slowly turning and the voice of Batman saying, "Hold on, children. I'm not leaving you behind."

Just as Nightwing would have protested that Batman should keep going, Catwoman placed a hand over his mouth and whispered, "Element of surprise." They peeked to see that that Freeze's men were focused on the door and not Nightwing and Catwoman.

"Got gas?" asked Catwoman.

"Yeah, said Nightwing as he threw a gas pellet at Freeze's men. Within seconds, they were out cold.

"You know ventriloquism?" Nightwing asked Catwoman.

"I do now," grinned Catwoman slyly.

"I can kinda tell what he sees in you," said Nightwing.

"Hey," said Batgirl in rage. _Uh-oh!_

"N-not that I'm not taken," said Nightwing nervously.

"Robin and I have frozen legs," said Batgirl. Nightwing and Catwoman went over to help. _Looks like I might have to be here awhile,_

"Don't worry," said Catwoman as she and Nightwing began pounding at Batgirl's frozen legs. "It's not the Batboy I've got."

"In... your... dreams," insisted a cold Robin.

"His nightmare maybe," said Catwoman.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman ambushed the man holding prisoners in a hall. "Thank God," said one woman. "F-Freeze was gonna kill us!"

"Stay," commanded Batman as he barged through the door.

"The city wouldn't see to her needs so..." Mr. Freeze turned towards Batman and blasted at Batman. Batman was not completely able to dodge it before Bataranging the Freeze Gun out of Freeze's hands. Batman's left hand and forearm were frozen, but he knew how to turn this to his advantage. Using the ice as a club, he punched a hole in the glass that helped keep Freeze's face at under fifty degrees below zero. Feeling the room temperature, he screamed and fell to the ground in an attempt to cover his face with the floor.

"Why?" asked Freeze. "You know I'm justified."

"No, you're not," said Batman. "I know what you've been through - believe it or not - but killing loved ones of those who wronged you isn't justice. It's not even revenge. Any way you look at it, it's murdering people who never harmed you."

Everybody sailed back to the mainland. As the boat reached land and the families of Mayor Linseed and the City Council were heading home, Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl, and Robin realized that The Catwoman had vanished without anyone noticing.

"Where'd she go?" asked Batgirl.

"Don't know," said Batman. "Don't care at the moment, either. Whatever their motives, she helped us save the city."

"Speaking of which," noted Robin, "Who wants to thank The Hog?"

"It's the right thing to do," admitted Batgirl.

"I'm in no hurry," said Batman.

"If there's no business to take care of," began Batgirl before glaring at Nightwing, "If you _ever _give me any indication that you'd take a criminal over me, I will beat the ever-loving shit out of you!"

"Aren't you overreacting a tad?" asked Nightwing. He was slapped in the face.

"You've got your answer," laughed Robin.

"What's this about?" asked Batman.

"Mind your own business," said Batgirl.

"If you've got it in you," said Nightwing.

"At least you've found common ground," said Batman.

"So," asked Robin. "What's gonna happen to the bad guy?"

"He'll go back to prison," said Batman.

"Executed?" asked Nightwing.

"I hope not," Batman said with his head down.

"Why?," asked Batgirl. "For attempting mass murder and trying to destroy this city, he deserves it!"

"He was driven to extremes by tragedy, like we were," argued Batman. "If we hadn't been steered right by others, we could have become him."

**Mr. Freeze's perspective:**

Mr. Freeze was outside of his costume. He thought of his wife Nora. "I'm sorry, my dear," he said. "I can't do anything right for you, it seems."

The guard Freeze had conversed with at the beginning of this story entered his cell. "Guess who dodged death row?" he asked.

"I give up," said Freeze.

"You. The Gov'nor's understanding of your situation. Me? I'd have ordered your execution in a second!"

Freeze's answer to that was to pull the guard into the cold beam to stun him with the intense cold and take away his gun.

"Joking," pleaded the guard. "In fact, I warned you that you'd make mistakes with your plan to save your wife. I tried to help."

"I know," said Freeze. "But who said this gun was for you?" He put the barrel of the gun in his mouth, pointed at the upper jaw, and pulled the trigger.


	2. Haunted House of Questions

**Jason Todd's perspective:**

Barbara Gordon had entered Wayne Manor with an eye on her phone. "With how this hot guy has your attention," grinned Jason, "Dick's not gonna be happy."

"It's not a boyfriend," said Barbara, "It's a game. _Squaretegy_. I'm not a hardcore gamer, but, in this case, I can't put it down."

"Didn't know you were an anything gamer," said Jason. "Life's full of surprises."

"Enough," said Bruce. "Time to patrol."

**Batman's perspective:**

"How come you don't have any hobbies?" asked Robin. "I mean real hobbies, not what you do to keep up appearances."

"Because I find my work fulfilling enough," said Batman.

"How come you tell lies like that and I can't even cuss?" asked Robin.

"Fine," said Batman, now frowning. "I was never able to find out who killed my parents. Because of this, games and entertainment don't feel the same for me as when I was a child. The only thrill I get anymore is when I'm doing good."

Batman noticed a car driving at far beyond the speed limit past the Batmobile. He spun around to pursue.

"Speeding's not much of a crime," said Robin. "How come we're going to this trouble."

"Number one," said Batman, "He could seriously hurt someone. Number two, when someone's driving this fast, he's either drunk driving or fleeing the police."

The Batgrapple of the Batmobile hooked the rear of the car, stopping it.

The Dynamic Duo walked over to the driver's side. "Out," said Batman. Out came a young man and a young woman.

"What right do you have to pull us over?" asked the man, looking woozy. "We haven't done anything."

"You were goin' a little fast, weren't you?" said Robin. "And you look kinda drunk."

"Like you know," said the man. "You're not even old enough to drive or know what drunk is."

"Look, Stanley," said the woman. "I love you more than words can say, but shut the Hell up! You're drunk driving four months after you got a DWI."

"And you were driving at over seventy miles an hour," said Batman.

"The crowd seems to be going against you," argued Robin.

Stanley stood silent for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and saying, "Cynthia, Batman, Robin, I'm sorry."

"If we accept that apology," asked a skeptical Batman, "What makes us think you won't do this again if you're doing it after a DWI?"

"I can help you with that," said Cynthia. "He's not driving again for the next three months. Anytime he needs a car, he has to call me to drive him around. And there will be no beer during these three months either."

"Aren't you overreac..." Stanley shut up as he saw Batman shaking his head. "OK, Cynthia."

"I guess we know who's the boss of this relationship," laughed Robin.

"Don't discourage him from learning," snapped Batman.

"Look," said Cynthia. "He's a nice guy. He just can't get off booze. Overlook this and I promise that if I can't fix him up, I'll call the police."

Batman's instinct said that shouldn't let this slide, but he remembered that he had fired Dick Grayson from being Robin, and that he had learned from his mistakes as Nightwing. "Very well." Batman unhooked the couple's car from the Batmobile.

The young couple left. This time, Cynthia was driving.

As they continued their patrol, Robin said, "That was sad. We should've sent that moron to prison. He'll never change."

"I'm surprised at you," said Batman. "Our job is to solve crimes, not punish people. Stanley isn't an arch-criminal or crime boss. I saw in his eyes a good man who made mistakes."

"He'll never stop making them," said Robin.

Batman moved the Batmobile into a nearby parking space. "Who are you to judge?" he asked. "You robbed me on the night Dick and I met you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that if we had treated you as you would have us treat Stanley, you'd be in Juvenile Hall."

That ended the argument; Robin's silence was quite loud.

**The Riddler's perspective:**

With his henchwomen, Query and Echo, watching a romantic comedy on TV, The Riddler was playing _Squaretegy_. It was critically acclaimed phone game, but Riddler was finding it to be much too easy. Then again, befuddling the Prince of Puzzles was not the easiest thing in the world to do.

_Perhaps I should prove that I am the greatest puzzler of our time! Yes. And much smarter than the overrated but lucky Batman as well!_

"Don't relax too much," said The Riddler. "We've got work to do as soon as you're finished with your movie."

**Batman's perspective:**

With all three crimefighters back in the Batcave, Batman asked Batgirl, "You wouldn't have found any sign of The Riddler, would you?"

"No such luck," admitted Batgirl. "He's being more careful since he busted out this time."

"Why is everybody so scared of him?" asked Robin. "Looks like a skinny nerd to me. And not the kind who fixes your laptop. The kind who wishes he were big and strong enough to be a bully."

"I wouldn't underestimate him," warned Batman. _I swear, Jason's good at what he does, but his arrogance will be the death of him!_

"He may be a skinny bag of bones," said Batgirl, "But he's brilliant! You're lucky you haven't had to deal with him yet."

"What's he do?" asked Robin.

"He leaves clues in the form of riddles," said Batman.

Robin bursted out laughing. "You call that smart? Get real. That's the stupidest thing a lowlife can do!"

"It's a weakness," Batman acknowledged, "But he's an extremely dangerous man in other ways. Don't say I didn't warn you."

**Drake Theiman's perspective:**

Lunch break. Time for Drake Theiman to have some food in his office and work a bit on his _World of Warcraft _orc. Just as he was picking up his laptop, he felt two objects that felt like guns on his cheeks. "Freeze," said a female voice.

The two assailants backed up to reveal a Chinese woman and a white, blonde-haired woman. "I'd say we've gotcha covered," said the Chinese woman, "But that might give you some ideas."

"I always liked laughing at boys who bullied nerds," said the blonde. "Even more fun to do it yourself. No offense, Eddie."

"I knew I recognized you," said Drake. "You work for The Riddler."

"Somebody pays attention," a man walked from behind Drake to in-between the ladies. Drake recognized him as The Riddler. "Try this one: when is morality a failure?"

"When the right thing to do is not the rational thing?" asked Drake.

"I knew we were dealing with an overrated brain," said The Riddler. "Morality is a failure when you accomplish a lot without succeeding. A moral 'victory.'"

"Lame," said Drake. Query and Echo cocked their guns.

"I'll give you another chance," offered Riddler. He handed a Rubix Cube to Drake. "You solve this in five minutes and we'll leave you be." _Little does he know that I know these. I'm home free._

But after three minutes of fiddling with it, Drake had gotten nowhere. "I made a few modifications to the traditional Cube," stated Riddler. "But you're deserving of your reputation as a ingenious puzzlemeister. You'll figure it out."

Drake didn't. "Time's up," said The Riddler. "And so are you. Girls..."

The two women were leading him outside. "Look, he said. Whatever Question Head's paying you, I'll double it."

"Sorry," said Query. "We owe him, and we're not cheap hoes."

"Yeah," said Echo. "He made us well-to-do. Even when we're in prison, we can bribe our way into luxury treatment."

Drake's heart sank. _Hundreds of thousands of thugs in town. Why'd I have to get two of the thousands with at least some integrity?_

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

"What did you signal for?" asked Batman behind Commissioner James Gordon. He whipped around to face Batman and sighed. This was one of two things about Batman he hated. One would have thought that after two years of this, he would be used to it by now.

"A video game programmer named Drake Theiman has been kidnapped by The Riddler," explained Gordon. "Here are the riddles." Gordon handed Batman pieces of paper that had been left in Theiman's office.

"The Riddler usually makes it personal," said Batman.

"I know," said Gordon. "And in fact, I'm told that Mr. Theiman's games are basically puzzles."

"Commish," shouted Detective Harvey Bullock, barging throw the door to the stairway down. "We've made some headway on the three druggies."

"Good," said Gordon. "Fill me in when..." Batman was gone.

This was the other thing Gordon hated about The Dark Knight.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman entered the Batmobile and messaged Batgirl and Robin on the Batcycle. They would solve the riddles together.

After regrouping with his comrades in mask and explaining the case, Batman read the first riddle to them: "'What is needed for a full life yet against the rules?'"

"Fun," guessed Batgirl.

"I wouldn't consider it to be necessary," said Batman, "But I know The Riddler would."

"I'll never understand you," said Robin.

"Nobody does," Batgirl backed the young hero up.

"Here's me in a nutshell," said Batman. "I've long since killed any enjoyment of the so-called finer things. 'What do people hate in a single woman but admire in a married one?'"

"Cheap," said Robin. "A cheap single woman's a whore, but a cheap married one's good to her husband."

"I'll bet his two bitches helped him out with that one," figured Batgirl.

"Probably, given his ego and insensitivity," agreed Batman. "What park gives you no amusement?"

"That makes no sense," said Robin.

"Have more imagination," said Batman. "A haunted house is an amusement park of a sort."

Batgirl snapped her fingers. "And it's gotta be the one! It's negative fun. But amusement has a _positive _connotation."

"Never would've guessed," said Robin. "But then, you don't do these kinds of things as a kid when your parents are broke."

"Or if they're always busy on cases," said a wistful Batgirl. "Barbara Gordon still gets apologies for her father never being there for her. And I don't mind admitting it. I'm wondering if I should be a mother one day. Of course, Dad would kill himself if he thought he was the reason I stayed childless."

"Let's go," said Batman without any reaction to Batgirl's reminiscence.

"Insensitive is right," complained Robin.

**The Riddler's perspective:**

"I don't like this," said Query.

"Me neither," said Echo. "Trying to kill The Batman and his young friends has gotten us behind bars before."

"Do I look like a beer-swilling sitcom dad?" asked The Riddler in a tone that indicated that he felt wronged (which he did). "I've got it all figured out. And even if I'm wrong, they won't get us. I've got a little surprise for the long-eared micro-brain."

"You mean you've considered that they'll figure out all your riddles this time?" asked Query.

"You're learning," said Echo.

"I wouldn't be the genius that I am if I didn't learn," Riddler assured them.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman had researched haunted houses recently sold. As a matter of fact one, The Ghetto House, had. Located in inner Gotham City, this looked like the kind of place the riddles pointed to.

Batman, Batgirl, and Robin were moving around the newly shut down Ghetto House when The Riddler's voice said, "Bullies always do try to ambush. Try this again. Come back around through the front door. Theiman is waiting for you." _Subtle._

They went around to the front. "Before you enter," said Riddler, "Please remove your belts. I play fair."

"Yeah, right," said Robin.

"That poor man's life depends on this," said Batgirl as she removed her belt.

Batman took off his belt as well, but with some sleight-of-hand, he managed to get his Battablet into his right boot without The Riddler's hidden camera detecting it. Since he used computers a lot, that was what Batman wanted to pack. "Now you," he told Robin. Robin reluctantly unfastened his belt and let it drop.

"You may enter," said The Riddler. The trio did so.

"Stop," said The Riddler. Again, the heroes did as they were advised. "To your sides."

There were four flexible, computer-controlled cannons to the left of Batman, Batgirl, and Robin, another four to their right. "Things get messy if you don't solve this riddle," challenged Riddler. "It's a place. We all think about it from time to time. It contains all our mistakes but no solutions."

"I don't get it," said Batgirl.

"Me, neither," said Robin.

"Since the insecure Batman hasn't said anything, I'm guessing that he's stumped, as well," boasted Riddler with glee. "Ten seconds before they fire."

Seven seconds later, Batman finally tried, "The past. All our mistakes were made then. But because our next problems will be different, so will be the solutions."

"Well-done," The Riddler said with reduced enthusiasm. "Move on."

The three did move on. They entered a room with pieces of a jigsaw puzzle strewn everywhere. "You have thirty seconds to figure it out before gas floods the room," said Riddler, "Starting now."

Batman, Batgirl, and Robin worked fast, but with the need to move around to get pieces, _and _put the puzzle together, it was less than a third of the through as Batman counted to twenty-three in his mind. "Mona Lisa," he said.

"Very clever, Batman," said a begrudging Riddler.

"What made you think that'd work?" asked Robin.

"He said 'Figure it out,'" Batman reminded Robin. "He said nothing about putting it together."

The three continued to find an intersection. The wall in front of the intersection had a picture of a hamburger on the right and another picture of a bowl of beef, broccoli, and rice on the left. Below the pictures were five machine gun turrets

"中国人喜欢什么样的饮食?" asked The Riddler.

"What did he say?" asked Robin.

"'What kind of diet do the Chinese like?'" translated Batman. "Giving us the riddle in Chinese was clever, But everyone knows they prefer rice in..."

"That's what he wants us to think," said Batgirl. "China's embrace of global markets has brought American chains into even that country. But it doesn't change the fact that in China, there's even fewer left-handed people than in America."

"Good one of us remembers that," said Batman.

So Batman, Batgirl, and Robin picked the unlikely hamburger path. "Lucky guess," said Riddler with iron in his voice.

"Face it," said Robin. "We're way smarter than you!"

"You have contributed nothing to the solving of these riddles," said The Riddler.

"Ooh, I got him mad," laughed Robin.

"You've had an attitude adjustment," scowled Riddler, not realizing that this was not the same Robin that he had met before. "It's the last change you'll ever go through. Because my next puzzle cannot be solved."

"Oh?" asked Batman. The Riddler didn't answer. He let them into a room with a large, open explosive to the side of the chair in which Drake Theiman was tied to and gagged.

"I have painted five of the wires," explained The Riddler. These wires came in red, white, black, purple, and green. "One of these wires will disarm the bomb if ripped out; all others, including the colors, will detonate it. Rotsa ruck, Batman!" A timer began counting down from twenty.

"Sorry," apologized Batgirl. "This wasn't in any of my extra credits in school."

"I know bombs," said Batman, "But I'm hung up on this." The timer hit thirteen.

"I know which one," said Robin. "I'm sure anyway."

"How can you possibly..." began Batgirl.

"Dad taught me instinct," said Robin, running to the bomb. "I got this!" Six seconds remained.

"Too late anyway," said Batman. "Get it over with."

Robin pulled the green wire. The bomb turned off. "Who's contributed nothing to solving these riddles again?" Robin laughed hard.

"Well done, partner,"

"Sorry, suckers," taunted Riddler. "I'm not in The Ghetto House. In fact, right now I'm planning my next move in another state. See you in a few months!"

Robin lost it and fell down, pounding the floor. _This is stupid. Calm him down, Batman. But, first, remind yourself that Jason's just a kid._

"This isn't helping," said Batman as he and Batgirl pulled Robin back up to his feet.

Batgirl grunted in frustration and said, "He squeezed money out of the programmer scot-free. We may have survived, but he'll attack again. He's outsmarted us."

"Not yet," said Batman, grabbing the Battablet that he had sneaked into his right boot when Riddler demanded that The Caped Crusaders relinquish their weapons. "Yes! I'm detecting a freshly dissipated electronic signal that originated in Nashville. But first, let's get Theiman back home."

"Poor guy looks terrified," Batgirl agreed.

**The Riddler's perspective:**

"He hasn't won anything," The Riddler laughed in the hotel room he, Query, and Echo were staying in. "The Dark Meathead's had every fluke of chance go his way, but reality finally became due tonight. He may have survived our traps, girls, but he couldn't stop us from robbing Theiman or selling The Ghetto House after killing it's previous owners. Tomorrow's our first day as rich people. And soon enough, we'll be rid of him once and for all!"

"Why bother with Batman anyway?" asked Query?

"Yeah, isn't this what you wanted?" asked Echo.

"Enough money to retire on is what _you _wanted," corrected Riddler. "But I want is to be renowned as the smartest man in the world! Killing Batman will do that. So while we have a vacation, don't stay up too late, OK?"

Suddenly, The Riddler, Query, and Echo felt their bodies get heavier and their eyes more teary as a gas bomb exploded near them. They all fell to the ground seconds before members of the Nashville Police Department said, "You have a right to remain silent."

"No," The Riddler screamed as he realized that somehow, some way, Batman had trailed him all the way to Nashville in moments. "How does he do it? How?"

"For God's sake," said Echo, "Calm down. You'll get us killed."

"Yeah," concurred Query. "Besides, be a good loser."

"Aw, shut up!" Riddler screamed even louder than before.

**Bruce's perspective:**

"You hear?" asked Jason the next morning. He showed Bruce a headline on a phone's web browser showing the arrests of The Riddler, Query, and Echo.

"Good," smiled Bruce.

"Funnily enough," said Jason. "This time it was him turning into a baby when they busted 'im."

But Bruce didn't have enough of a sense of humor to be amused by this. "The Riddler has lost his mind, Jason. And with it, any ability to make rational decisions."


	3. Friends Close, Enemies Closer

**The Mad Hatter's perspective:**

Jervis Tetch, The Mad Hatter, had sprung himself from Arkham Asylum through air vents. The government mules hadn't counted on that because virtually everyone was too big to escape through them. But this was one case in which "Vertically challenged" wasn't the best way to describe The Hatter.

The Mad Hatter knew that when he tried to make a living, he would again be confronted by The Batman. Not only that, he had partners.

_Hold on! I'm just the archcriminal to turn those partners to my advantage._

**The Huntress' perspective:**

The disguised Helena Bertinelli had just thwarted another mugging and was on her way home. She began thinking on her situation. As much as she admired The Batman, he was a self-righteous guy who didn't like that The Huntress believed that there came a time to put the bad guy down. It was, therefore, fortunate that they had never met again since their defeat of The Malevolent Seven over a year before. The Huntress did not want to quarrel with Batman anymore, let alone fight him.

But Huntress remembered science class and teachers telling her that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. At some point, the two crimefighters would come to blows.

The outcome was not a problem for The Huntress. She used more lethal weaponry than Batman and was willing to do anything to survive or save innocents. Batman, on the other hand, was actually willing to risk his life for scum. As long as The Huntress kept herself from being ganged-up on by Batman and his brat pack, she had it made!

Except, could she in good conscience kill Batman and all the future good he would have done? Huntress hoped not. That would be one kill she could not live with.

But somehow, she had a feeling she'd have too someday.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

"You sure they're working for him?" asked Batgirl of the men she was riding the Batcycle after.

"Yeah," said Robin. "No emotion. Like robots. "'Cause that's what The Mad Hatter does to people."

"Inspired by _Alice in Wonderland_," Batgirl tried to put things together. "Dresses in a green suit with top hat. Tiny. To be fair, you might think The Joker's just a clown." Batgirl stopped the Batcycle next to where the car they were pursuing had pulled over.

"Wait," Robin cautioned after they had stopped. "Batman always says that I should stop a distance away from..."

She was cut off by helmets being slapped onto her and Robin's heads. Batgirl's had cut-outs that her mask's ear protrusions fit through so it could get on. The two spun around to see no one there. "Ahem," said a voice below. Batgirl and Robin looked down to see the four-foot Mad Hatter below.

"Induce trance," commanded The Hatter. What happened next was that Batgirl felt an electronic surge through her brain. An instant later, she couldn't move. She couldn't even ask Robin if the same had happened to him.

"Follow me," suggested The Mad Hatter as he walked away. Surprisingly, Batgirl and Robin did. For without warning, they had literally lost control!

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Batgirl and Robin had never returned to Wayne Manor and nothing on their whereabouts had been reported, either by the police or on the news. This worried Bruce. But upon returning to Wayne Manor from work, Bruce was told by Alfred, "Master Bruce? Madam Batgirl and Master Robin have sent a message to the Batcomputer for you to meet them in downtown Gotham."

"I see where this is going," said a thoughtful Bruce.

"Why so suspicious?" asked Alfred. "They are our dear friends."

"Maybe," Bruce prepared to guide Alfred through the illogical mess, "But why disappear for a day? If nothing else, keeping on uncomfortable suits all this time is highly unlikely. And then there's the recent escape of an archcriminal, The Mad Hatter, who specializes in mind control. Is it that hard to connect the dots, Alfred?"

"If he does have them," Alfred grimly realized, "You're all in trouble."

"Yes," agreed Bruce. "Fellow members of the pinnacle of mankind's intellectual and athletic powers. And further strengthened by The Hatter's mind control chips. This won't be easy."

"I suggest that you need some help."

"There is none on such short notice. Nightwing is his new man and in any case, I already asked him recently. Superman's off-planet. Wonder Woman's stopping a mythical beast in Saudi Arabia. There may be... no, she's a loose cannon."

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman parked the Batmobile an entire town away from where the message in the Batcomputer clearly meant to lure him into a trap. He hoped to remain unseen But then he heard a motorcycle driving through one of the alleys he was using to get around on foot. Expecting to find The Mad Hatter and his slaves, Batman instead saw The Huntress.

"Your 'friends' have turned on you, haven't they?" asked the crimefighter in cloaked purple.

"What makes you think that?" asked Batman.

"They were seen at a betting place today and didn't bust anybody," said The Huntress.

"Maybe we don't care about that kind of crime," offered Batman. An exaggeration, but gambling wasn't the priority to him that, say, burglary and rape were.

"Then they had no reason to be there except to fix games," said The Huntress. "And the recently escaped Mad Hatter's done that before."

"What do you want?" asked Batman.

"To help," volunteered The Huntress.

"I don't think so," said Batman. "Your tendency to kill is something I can't accept."

The Huntress stared hard at Batman. "I'll spare you the 'It's the only way' speech if you'll spare me the 'The ends don't justify the means' speech. I think I've figured out by watching where you've been going just where The Hatter's got your brats. You know that without me, you don't have much of a chance."

"I don't give up," said Batman.

"Neither do I," said Huntress. "I'm gonna hit 'em hard whether you bring me along or not. If you're so sure I need to be kept under control, who else can do it but you?" _She's got a point. A perverse point, but a point nonetheless._

"Just don't do anything I wouldn't do," Batman demanded fiercely.

They entered the building next to the Batcycle through an elevated window. Batman removed the rope and grappling hook from his Batgrapple, then used it to slide down to the ground carefully, The Huntress holding on.

"You taught me too well, big guy," said a young and familiar voice. Batman turned and saw that it was Robin in a helmet, and with his nightvision lenses activated on it.

"Me?" asked Batgirl from the other side. "I was training for this before Batman even existed." She also had her nightvision lenses.

The two former allies of Batman charged, but fell after The Huntress quickly threw four knives, each of which hit one of the four knees of legs running towards her and Batman. This caused Batgirl and Robin to fall.

"Was that necessary?" thundered Batman.

"Shut up and help me tuck the kids in for the night," said The Huntress.

"No," said Batman quickly. "Take off their helmets." And they did.

"Where am I?" asked Robin, now clutching his cut knee. "Ow!"

"Under The Hatter's control," explained Batman.

"Probably would've added Batman to his slave collection if I hadn't come along," said Huntress.

Before Batman could object, Batgirl said, "We were a lot stronger. She's probably right, like it or not. Go get The Hatter. We're no good to you now."

Nodding, Batman continued exploring with The Huntress close behind. They soon entered the living room to discover what looked to be no less than eight Mad Hatters holding machine pistols.

"As you big people can see," chuckled The Hatters, "I'm expanding my area of expertise. One of us is the real Hatter. The others are perfect holograms. Can you figure out who the real one is before you're tasting lead?"

"Tell me you have a plan," whispered The Huntress.

"I always do," promised Batman just before Bataranging the gun from the real Hatter's hands. Rushing forward, Batman got a foot on the gun just as The Mad Hatter was diving on it.

"Oh, no," said The Hatter, realizing that he was finished. Batman lifted his diminutive foe above ground by the arms.

"Oh, yes," said Batman. "Back to Arkham."

"How?" asked The Hatter. "The holograms were perfect."

"But they don't cast shadows," Batman explained how he solved this puzzle. "Stick to what you know. Or better yet, realize that I'll always stop you. As for you Hun..." he stopped upon seeing that The Huntress was gone. Evidently, she realized that the case was over and took off.

"You've been snubbed," taunted The Hatter.

"Oh, she's no friend of mine," said Batman. "But, Hatter, your only concern is life back in Arkham."

**Bruce's perspective:**

Back at Wayne Manor, Jason and Barbara were lying down, their wounded knees bandaged.

"So where is The Huntress?" asked Jason.

"Doesn't matter," said Bruce. "Whatever differences we have with her, she helped us."

"Or the three of you would be prisoners of the little chap by now," said Alfred.

"Yeah," agreed Jason. "I can live and let live."

"Don't push it," said Bruce. "By the way, Jason, thank you for revealing your limitations."

"Hey, you've needed help before," said Jason.

"Not the point," corrected Bruce. "Truth is, you've probably got a lot of potential as a crimefighter. But no one who lusts after the murderess who thinks she's a heroine is ever running my company. It will never become one of _that _kind of business."

"Someone shouldn't be so judgmental, bitch magnet," grinned Batgirl.

"I don't know what you're taking about," lied Bruce.


	4. Trust and Love

**The Ventriloquist's perspective:**

At the age of fifty-four, it took no more than a fake beard and toupee for The Ventriloquist to convince the family of a secretly dead old man that he was "Grampa." They finished their tour of Arkham Asylum before driving The Ventriloquist and his "wife," Jades, to a retirement home. Ventriloquist watched TV for an hour and a half with Jades before she passed out.

The Ventriloquist briefly thought about leaving Gotham, creating a new identity separate that was neither The Ventriloquist nor Arnold Wesker, and making an honest living with his skills in ventriloquism.

He didn't get very far with this before he felt an urging to get a new mafia-themed dummy. While the Scarface personality had nothing to speak through, its hold over Ventriloquist had not lessened one iota.

"What's wrong?" asked the cashier of the antiques store that The Ventriloquist was buying a dummy from.

"What makes you think anything would be wrong?" feigned Ventriloquist.

"I saw a tear roll down your cheek," said The Ventriloquist.

"Don't even think about it," said Scarface. "Nobody kills me."

"Nobody's killing anyone," promised the cashier. "Say, where are you?"

"I... I didn't hear anyone," The Ventriloquist reluctantly lied. "It must be your imagination."

"Apparently," the cashier thought he realized.

Upon exiting the store, The Ventriloquist put his hand in the dummy to begin operating it, though in reality it should have been the dummy with his hand up The Ventriloquist's ass!

"It's great to talk again," said Scarface through the dummy with joy. "Two years of not gein' able ta see is enough!"

The Ventriloquist's heart sank. He wished he weren't so talented. He wanted to get caught trying to escape, but Scarface's silent influence made sure he followed the plan to the letter.

"So what do we do now?" asked Ventriloquist, knowing that he wouldn't like any possible answer.

"First things first," planned Scarface. "We gust out Mugsy and Rhino. After we hire some more guys, The Still Lips're open for business again."

"Things have changed in this town," cautioned The Ventriloquist.

"I know," said Scarface. "The Traylors took over the mobs. Still a lotta smaller gangs. They just have to pay regular tribute. I might have that fixed someday, too. First, we want revenge."

"On The Batman?" asked The Ventriloquist.

"No, moron," insulted Scarface. "The shrinks said it's The Catwoman who's got me pissed, remember?"

"That's right," The Ventriloquist lightly struck his own forehead as he recalled. "You're angry that she betrayed you."

"Ya should ge too," suggested Scarface. "Gut then again, yer a pussy. If I wasn't around to make you pretend to ge a man, you'd ge the henpecked doormat of a gitch like her."

The Ventriloquist doubted that such a life could be any worse than the life he lead. In fact, knowing what an impulsive killer Scarface was, he could not blame Catwoman for turning on them like that. But he didn't dare tell Scarface that. "Thank you, sir."

**Bruce's perspective:**

Upon returning home from work, Bruce Wayne entered Jason Todd's room to find him playing video games. Jason turned his console off as soon as he saw Bruce.

"Is it time?" asked Jason.

"More than time," said Bruce. "Scarface is an archcriminal I haven't seen in two years."

"Really?" asked a surprised Jason. "I'd have thought he'd have given up after that long."

"Batman has found that you should not underestimate their misguided determination," said Bruce. "Scarface is one of two personalities in Arnold Wesker. The other is the mild-mannered ventriloquist. Scarface makes his presence known through a dummy."

"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Jason, getting up and marching several steps before clutching the knee wound he had received in the previous chapter and falling to the ground.

"That," said Bruce.

"I may not be one hundred percent..." began Jason.

"You'd better be one hundred percent," said Bruce. "Robin has to nest until his leg is healed."

"Don't do this," implored Jason.

"We can do this the easy way," Bruce folded his arms, "Or we can do it the hard way. The easy way is you enjoy your video games until your knee is fit for combat. The hard way is, to put it in words that even you can understand, is a gasser!"

"You're lame and a jerk," protested Jason. _I suspect he'd use worse language if I allowed him to._

"Maybe lame," admitted Bruce. "But a jerk would let you get yourself killed in that condition. I won't."

Soon enough, Barbara arrived. Because she also had a cut knee, she was forced to train a bit to see if she was up to this. She made it past two obstacles before her injury brought her down in pain.

"Sorry," said Barbara. "I can't help."

"Don't be ashamed," consoled Bruce. "Recognizing your disabilities is a good thing, not a bad thing. Besides, I don't want to have to tell your father that you died unnecessarily."

"He wouldn't exactly be happy about you dying," said Barbara.

"Meaning what?" asked Bruce.

"Meaning he tells me that he thinks of you as a great friend," said Barbara.

"Feeling's mutual," smiled Bruce.

"Enough mush," said Jason. "Just be careful, Bruce. Batman's not gonna have any help this time, hear?"

**The Hog's perspective:**

Yuji Takahan, the lawyer/accountant of the Traylor crime family, came to visit the boss, Becky "The Hog" Traylor. "Ms. Traylor," said Yuji. "An archcriminal, Scarface, has escaped."

"Thank you for informin' me," said The Hog.

"Why aren't you ever worried about these people?" asked Yuji.

"'Cause Ah've learned from the mistakes of other Southern crime families. Tryin' to start as many fights as you can ain't gonna work. Gotta pick your battles. It's even better to let your enemies destroy each other."

"When you put it that way..." smiled Yuji.

**Catwoman's perspective:**

The Catwoman returned home wearing a diamond necklace she had pilfered. "Gorgeous," said her roommate and best friend, Sabisia Williams. "Doubt there's any flaws in it."

"And it feels really good to wear," said Catwoman. "Wish I didn't have to sell it, but I... what's that hissing sound?"

"I don't hear anything," said Sabisia.

"You don't have a burglar's ears," said Catwoman. "Get Caesarion the Hell outta here! This room, and maybe the whole building's about to blow up!"

"What about you?" asked Sabisia.

"Do as I say," snapped Catwoman. "There's no time."

Sure enough, the room soon blew up, but not before all three occupants were out. Catwoman had Sabisia flee the scene with Selina Kyle's pet cougar, Caesarion. Catwoman and her pet cougar, Caesarion, went up to a nearby rooftop. This enabled The Princess of Plunder to watch with binoculars. "I don't know who tried to kill us," she said, "But that person is going to regret it!"

"Agreed," Catwoman heard a familiar male voice say behind her and snapped around to spot The Batman. "But for the record it wasn't me."

Given the complications in this relationship, Catwoman wasn't sure whether to fight or talk. Caesarion tackled Batman, but to the humans' surprise, Caesarion did not bite and claw The Darked Night, but licked and nuzzled his face instead.

"He likes you," Catwoman grinned as she kneeled to Batman's side.

"Did he learn that from you?" asked Batman.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Catwoman playfully. "But then again, why else would we not have killed you by now?"

"You'd kill me for showing concern for you?" asked Batman.

"If I wasn't a stupid-ass bitch, yeah," said Catwoman. "But guess what? I am. Care to help me find out who tried to kill me?"

"Absolutely not," said Batman. "Not after you set me and Batgirl up for the Traylors. We could've been killed."

"I told you before," said Catwoman. "I didn't have a choice. Since you know who I am now, I'll be specific this time. The Traylors were threatening to kill Sabisia."

"I see no reason to believe that," said Batman, unmoved.

"Dammit, Batman," said a frustrated Catwoman, "Didn't you notice how sad I looked as I did it?"

"Forget it," Batman glared at her. "There's no way I'm trusting you!"

**The Ventriloquist's perspective:**

"They're coming down to Earth together," The Ventriloquist told Scarface what he was seeing through a teloscope.

"So Cats' knight in dark armor's on the case, is he?" realized Scarface.

"I think it's time to change our plans," said The Ventriloquist.

"I knew you'd say that, chicken shit," ridiculed Scarface. "We ain't goin' nowhere. We're killin' two furgalls o' the night with one stone!"

"But together, they..." began The Ventriloquist.

"...Can ge killed like anygody else," declared Scarface. "Ya see where that friend of Cats was goin', Ventriloquist?"

"I think so," said The Ventriloquist.

"Then we're gonna take Rhino out for a special night with her. The others'll get the word out that we're here an' get us a little somethin'."

**Batman's perspective:**

_I cannot believe I let Catwoman talk me into this. She has betrayed me once before and now works for one of the most dangerous people in the world. Even if she were telling the truth about having had no choice, her current allegiance means that she probably couldn't play straight with me if she wanted to. And I doubt even that this condition is there._

_The way I see it, after we have taken care of Scarface and The Ventriloquist, another shoe is going to drop. I'm going to be literally stabbed in the back through one of the chinks in my body armor that Catwoman has learned about from past experience. Either that, or I'll be conked out and wake up to see Catwoman and The Hog fighting over who gets to use me as a sex slave. I can't believe I joked to myself about that. The kids must be rubbing off on me._

_Speaking of the kids, Batgirl has always warned me that I'm attracted to the wrong kind of woman. Guess she's right, since I'm walking into what I know is a trap._

Batman and Catwoman were in the store that records showed that The Ventriloquist had bought from. Showing the cashier a picture of Ventriloquist, Batman asked with iron in his voice, "Have you seen this man?"

"Yeah," said the cashier.

"Any idea of where he is?" asked Batman.

"No really," said the cashier uncertainly. "Although I've heard a rumor."

"Rumors are usually based on a piece of truth," noted Catwoman.

"Yeah," said the cashier. "But I can tell you're after him so I ain't telling you anything. Gotta have principles."

"Listen," said Batman, clutching the man by the shirt.

"Go ahead," said the cashier. "Give me some time off."

"You're liable to eternity off if you don't talk," threatened Batman.

"You never kill," laughed the cashier.

"What makes you think that?"

"'Cause if you did, those psychos like this Scarface character wouldn't keep coming back. I'm way too smart for your tricks!"

Upon hearing that, Catwoman hopped onto the cashier's bench, lay down sexily, and said in a very sultry voice, "Mm-hmm. Way too smart to turn this down."

The cashier bristled. Pressing her advantage, Catwoman began stroking the cashier's cheek. "Hotel 9, the midwestern part of the city," said the cashier. Catwoman immediately got off the bench and backed away.

"You were pulling my leg, weren't you," asked the cashier. Catwoman smiled and nodded.

"Getting your leg pulled is better than an impending trap," said Batman as he and Catwoman left.

"Than why are you with him?"

"Because I'm stupid."

As the Batmobile raced towards midwestern Gotham City, Catwoman said, "For a minute there, I didn't think you trusted me."

Upon learning where Scarface's hotel room was, Batman, Catwoman, and Caesarion scouted it. They saw no one but a tied and gagged Sabisia inside an open vault. _A little soon after he escaped Arkham to get a vault._

"Sabisia," called Catwoman as she ran in with Caesarion following his mistress.

"No," Batman ran in after them. "This doesn't seem..." Catwoman was already halfway through freeing Sabisia when the vault sealed itself.

"...Right," Batman finished his sentence. Seconds later, helicopter blades could be heard.

"You are _not _hitting us with those knives," Catwoman was clearly figuring things out. Everyone could feel the vault turning sideways as it was pulled out of the hotel and further above ground.

"Fatman and Cuntwoman," insulted Scarface over a megaphone. "This is too good! Some people think youse is supernatural, that you can fly. Once we're in the clouds, we'll find out!"

"Spare Sabisia and Caesarion," pleaded Catwoman. "They've done nothing to you." Scarface simply laughed.

"Isn't killing the innocent..." began The Ventriloquist.

"Shut up," said Scarface. "Just get us to the clouds."

"I always thought you two were made for each other, despite everything," said Sabisia. "Now you're gonna die together. Convenient."

"Not that easily," vowed Batman.

"Yeah, that wooden bastard isn't winning this one. How 'bout acid? You've got some, right?"

"Yes," said Batman, "But it takes time to find a perch for my Batgrapple. If I take too long, we're liable to have built up so much momentum that the rope and grappling hook will break my arm!"

"Oh," realized Catwoman. "Can you get me to the 'top' of this thing?"

"My Batgrapple is magnetic," Batman answered. "So yes. But I don't think my safe-cracking skills are in this league."

"Mine are overqualified," Catwoman bragged. "Get me up there and I'll open that door on time." Batman fired his Batgrapple and it stuck to the door. Catwoman climbed up and began working on the lock with her claws.

Two minutes passed. Batman saw that Sabisia wanted to badger Catwoman and put a hand over her mouth. "She needs to concentrate."

After three minutes and forty-six seconds, a click could be heard. "Crack it open," directed Batman. "Don't open it all the way. The moment Scarface sees us, he'll want to have us shot. Sabisia, get the animal." As Sabisia held Caesarion's underbelly with one arm and draped the other around Batman's neck, he retracted and fired his Batgrapple at the opening Catwoman had created. It latched on.

Once the others were up with her, Catwoman opened the door more of the way through. Batman spotted a rooftop to grapple onto. "Grab onto me," he said. "Whatever you do, don't let go." All four beings swung towards a building and pulled up top by way of a retracting Batgrapple.

Although the helicopter was still a distance away, Batman could hear the sounds of Scarface cursing his men out. His frustration was why they had not thought to lose the chain connecting the vault to the helicopter, compromising its mobility. Setting up the homing signal in his Mini-Batjet, Batman waited until the helicopter was directly over the rooftop that Batman, Catwoman, Sabisia, and Caesarion were now on, then launched the Mini-Batjet at the helicopter just underneath the blades to bend their perch and cause the helicopter to drop down. A few of Batman's batarangs and strokes of Catwoman's whip disarmed Scarface's men. The two took some out.

Scarface, The Ventriloquist, and Rhino were all that remained. Batman delivered a few punches at Rhino that he barely seemed to feel. A punch from Rhino had Batman on his hands and knees. Moving on top and choking, Rhino declared, "Gotcha!"

But no sooner had he said that when Caesarion bit his left thigh. "Get off, puddy tat," Rhino screamed in pain as he kicked Caesarion away. Batman was motivated by the whimper of Caesarion he heard and reached around to begin elbowing the bitten thigh. After four elbow strikes, Rhino fell off Batman, holding his bad leg. One more power kick did the job.

Batman turned to see that Catwoman had her whip in her right hand and the Scarface dummy in the other. The Ventriloquist was on his knees.

"Put me down," demanded the voice of Scarface despite no one to operate the dummy.

"OK," said Catwoman, flinging the dummy off the roof. Turning towards Ventriloquist, she threatened, "Your turn."

"You know I won't let you," said Batman.

"Shut the Hell up," thundered Catwoman. "After how you've treated me like scum all night, I wouldn't count on me listening to you."

"Please," The Ventriloquist begged for mercy. "Scarface isn't me. He's an alternate personality."

Catwoman paused for a few seconds before saying, "I guess not. And I wouldn't feel right killing someone after he begged for his life."

Catwoman turned to Batman with an intense look in her eyes and lightly patted her left leg with her free arm to call Caesarion. The cougar moved beside her and roared at Batman, albeit a much lower, more forced roar than the ones sounded at Scarface's men. Catwoman seconded the roar with a whip crack at the ground.

"Give it up," said Catwoman. "You could barely take me alone two years ago. We've got you."

"I've had the cards stacked against me before," said Batman bravely. As he spoke, he heard slow-moving footsteps behind him. "Don't try it, Williams," he warned.

"Yes, Sabisia," agreed Catwoman. "Back away. We've got this."

But the footsteps continued. Batman turned around and punched Sabisia out.

"Sabisia," Catwoman screamed before controlling herself in time to hold Caesarion back. "If you've hurt her..."

"Don't worry," said Batman. "She's just knocked out. For a second, I thought you were concerned for her."

"I was," said Catwoman. "But now I've no excuse for not being held back by feelings."

"I just got a similar downer," lamented Batman.

"Why are we killing each other, anyway?" asked Catwoman. "Well, I am, anyway. You want to send me to place I'd rather die than go."

Batman nodded and said, "It doesn't matter that you only betrayed me to save a friend," said Batman. "You're on the side of the Traylors now."

"I guess," said Catwoman reluctantly. "Hang on. Didn't you and your crew get attacked by a bunch of guys like Scarface and The Ventriloquist last year?"

"Yes," said Batman. "They called themselves The Malevolent Seven.

"Oh, yeah," Catwoman said. "I've heard rumors that the Traylors blew up their lair without any knowledge that they weren't there."

"The rumors are true," said Batman.

Catwoman drew a phone, turned on its built-in camera, recorded, and smiled. "Could you repeat that?"

**The Hog's perspective:**

Becky "The Hog" Traylor said to cousin Daisy Thompson and accountant/lawyer Yuji Takahan, "We take care of our own. Ah want the one who tried to kill Catwoman found within the end of the week, hear?"

"We will," said Daisy. "Ah swear it."

The Hog entered her office to see Catwoman lying on her desk and smiling, phone in hand. "Ain't a good time for jokes," said The Hog.

"Oh, yes, it is," said Catwoman. "I no longer work for you."

"Ah still got leverage over you," said The Hog.

"This is my cue to fight fire with fire," said Catwoman. "Remember when you put together The Malevolent Seven?" she showed The Hog a recording on her phone.

The recording of Batman said, "The rumors are true. The Hog couldn't have known or cared whether any of the archcriminals were in the cabin when she blew it up."

"That's it?" chuckled The Hog. "He ain't got no real name that we know of. That means ain't no way they'll accept that as evidence."

"But what about the crazy-ass hoods in Arkham?" asked Catwoman. "Will they accept it as evidence?"

"What do you mean?" asked The Hog. She knew exactly what Catwoman meant.

"I hope you can sleep with your eyes open," smirked Catwoman getting off the desk.

"Well-played," The Hog smirked in return. "But has it occurred to you that this ain't a fight worth winnin'?"

"Not really," said Catwoman. "I don't appreciate being blackmailed."

"Better for you than jail," said The Hog. "What, you thought that for pullin' yourself away from my family, you'll earn his approval? Hell, no! Let's face it, Catwoman, he's too good for you."

"Don't you have a crush on him yourself?" asked Catwoman.

"Yeah," said The Hog. "Ah hope to get 'im by unmaskin' or otherwise leavin' him with no choice but to have me. You actually court the sumbitch. But he will never love you. How can he? You're one of us. Get comfortable with that."

Suddenly, Catwoman charged and slashed her claws at The Hog's forehead, making three deep scrapes and forcing her down. Catwoman looked like she might kill before saying, "Guess I'm not one of you after all." Instead of finishing the job, she ran out the window.

A bit later, Al was applying medicine to The Hog's wounds. "Should we do her?" he asked.

"Your wife ain't gonna like that," said The Hog playfully. "Kiddin'. We've lost Catwoman, but she ain't a problem She can't kitty us out without exposin' her own crimes. Little Bat has worked with her many times and Ah'd much rather not take them both on at once. Besides, after the operation Ah'm plannin', neither of them will ever be any trouble again!"

**Catwoman's perspective:**

Catwoman went to her new apartment that she had had Sabisia rent for her as she coerced The Hog. There were Batman, Sabisia, and Caesarion.

"C'mon, Caesarion honey," Sabisia got the cougar out of the den to give Batman and Catwoman some privacy.

"I'm free," said Catwoman as she moved close to Batman. But just as they were about to kiss, Batman's right index finger got in the way.

"I'm still not so sure," said Batman.

"I've made it right," said a frustrated Catwoman. "What more do you want?"

"You could have not betrayed me in the first place," said Batman.

Catwoman was angry. "They'd have killed us in our sleep," she reminded Batman.  
What was I supposed to do?"

"Turn to me," offered Batman. "I'd have been glad to help."

"I'd have gone to prison," said Catwoman.

"The Witness Protection Program is not prison," said Batman. "It just requires that you no longer be a thief. And that's the problem isn't it?"

As Catwoman realized where this was going, a tear rolled down her right cheek. Batman didn't seem to care. "You may say we can be together. You may believe it yourself. But at the end of the night, I can't help but think you'll find a way to screw it up again."

Catwoman was hurt. Batman clearly was as well. Though his stone-cold expression didn't show it, there were certain things about it that only a girlfriend would notice. "So I'm just another archcriminal to you now?"

"If only it were that simple," said Batman.

"So we're right back where we started."

"Looks that way."

"Couples that can't commit, either through breakup or taking it to the next level, never end well."

"Doesn't change the facts of the matter."

Batman left. Catwoman was left in her apartment den with many emotions: anger, sorrow, a determination to end this rivalry in her favor, hope that somehow this did not have to end with either a dead Bat or caged Cat. The one thing she was sure about was that inconclusive was how things always ended between The Batman and The Catwoman.


	5. Tragic Comedy

**Bruce's perspective:**

Bruce was eating lunch in his office. No work gave him time to reflect on his current situation. The Batgirl and Robin were still out of action, so it was good that things were quiet.

No big robberies in awhile; violent crime rates were down; no archcriminals were free except the Traylors.

But Bruce wasn't fooled. In Gotham City, it never stayed quiet for long.

**The Joker's perspective:**

The Joker was watching the news in the rec room of Arkham Asylum when he felt Harley Quinn put a hand on his left shoulder and gently push her cheek against The Joker's own.

"I think I need to take a leak," said Harley seductively.

"In a minute," said Joker, causing Harley to sigh in disappointment.

"You care more about that TV than me," sighed Harley.

"Are you criticizing me?" asked The Joker threateningly.

"N-no," Harley quickly said.

"Good."

One of the two newspeople on the TV set said, "Comedy fans will be happy to know that four legends in the art of making us laugh are doing a performance here in Gotham this Saturday: Tim Larry, Teff Wolfhungry, Yellen Degenerate, and B.M. Clark."

The TV cut to Larry who said, "Come to our show. You'll die laughing, unlike a certain Gothamite clown, who'll only make you die!"

An upset Joker threw the remote control at the TV set, shorting it out. _How dare Larry insult my comic genius!_

"Look what you've done," cried a guard.

"So?" asked Joker. "Just squeeze some more tax dollars out of the rubes to replace it."

"That's not the point," said another guard. "We need that TV. Patients need some entertainment to help them on their way to recovery."

"They just said they can't fix the TV," yelled Joker. That was all it took.

The guards tried to calm the mentally unstable patients by saying, "He's lying. He's lying. We'll get a new one tomorrow." But the riot had already begun and would stop for nothing. The Joker and Harley had no trouble escaping; the employees were too busy trying to maintain order to even try to stop them.

"Mistah J?" asked Harley as she drove her boyfriend to Gotham in a stolen car. "What's so important about com'e'dans?"

"Nobody messes with The Clown Prince of Crime's image like that," said The Joker. "Least of all _those _overrated court jesters?"

"I think they're funny," said Harley.

"No accounting for taste," said Joker.

"Speaking of taste," said Harley, "They won't be around for awhile. Meantime, I got another car I wanna ride." She smiled at The Joker.

"I'll be busy making plans," said The Joker.

"Don't flinch against 'B'-Man," complained Harley. "What gives 'im cold..." she stopped talking and appeared to be rethinking the consequences of what she was about to say. "...Never mind."

But The Joker felt a negative feeling inside. It was something he believed he had felt in his dark days of normalcy that he no longer remembered. _Could this be what guilt feels like?_

"Pull over to the dirt," ordered Joker. Harley did so. "Giddy up, cowgirl!"

"Ooh," Harley complied.

**Batman perspective:**

Batman had heard on his police radio in the Batmobile about the escape of The Joker and Harley Quinn, and had spent over two hours of his night looking for evidence of their whereabouts. No luck. The Joker was as cautious as ever. _He's not entirely insane._

Upon returning home, Batman saw Barbara Gordon and Jason Todd in practice gear.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Batman.

"We heard about The Joker and Quinn escaping Arkham again," said Jason. "We're going with you."

"Absolutely not," said Batman. "You're still nowhere near one hundred percent."

"You've never taken the both of them by yourself," said Barbara.

"First time for everything," said Batman.

"But if you can't," asked Barbara, "What then?"

Batman waited for a moment before saying, "You can carry on, right?"

"If either of us could replace you," said Barbara, "You'd let us come."

Batman could not deny that. "It's just dangerous for you."

"Give us a chance," said Jason. "Let us try the obstacle course again. The life we save may be your own."

"You share The Joker's taste for bad jokes," frowned Batman. "All right." He regretted saying that as soon as he did. Barbara and Jason completed the obstacle course with flying colors.

"You two still aren't up to full efficiency," Batman reminded them of the leg wounds that they had recently suffered.

"Uh-uh," Barbara pressed her right index finger against the symbol on Batman's chest. "You promised."

**Tim Larry's perspective:**

It was great to receive a warm welcome in Gotham City! While Tim Larry hadn't gotten a lot of big parts in some time, at least he found no shortage of people who remembered being made to laugh at him many years before.

But even attention-craving comedians needed to eat. He and his fellow performers on stage this week, Teff Wolfhungry, Yellen Degenerate, and B.M. Clark were eating at a restaurant known as Le Grande Haut-Ne, which was French for "The Grand Highborn."

"I prefer being away from common folk who don't know how to properly diet," whispered Yellen.

"I agree," whispered Teff in not nearly as thick a Southern accent as the one he used onstage.

A waitress came to their table with a small package. "This came for you."

"Anyone expecting?" asked Tim. Everyone else shook their heads. Jim therefore expected to find a threatening note inside. Instead, he found four gas masks and a note that read, "Put these on right now!"

The four comedians did so. And a good thing, too! Gas sprayed through the air conditioners and vents, killing just about everyone else.

"If I didn't know any better," said B.M. through his gas mask, "I'd say these poor bastards were smiling."

"Why would I want to know that?" asked a chilled-to-the-bone Yellen.

"Let's split before we're smiling too," suggested Teff. The four left the place quietly to see The Joker, Harley Quinn, and two hired hands armed and waiting.

"Who said I'm a bad comedian?" asked The Joker.

Tim walked forward nervously, if only because the other comedians were literally pointing the finger at him. "It was a terrible accident," said Tim. "I would never do anything to offend a man of your power."

"I think I recognize that line from one o' his movies," recalled Harley.

"Relax," said The Joker, putting an arm around Tim's neck. "I know the perfect way you can make it up to me."

No sooner had he said that when the sound of a police siren could be heard. _Yes! One of those little people working at the restaurant got out while they could and called the police. You're gonna get it now, Smiley!_

"Harley?" cued The Joker. Harley launched a shell with her bazooka at the hood of the police car. The explosion combined with fuel to destroy the car and the two or three officers inside.

"Good girl," complimented Joker, kissing Harley on the cheek. "Now come along, guinea pigs."

"This is the second most undeserving ladies' man I've ever seen," said B.M.

"Who might the first one be?" asked Teff.

"Me."

**Bruce's perspective:**

Promises could be difficult to keep. When you made too many investments or costly business deals, you were tempted to not honor them. But that would be illegal and would cost you the trust of the business community anyway.

Similar to that was Batman's situation with Batgirl and Robin. Bruce's heart said that they still were not ready to fight. But they had met Bruce's agreed-upon requirements for putting on their costumes again. There really was no choice.

By Bruce's next lunch, he realized that The Batman would have to quietly but ardently hope that his young allies had recovered more than they seemed to have.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman and Robin were racing towards the Batsignal, with Batgirl on the Batcycle beside them. "Why so quiet?" asked Robin.

"You know why," said Batman.

"I'm good," promised Robin.

"For your sake," said Batman, "I hope so.

The three Batgrappled up Commissioner Gordon's police station once again. Gordon turned to face them. "You were right, Batman," said Gordon. "After over two years of this, I think I've gotten used to you sneaking up on me. The Joker is at it again."

"Will he ever learn?" asked Batgirl.

"He has fun during these capers," said Batman. "As long as he keeps escaping Arkham, I doubt he cares how things turn out."

"He left a note," said Gordon as he handed the note to Batman.

"'If you ever want to see even one of these comedians alive,'" Batman read out loud, "'come to Mikey's. Any police within five miles and some parents are going from proud to sad.'"

"Let's end the clown's fun," said Robin, pounding his right fist into his left palm.

The three rode to and entered Mikey's. It was a bar. Teff Wolfhungry was bound to a chair behind the bar, trying and failing frantically to say something to his rescuers.

"He's been handed to us on a silver platter," exclaimed Robin.

"Never trust a silver platter," Batgirl moved in front of Robin to stop him.

"I don't like it when it gets too easy either," said Batman. "One side." He lead the other two many steps to the right and threw a Batarang towards the bar a straight line away from Teff, triggering a opening hatch and bazooka shell that almost hit The Caped Crusaders.

Two men stood up behind the bar and put pistols up to the head of Teff. "Take your mask and belts off," one demanded. "Or we'll do the funny hick!"

"Distract them," whispered Batman to Batgirl.

"Don't be stupid," said Batgirl. "You're caught. Shooting him will only make it worse."

"We'd rather take our chances with you than The Joker," said the other.

"He never lasts long," said Robin.

By now, Batman had gotten two Batarangs out of his belt without the hoods becoming wise to him. He threw the Batarangs, disarming the gunmen. Batgirl and Robin immediately charged at the bar, though they remembered not to get within a straight line of Teff until clearing the bar. By the time The Joker's men had retrieved their guns, they had been tackled and disarmed again.

Batman joined his friends behind the bar and took the gag off Teff. "If you were caught right away on your first trip to this town," he joked, "You might be a redneck."

"That's funny the first dozen times you hear it," said Robin.

"OK," Teff took the criticism in stride. "If I couldn't take the critics, I wouldn't be in this business."

Suddenly, the elevated TV sets throughout Mikey's turned on. It was The Joker and Harley Quinn. "I'm as pretty as ever, ain't I?" said Harley.

"Harley," The Joker growled.

"Just makin' sure ya 'preciate me," Harley assured Joker before leaping into his arms.

"It's the wrong guy, but at least she knows that you gotta keep him interested," grinned Batgirl.

"Now," said The Joker, "You've freed one of these hyped-up frauds. Only three to go. Check out the railroad tracks north of town."

"Got a feelin' where we're goin' with this?" asked Harley. She and The Joker both laughed hysterically.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Waiting for the police to confirm that they were coming to arrest the criminals and safeguard the victim was harder for Batgirl than usual. After the three crimefighters left Mikey's, Batgirl gave Robin a noogie.

"Agh," Robin grunted. "What's the big idea?"

"You almost got us killed," said Batgirl.

"But I didn't," Robin argued, which got Batgirl to slam him against he outside wall of Mikey's.

"You think you don't have to listen to us?" yelled Batgirl. "The guy before you made mistakes, but he listened!" _Kid's scared, but he's still not learning. This hurts me more than you._ She slapped Robin across the face. "Next time your ego gets out of control, I'll literally kick you ass!"

"No," Batman finally stepped in and separated them. "Batgirl, you are out of line. Tough love is something he needs. Hurting him will only make it worse. On the Batcycle."

"But..." began Batgirl.

"On," said Batman in a deeper, spookier voice. But Batgirl was somewhat relieved when she heard Batman say to Robin, "She was right about one thing. You're cocky, young man. You almost got us killed. If you can't keep a level head, you can't wear that costume. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," said Robin. _You damn well better mean that, kid!_

The Batmobile and Batcycle followed the railroad tracks north of Gotham on opposite sides of them. Finally, Batgirl could see a woman in the distance. Had to be Yellen Degenerate, no doubt tied to the tracks (it was hard to tell by eye in the dark). Unfortunately, a train was incoming. The engineer might have hit the breaks, but it didn't matter; it took well over a mile to stop the train.

Batgirl picked up the Batcycle's phone to call Batman. "They must have intimidated the engineer or bugged the controls," reasoned Batgirl. "Either way, it's a trap!"

"I know," said Batman. "But what choice do we have?"

"It takes too long to get out of the Batmobile," said Batgirl. "You're not as fast as me and frankly, I don't trust Robin to be level-headed right now. I'm the choice."

"No," said Batman. "You're too young and happy. I'm oldest. Let me."

"Shouldn't the logical choice do it?" asked Batgirl. Batman said nothing. "If I don't make it, tell dad and Jimmy that I love them."

The Batmobile stopped. Its front shield opened. "I'll try to weaken the ropes with a Mini-Batjet. If you don't make it, I'll tell the Commissioner that I saw a madman trying to kill someone and that I wasn't able to save either of you. He won't like it, but it is the truth."

Batgirl saw the Mini-Batjet fly just over Yellen. Batgirl couldn't tell if it had struck the ropes, but she wasn't getting up.

As she neared Yellen, Batgirl leapt off the Batcycle, making sure to push it over with her right boot, so it didn't go anywhere. She ran to Yellen to see that her ropes were cut. She must have been frozen with fear. Batgirl lifted her up and dived away from the tracks just in time to save the both of them from the train.

"You're a real role model for women," Yellen thanked her.

"Y-you're welcome," Batgirl blushed. In time, the train completely passed and Batman and Robin came by.

"Good work, soldier," said Batman.

"What's that on you stomach?" asked Robin to Yellen. It was a pouch. Yellen pulled a note out of it and handed it to Batman.

"'If you're reading this,'" Batman read, "'Worse luck next time. Pier 6, Gotham. You'll be properly prepared pears, all right. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!'"

"What is it with archcriminals and these horrible jokes?" groaned Robin.

"A comedian like me can appreciate the irony of that coming from people with animal gimmicks." The other three looked at her. "OK, I'm calling the police on my cell phone." She did so.

**Batman's perspective:**

"Robin," Batman warned on the way to Pier 6, "Be extra careful tonight."

"If you say so," said Robin.

That was exactly what Batman did not want to hear. "Listen to me, Robin. Tonight's little gauntlet is a sign that The Joker's pulling out all the stops this time! Be extra careful. Surely there's a first time for everything, right?"

They saw the pier. Nothing was out of the ordinary on land, but after a bit of searching, the decided to take a look at the boats with binoculars.

"I see B.M. Clark," said Batgirl. "He's tied up in the inside of that boat." She pointed to one.

Batman say B.M. through the windows. "Then let's go."

They entered the boat, but had to hop back as motorized blades, concealed by gaps in the ceiling, began swinging back and forth. Although Batman, Batgirl, and Robin survived, the swinging blades blocked their path to B.M.

"The blade controls are on the side of the bald, bearded guy who can't keep his hands where they belong around women," said the voice of The Joker. " Three minutes before they launch at him. This has been a recording." That recording concluded with laughter.

"We've got a situation," Batman admitted.

"Do we really?" asked Batgirl, no doubt alluding to B.M's history of sexual misconduct. "Kidding." _I hope so. Not that B.M. is the most sympathetic victim._

"I know what to do," said Robin. "I'm small enough to get under them."

"Too dangerous," said Batman.

"That guy's running out of time," said Robin, referring to a nervous looking B.M. Clark

"So don't waste it with this stupid idea," Batgirl backed Batman up.

"Fine," said Robin before dashing at the blades.

"Robin, no," screamed Batman and Batgirl before Robin slid under the blades.

"See," said Robin as he turned around and looked at his older allies, "I've got..." He was cut off by a blade sticking in his forehead. It had gotten too high. The impact caused the blade to break.

"Robin," screamed Batgirl as she started to run before Batman dragged her down by the cape.

Waving a "Uh-uh" finger at her, Batman said, "He's cleared a path, but we've got to be careful about this." Batman carefully sidestepped through that path, then used the controls to turn off the blades.

"I don't know how you do it," said the voice of The Joker. "Come to the cabin east of here. The dead sailor men inside were strong to the finish, which was yesterday. Toot! Toot! With love, your prerecorded Joker."

Batman took the blade out of Robin's head and tried to stop the bleeding with his cape. "Come on, Robin! Fight!"

Batgirl felt the pulse. With tears in her eyes, she said, "This won't help. He's dead."

Batman sighed and picked Robin up.

"I'm sorry about this," said B.M. to Batgirl slyly. "Maybe I could console you..." he opened his arms.

Kicking B.M. in the groin, Batgirl shouted, "You picked the wrong girl. Least of all now."

As Batman and Batgirl returned to their vehicles, Batman thought on what had happened. Jason Todd, the new Robin, was dead in his mid-teens. _Batgirl was right. I wasn't strict enough with him because I was tired of the arguments. And maybe I confused him with Dick, who listened fast, despite being very mistake-prone until he learned by necessity after I cast him out. Jason wasn't nearly as cooperative, but I didn't adjust accordingly. This is the second time in my life that I have gotten people I love killed._

**Batgirl's perspective:**

As much as Batgirl hated that B.M. Clark tried to make her his next trophy, The Dark Lady didn't think about that very long on the Batcycle.

She was too sad about Jason. She couldn't say she was surprised. She had tried to get the smart aleck in line, but it hadn't worked.

She also had to think how her father, Commissioner James Gordon had always tried to steer her away from a life like this. She hadn't appreciated that. But for the first time, she understood why her father did it. And if little brother Jimmy ever lost his lack of interest in going into law enforcement, Barbara Gordon would remind him.

But none of that meant that she was off the mission. She had created The Batgirl and the identity was hers. She could not walk away from it or her responsibilities. Besides, she wasn't letting The Joker get away with this!

They parked the vehicles outside the cabin. If The Joker wasn't lying - and he took this rivalry too seriously to run from a fight - this was the place.

"Wait," said Batman, putting a hand on Batgirl's shoulder. "You're in the wrong frame of mind."

"I am not," said Batgirl, angrily jerking herself away from Batman.

"We're both upset," said Batman. "But you need to have a level head."

"I understand," recognized Batgirl, trying to calm herself down.

She and Batman entered the cabin through a window. No one was there. There was a circular wall of concrete there. They saw two hyenas, both of which looked at them nervously but fiercely. Batgirl reached for her Batgas.

"No," whispered Batman. "They won't hurt us if we don't make any sudden movements. The Joker's no doubt waiting upstairs. If we don't take them out right away, he'll hear."

"Gotcha," said Batgirl. _Keeping your cool really is important._

But as the two were about to finish climbing the stairs, a sneaky Joker surprised Batman with a boxing glove gun to the jaw, sending him tumbling all the way down. Kicking away the gun and elbowing Joker back, Batgirl began jumping down the stairs. Batman was stunned and groaning in pain.

Suddenly, Batgirl felt stringy restraints that _looked _like party streamers wrapping themselves around her many times, tying her up. "Party hardy," said Harley as she and The Joker rushed down the stairs. As Harley grabbed Batgirl, The Joker manacled Batman's wrists together from behind, then secured his legs with another set of manacles.

"Looks like the kid's invitation got lost in the mail," noted The Joker. Batgirl looked at her with fury. "He didn't make it, did he?" Neither Batman nor Batgirl said anything.

"No use cryin' about it," said Harley. "C'mon!" Batman and Batgirl were dragged back into the center of the living room.

"I wasn't sure how I wanted to do this," admitted Joker, "But you've given me the best idea. I can tell you're both upset about this, so let's play a game."

"Only if it's fair," said Batgirl.

"You don't know her very well," said Batman.

"She sure doesn't," laughed The Joker.

"Don't, Joker," said Batman. "I'm the one you want."

"Not this time," corrected The Joker. "No, this is even better than your demise. You're gonna watch the death of your other young assistant and feel the shame of once again being powerless to stop it."

"Plus," Harley looked at Batgirl furiously, "I haven't forgotten what happened the last time we met. Ivy an' I were about to be the chicks who laid The Bat and Bird - out that is - before you showed up!"

"Happy to disappoint," said Batgirl. Harley fiercely dragged her to the coffee table where there was a fresh wad of meat on a table. Harley hummed as she wiped it on Batgirl's exposed lower face and eye patches, spread blooding and the smell of meat all over these areas.

"Let me guess," said Batgirl. "That's to excite the hyenas."

"Righteroonee," Harley gave her a hug before dragging her to the hyenas and shoving her down. Terror entered Batgirl's mind as she saw the hyenas eyeing her hungrily.

"Chow time, babies," called Harley as the hyenas began attacking.

**Batman's perspective:**

It was truly terrifying to watch Batgirl trying in vain to fight the hyenas off with no more than her legs. She didn't stand a chance. It was happening again.

"Don't worry," chuckled Joker. "You'll be joining her in their bellies soon enough." He began cackling.

What happened then was that something clicked in Batman's heart. Something that told him that he could, had to, and would save Batgirl. With that, he broke both sets of manacles and struck Joker with a wrist manacle, knocking him down. Harley got the same medicine.

Batman had bought himself a little time. It was Batgirl who would need it. She had tried to fight off Bud and Lou with her legs, but their jaws were nearing her face. She panted in desperation and fear at this.

Whacking both hyenas with his broken-off manacles, Batman backed away steadily to one corner of the room. As he had hoped, the hyenas were now growling at him. Soon enough, they charged, but a Batgas pellet took care of them just before they reached him.

Holding his breath and covering his mouth and nose, Batman ran to Batgirl and used a Batarang to free her.

"Thanks," said Batgirl. "How'd you break those manacles."

"Crisis strength," said Batman. "I wasn't going to let them kill you, too."

By now, The Joker and Harley Quinn had recovered. Batman decked The Joker with a right cross and side kick, while Batgirl dealt with Harley with a snap kick to the hip, another to the face, and a headbutt. Both criminals were tied up.

"What are we gonna do with them, Batman?" asked Batgirl.

"We can't put Robin's life above anyone else they've killed," said Batman.

"You should," suggested The Joker. "After all, this may be ending like it usually does, but I got the Brat Wonder, didn't I?" Batman and Batgirl were hurt by that reminder, and The Joker felt emboldened. "I need only a little luck. I'll get you one night. Unless you can work up the nerve. And guess what part of me's hoping for?" He laughed again.

"That other kid in Bludhaven hits your soft spot, doesn't he, Batgirl?" Harley shouted to be heard over her lover's laughter. "Maybe we should vacation there." Batgirl was shaking in quiet rage.

"If you need to blow off some steam..." With that, Batman punched out The Joker. Batgirl did the same to Harley.

"Felt absolutely golden," said Batgirl with rough joy.

The Dark Knight and Lady found Tim Larry upstairs, bound to a bed and gagged. Batman untied him.

"Thanks," said Tim. "If you would let me, I could put in a good word for you in Hollywood."

"Won't be necessary," said Batman.

"It's good to see that you're actually worth saving," said Batgirl.

"Why wouldn't I..." began Tim. "B.M. Gotcha."

**Bruce's perspective:**

The Joker and Harley Quinn had been put away once again. But this time there was no celebration. No good feelings for The Batman and Batgirl. They had paid a heavy price.

The words of the priest addressing the crowd at Jason's funeral gave no comfort. Losing Jason Todd was one thing, but Bruce felt in his heart that he could have stopped it. Memories of Dick Grayson, the first Robin, and now in Bludhaven as Nightwing, had blinded Bruce to Jason's mental issues. Not to mention the fact that he may not have been back to full efficiency after having been stabbed in the knee weeks before.

The ever-insightful Alfred on the drive back to Wayne Manor said to Bruce, Barbara, and a visiting Dick Grayson, "This is the time I have dreaded for more than four years now. What happened to Master Jason could have happened to any of you, any night. To think I actually hoped this would never come pass."

"I've come close more times than I'd like to admit," agreed Dick.

"No, it's my fault. I knew he was getting more and more cocky..."

"Don't blame yourself," Bruce interjected. "It's not your fault. You tried to warn me on more than one occasion. I don't want you to believe that the loss of Jason Todd is on you."

Bruce thought for a seconds before saying, "It's on _me_. I took him in. Let him take Dick's old spot. I'm responsible. What's worse, I saw him getting reckless on the night of the mission and let him continue on the mission. If I hadn't, he'd still be alive."

"I may not know everything about the mission," said Dick, "But I know you did your best by him."

"My best wasn't good enough."


	6. Uncool and Uncollected

_Note: Christie Whitlock is an original creation of mine who was a simultaneous opponent and lover of Bruce Wayne. Because they couldn't fully work out their differences, Christie left town. This will be her first appearance since my original Batman: Defender of Gotham fic. Check out my profile for that._

**Bruce's perspective:**

Bruce was at work, but with Jason Todd dead, it was very difficult to focus on things like expenditures or new findings from the scientific department. It was almost welcoming when Bruce heard his phone ring.

"Hello?" asked Bruce.

"Bruce..." began Christie Whitlock, a former girlfriend of Bruce's that he hadn't seen in almost two years, though they had kept in touch. "...I heard about Jason. I'm so sorry!"

Christie knew that Bruce Wayne and The Batman were the same man. She also knew that the government listened in on some calls. That was the reason for her indirect language.

"Yes," said Bruce. "He was very, very, smart. Why do you ask?"

"Are you holding up well?" asked Christie. "What you do, you can't afford to be emotionally unwell. A lot of people depend on you. That's what I mean."

"Of course, it is," said Bruce, knowing full well that Christie meant Bruce's dangerous double life as Batman. "It's hard to get over this when it's your fault."

"Don't be ridiculous," Christie dismissed Bruce's fault out of hand.

"I had been warned that Jason had an ego problem that threatened to get him killed. But I was used to level-headed Dick, so I ignored the signs. I failed Jason."

"Listen," Christie said softly. "You don't have to be at liberty to tell me everything for me to know that you couldn't possibly have failed him in your heart. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"You really think I'm too hard on myself?" asked Bruce.

"Haven't changed a bit," said Christie. "You have a very male unwillingness to face your emotional problems. If you ever fired that butler... if you're ever in this kind of situation, know that you don't have to go through it alone."

"Thank you," said Bruce. "Good bye."

"I hope you can find a way to be happy again," said Christie before hanging up.

Bruce sighed. _"Be happy again?" I haven't been happy since my parents died. I lost them as a child to a murderer. Christie can't know what that's like. Even my ally, Batgirl, can't. Nightwing can, but that means that he knows that those feelings of anger, sorrow, guilt, and helplessness can't be turned off like a cell phone._

_But she's right about one thing. I have to find a way to work through this. Or I'll most assuredly fail again!_

**Killer Croc's perspective:**

The human crocodilian, Waylon Jones, better known as Killer Croc, had been through a rough patch.

Being part of The Malevolent Seven may have nearly wiped out Gotham City's defenders, but Croc had even less to show for it than you might assume. He had a terrible temper yet functioned well enough as a member of a team. Since that temper was the justification for his being ruled too insane to be in a real prison, he was taken back to court and was now a year into his sentence in Blackgate Pen, only forty-nine to go.

No sympathy for you from the guards if you were in control of the decision to turn to crime. It didn't help that Croc was a fairly rich pro wrestler before he killed a promotor for no better reason than that Croc was booked to lose his championship belt. Not to mention his monstrous appearance. So he served hard, hard time, complete with much worse food than was served in Arkham.

But Croc's fortunes were about to take a turn for the better. As he sat down in the cafeteria to get his, the eating of terrible goop over with, Croc noticed that the room had gone crazy! The slinging of food everywhere quickly escalated into brawls. Croc's ship had come in.

He charged out. Although incapable of going fast, he was still difficult to stop when too many of the guards were otherwise occupied by the rioters. Not to mention that as he was part crocodile, he had the strength of ten men!

Eventually, he got out. By this time, he had stolen a guard's gun and used the bullets inside to shoot his reinforced chains. This enabled him to get them off so he could flee into the ocean that surrounded the island prison.

"Mr. Jones," called the lead guard on a boat sent after Croc, "We have a boat. Surrender. You can't stay underwater long enough to escape."

But in reality, Croc surfaced only upon reaching the Gotham beach. Another gift of his so-called disease.

Thinking was not Croc's strong suit, yet he felt that he should make an exception. He had been defeated twice before. To gain the third and final victory, he could use help. Of course, with his strength, this was not a problem.

**Barbara's perspective:**

"Why does he keep blaming himself?" Barbara Gordon asked Alfred as he was cooking dinner.

"Master Bruce blames himself for what he leaves in the toilet," said the humorous Alfred. "The last thing he needed was to lose Master Jason."

"Should I keep an eye on him tonight?" asked Barbara with concern.

"Yes," said Alfred. "He can't be anywhere near one hundred percent, mentally speaking."

"I'll pay atten..." began Barbara.

"Are you coming or not?" demanded Bruce. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Yeah," said Barbara. _Hope he didn't hear us._

**Batman's perspective:**

It was business as usual at night. Alfred and Batgirl may have believed that he had let the death of Jason get to him, but to Hell with sorrow. Crime waited for no mourning process.

"Your father's calling," Batman noted the Batsignal as the Batmobile sped towards Gotham.

"Want me to handle this?" asked Batgirl.

"Absolutely not," Batman refused. "You can't let him get too good a look at you, or he'll recognize you as his daughter." Batman thought he shouldn't say anything about Batgirl and Alfred's concern. After all, Batman would feel precisely the same way about either of them.

Batgrappling up to the roof of GCPD HQ, Batman said, "Hello again, Commissioner," behind Commissioner James Gordon's back, startling him once again.

Gordon stared at Batman for a few moments, then said, "Killer Croc is on the loose."

"How?" asked Batman.

"Blackgate is an island prison," said Gordon. "For most criminals that leaves it almost escape-proof. But for a gator man like Croc, the fact that there's miles of water to get anywhere helped him escape."

"Any leads?" asked Batman.

Gordon shook his head. "No such luck. He hasn't even done anything wrong since escaping yesterday."

"Odd," said Batman. "He can't get any of his money without drawing attention to himself. And he's not much of a planner."

"Understatement," grinned Gordon.

"I'll check into this," promised Batman.

Upon returning to the Batmobile, Batman said, "It's Killer Croc."

"Oh, boy," said Batgirl. "Any clues?"

"No," said Batman. "In fact, he's being uncharacteristically patient. No crimes in more than a day."

"Might as well go after that that chop shop we'd found," said Batgirl.

"Agreed."

They went there. They saw hoods ripping out the parts of stolen cars, presumably to be sold later, from a window above.

"Looks like we've come to the right place," whispered Batgirl.

"Quiet," said Batman.

They ambushed the gang after taking care of a few men. It was then that the remaining enemies drew their guns, so The Dark Knight and Lady shielded themselves with their capes until the clips and magazines were empty.

Some more punching and kicking, and the job was done.

"What the Hell do you want with us?" said one of them. "We're just tryin' to sell shit."

"At the expense of people who need their cars," said Batman. "Suppose you cause someone to miss a day of work and get him or her fired. What if you cause that person's family to starve because of that?"

The man hesitated before saying, "I never thought of that."

"Exactly," said Batman, balling up his fists. "You weren't thinking." He was about to inflict more pain when Batgirl grabbed his wrists from behind.

"No," said Batgirl. "We've got them. We don't need to hurt them any more."

On the drive away from the chop shop, Batgirl said, "Maybe you should start drinking more coffee."

"I'm fine," insisted Batman. But he knew that he wasn't.

**Killer Croc's perspective:**

Croc was just out of town. Since The Batman only seemed to protect Gotham, Croc figured he was safe in the small towns outside of city limits. He entered a bar. Some sober patrons got up to leave at the sight of him. Blocking the doorway, Croc roared, "Sit down!" The patrons did so.

"Don't you dare call the cops," Croc yelled at the bartender, who had picked up his phone. He pocketed it again.

"Here's the deal," said Croc. "I'm gonna kill The Batman and pick Gotham clean. Wanna make a lotta money helpin' me?" Some people nodded. Others just stared at him in fear.

"Some nonbelievers," grinned Croc as he walked over to the bar and lifted the bartender over his head and began spinning him around. Everyone was impressed. Setting the bartender down, Croc squeezed his head with both hands. Crackling could be heard as Croc slowly crushed the head. "Wanna join me or him?"

"You're the boss," someone immediately said nervously.

"Amen," added the others.

_Then Batman's wings are as good as clipped!_

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman and Batgirl had not found anything on Killer Croc the prior night, but they really hadn't expected to find him on the first night. After all, he hadn't seemed to have done anything but break out of Blackgate. But the next morning and afternoon passed. No sign of him.

"Maybe he decided to stay out of trouble," suggested Batgirl on the way to Gotham.

"Not a chance," said Batman. "He's very bitter about defeats. Besides, he's broke because he can't get the money he saved during his wrestling days without getting arrested. He doesn't have enough accessible money to eat. Sooner or later, he has to either cause problems or turn himself in. And we both know which choice he'll make."

Fifty-seven minutes and a couple foiled crimes later, Batman's police radio alerted him and Batgirl to a bank robbery. It was two men in hunter's caps and plaid shirts.

"Country folk," identified Batgirl. "Has The Hog made the one mistake that'll enable us to nail her?"

"She's more careful than that," said a skeptical Batman. "But we'll see."

Using the Batmobile's Batnavicomputer, Batman tracked down the car speeding towards the edge of town, and hooked it into place with his own car's power winch.

"Be careful," he thought he should warn Batgirl. "Country people can be very good shots."

"The nephew of the fat woman got me with a net launcher once," said Batgirl. "I know."

These opponents did indeed prove to be better shots than the average pair of street punks. But they were no match for The Dark Knight and Lady.

"Who are you working for?" asked Batman. "Becky 'The Hog' Traylor?"

"No," said one in the accent of the nearby countryside, not the South. "I don't even know who that is."

"Then who?" asked Batgirl.

"Some big green guy," said the other. "Looks like one of the _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_."

"Where?" asked Batman.

"He found us in a bar northwest of town."

That was too vague. "Where 'Northwest of town?'" he shouted. The criminals were thinking.

"Where?!" Batman yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Gladys Street, I think," said the first one, thinking fast.

"Are you his only accomplices?"

"No."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Batgirl thought that how Batman handled those criminals was not his very best performance. First he had screamed full blast at them and looked like he was ready to badly hurt them. Then the lighting of the inside of the Batmobile enabled Batgirl to see that one of the "ears" of Batman's cowl had been shot off by the rifleman he had tackled. Just an inch lower...

"Batman," said Batgirl. "I think you should consider a vacation." For several seconds, she got no answer. "Batman?"

"I considered it," said Batman half-heartedly. "I'm staying on the case."

Batgirl had to explain why she suggested that Batman sit this one out. "OK, here it is. You're not up your own standards. First you got an 'ear' shot off, then you might've gone too far if the hood hadn't suddenly remembered."

"And why would I not be up to speed?" asked Batman.

"With all due respect," Batgirl chose her words carefully, "I think you haven't recovered from what happened to Jason."

"It's your imagination," said Batman. "What's the alternative, anyway? We've got a super strong criminal on the loose. And he's not alone this time. This is too much for you to handle alone."

He had a point there, but Batman could be emotionally prepared, even on short notice. "Stop the car and let's talk. I can help you work through your problems."

"I'm fine," Batman again insisted.

_Guys! Can't admit weakness, especially to a girl._

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman and Batgirl entered the bar on Gladys Street. There was a sign labeled, "Closed until further notice."

_Looks like we've come to the right place._

Inside were Killer Croc and a bunch of human men.

"If it ain't my old 'friend' Bats and his chick," said Croc. "Get 'em!"

Croc's allies charged. Batman and Batgirl began dispatching their opponents. After a few had been knocked out, Batman felt a punch knock him through the bar wall. Croc continued after Batman.

"Need a hand?" yelled Batgirl.

"I can handle this," said Batman, knowing that Batgirl had her hands full already. Batman also hoped that one other reason wasn't prideful denial that emotions concerning Jason's death weren't affecting him. He got up and backed away from Croc.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this," said Croc, pounding his right hand into his left.

"You'll have to wait awhile later," said Batman. He had used some sleight-of-hand to grip a gas pellet without alerting Croc. But when Batman threw it, it went wide left of Croc and exploded well out of range.

"Where're you aimin'?" laughed Croc. Batman had an idea. His teeth were grinding. He had lost control of his emotions and, by proxy, the gas pellet.

Croc charged. Batman tried to block the incoming punch. Batman remembered that Croc was too strong to be allowed to make contact too late to keep from getting his arm hurt. A left hook across the chin after that floored Batman. He was placed in a head lock that left him dizzy within seconds.

"You're losin' it," gloated Croc. He dragged Batman into the bar. Half the bar toughs were unconscious. The others were surrounding Batgirl and playing it carefully. Batgirl didn't want to make the next move, which might be the next mistake. Neither did any of her adversaries.

"Give it up," said Croc, holding Batman by the head with both hands. "Or it comes off."

"Don't," said Batman. "It's my fault. Save yourself." But Batgirl had already raised her arms.

Batman and Batgirl were placed in back-to-back chairs and tied together. One of Croc's men shocked himself into unconsciousness trying to take off their belts without first putting in the combination. "Dumbass," said Croc.

"You could've warned us," said another goon. Croc responded by breaking his neck.

"Just get the oil," said Croc.

A ring of oil was poured around the chairs. "Burn in Hell," taunted Croc as he dropped a lit match to surround The Dark Knight and Lady with a circle of fire.

After Batgirl heard the door shut she said, "At least they didn't unmask us."

"We're not dealing with bright light," explained Batman. "Of course, that won't matter if we don't get out of this chair before the flames spread to us."

"I'm not much of an escape artist," admitted Batgirl. She added pointedly, "Since you haven't gotten out of your ropes yet, I'm guessing that like I said, you're not yourself."

"Try not to enjoy yourself in the face of death too much," said Batman, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate. He succeeded in blocking out any thoughts but getting out of the ropes. Six seconds later, he was free of them. Because this loosened them, Batgirl had no trouble freeing herself as well.

"Capes are fireproof," reminded Batman. "We use them to cover ourselves as we go through the flames." It worked. Both crimefighters made it through the flames unsinged.

Still, by the time they got all eight of Croc's unconscious men out, along with the one he had killed, the flames were spreading. "I'm calling the Fire Department," said Batman. "After that, we only need to follow one set of tire tracks leading out of here."

As the Batmobile neared the three cars, Batman opened the front shield and drove beside the cars so he and Batgirl could use Batarangs to flatten the tires. The Batmobile sped a good distance from the emptying cars before Batman turned it around and hit the brakes.

"I don't know how you survived," growled Croc, "But I ain't leavin' nothin' to chance this time! Gnash 'em!"

With patience and skill, Batman and Batgirl were able to dispatch Croc's remaining men. Then Croc himself grabbed Batman by the throat. As Batman felt air leaving him, Croc delivered a kick to Batgirl's abs that knocked her distance away and into a sitting postition.

Batman was being choked and tried a knee to the groin. Croc grunted in pain but smiled and choked even harder.

Then Croc released Batman. It was Batgirl striking Croc in the head with her Batgrapple, creating a trickle of blood on the side of his head that actually looked human. As Batman wheezed on the ground, Batgirl challenged Croc, "You want some more?"

"In Tampa," said Croc, "We're taught ta treat ladies with respect. Even Batgirls. Run away."

"Here's what I think of that 'chivalry,'" Batgirl said, firing her Batgrapple again. It almost knocked Croc out, but that "almost" meant a lot. For Croc managed to grab the line soon enough that when Batgirl retracted it, Croc's head collided with hers at a high speed, knocking her several meters back. Batgirl was too winded to get up.

"I'm a gentleman," said Croc. "I'll let you live to cry over a body." He began walking towards Batman. "Guess whose body that is?"

At less than half strength, Batman threw some Batarangs at Croc. All were easily deflected. Batman tried to escape into the forest where he could use the trees to hide and snipe, but Croc caught up, dragged him down by the cape, and delivered four punches that left Batman in even worse shape than Batgirl.

"Disappointin'," said Croc. "Force you assholes into a straight fight, and I can whip both your asses at once!" He lifted Batman above his head and threw him at a tree. Batman heard a crushing sound as he hit the tree and fell to the ground.

_Wait! That may be our big break. The tree has been unbalanced a tad. Wouldn't have realized this before I had to clear my head of the Jason distraction back at the bar. Now's not the time for soul-searching._

He got behind the tree and pushed with all he had left.

"Desperate," roared Croc in laughter. "I thought it was The Joker who tried to prank people. You ain't strong enough for this." He apparently hadn't been smart enough to think anything of the sound the tree made as Batman hit it. Sure enough, it came all the way down on Croc!

That had taken all the strength Batman had left, leaving him on the ground. He wanted to get the tree off Croc. Just too sore and tired.

Finally, Batgirl recovered from her own beating well enough to come by. "Help Croc," commanded Batman.

As Batgirl used all her strength to get the tree off Croc, she said, "You do know he wanted to kill you, right?"

"That's him, not me," explained Batman.

Nearly an hour later, Croc and his men had been arrested by local police. "Listen, Batman," said Batgirl apologetically, "About what I said to you..."

"Don't be sorry," said Batman. "You were right. I _wasn't_ in the right frame of mind."

"But you came through in the end," Batgirl held out her hand. Batman shook it. "What now?"

"We're too beat-up to continue patrolling," said Batman.

"You know, Jason will never totally die as long as we remember him."

"I know."


	7. Mystery Opponent, Surprise Guest

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Batgirl was happy. Bruce Wayne had been expected to attend a local conference that included every business leader in town. Bruce, of course didn't want that to get in the way of the stakeout Batman and Batgirl were doing, but after intense arguing (and a snappy limerick made up by Bruce to Lucius Fox, who overheard some of it), Batgirl had convinced Bruce to let her do the stakeout herself.

From a windowsill a few stories up, Batgirl was watching Al, the #2 person in the South Carolina-born Traylor crime family, make a transaction with two representatives of a drug cartel from a nearby rooftop. _Clever. Hands over lips. Codes and indirect innuendos that even we don't know. Looks like another dead end in our hunt for the Traylors. At least I..._

Then a bullet hit Al's left shoulder. He was a healthy enough gangster to run, albeit while screaming in pain. The next shot completely missed. Al entered his car and drove away. The mystery assassin seemed to cut his losses, because the next two shots killed the gangsters Al had been dealing with instead.

"Let the Traylor family beware," called a deep, fierce voice. "The Magistrate has found it guilty."

Batgirl looked around. This new player was a man in the black robe of a judge. He also had long white hair and a matching beard, most likely a disguise to obscure his identity.

Batgirl drew her Batgrapple, intending to pursue this "Magistrate" character now that all his enemies were dead, or so he thought.

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

Commissioner James Gordon was working on paperwork when he got a call. _Most likely another marketing scam._

"Hello, Gordon," called a deep voice. It sounded just a bit unlike Batman.

"Hello, yourself," said Gordon. "If you're sick, go ahead a take a few days off. Or knowing you, just ignore me."

"I would focus on giving the girl a proper burial," said caller.

Every emotion Gordon had fired up! "Whoever you are, if you've harmed my daughter..."

"Of course not! Just The Batgirl. Trace this call. It will lead you to her dead body. Let this be a warning to all who impede the vengeance of The Magistrate! I'm going after the Traylors. Stay out of my way. Understand?" The caller hung up.

Police phones, of course, were set to automatically trace calls. Upon seeing where the call came from Gordon picked up his communicator to call Detective Harvey Bullock.

"Yeah, Commish?" answered Bullock.

"You and Montoya have a rescue and maybe search and apprehend mission. I've reason to believe that The Batgirl is dead. But don't give up on her yet. The location is 279 Brenwick Street. Repeat: 279 Brenwick Street. Got that?"

"Yeah," said a heavy-hearted Bullock. "The Bat-Freak's gonna be crushed!"

"Let me worry about that," said Gordon. "Your job is to help her if you can and find her attacker, if possible. He calls himself The Magistrate."

"I'm on it, Commish," Bullock hung up.

This was a shocking night! Batgirl possibly dead? It would be tragic if she had died in the call of duty when she had barely even become a woman. But what was she thinking putting on that suit at this age? Gordon knew _his _daughter had more sense than that!

**Detective Bullock's perspective:**

Bullock came down from the building with The Magistrate's phone.

"The good news," said Bullock, "Is we got the mysterious son of a bitch's phone. The bad news is it seems stolen. Least someone won't have to eat a hundred bucks."

"The bleeding hasn't started back up," Montoya said for her part. "But it probably has even to do with her toughness and armored mask than anything we did."

"'Fore the ambulance gets here," said Bullock, "How 'bout we see who she really is?"

"I think we should respect her privacy," objected Montoya.

"I ain't askin' ya to think, Montoya," said Bullock. "I'm the superior officer. If I say we unmask..."

"Not anymore," corrected Montoya. "I'm a Detective now, remember? We're equal in rank. And I say we trust her and Batman. Therefore, let them keep their secrets."

"You're no fun," Bullock growled like a beaten dog.

"Look," said Montoya, "It's not like we take it off and she's the Speaker of the House or something. She's probably just the bartender who beats up drunks who can't keep their hands to themselves."

"Guess you're right," laughed Bullock. "She's nobody."

**Bruce's perspective:**

In between speeches, Bruce had met Jack Drake, owner of a store called Drake's. Bruce was most impressed by him. They were well on their way to a business partnership.

To Bruce's surprise, Jack had brought his thirteen-year-old son, Tim. "Can we have a private word in your car?" asked Tim.

"Sorry," declined Bruce. "I'm expected."

"What's the hurry, Batman," whispered Tim.

"You must have mistaken me for someone else," said Bruce. Tim smiled, so Bruce said, "In the car we go."

Once they entered, Bruce said to the chauffeur, "What we have to say is business." The chauffeur left.

When he was a distance away, Bruce looked hard at Tim and said, "Three million dollars and you pretend you don't know."

"I don't want money," said Tim.

"Then what?" demanded Bruce. He needed to keep his secret identity a secret. There was almost always at least one archcriminal on the loose. He couldn't enable that one to wait for him to sleep.

"You're my idol," said Tim. "In a way, you feel more like a father figure to me than my father, since his work takes priority over me. I researched Batman. His stuff is expensive. He's gotta be rich. He's also gotta be over six feet tall. After years of study, I'd narrowed it down a bit. Wasn't long before I got to you. You can tell dad had me raised to be a Hell of a smart businessman someday."

Bruce nodded. "You still haven't explained what you want from me."

"Just let me visit on Saturday," said Tim. "Hey, that's tomorrow."

"So it is," said Bruce. "See you then." He had no real choice. What was he going to do? Kill Tim to protect his secret? With the heart of a hero, Batman couldn't do that.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Batgirl awakened in an ambulance. It felt like she had been shot in the head, although her mask had saved her. That mask was still on, so her secret was safe. She had no desire that spend the night in the Emergency Room, so she jumped through the window and began running and swinging back to the Batmobile. Just what she and Batman needed: a new archcriminal.

**Barbara's perspective:**

"Sure you're alright?" asked Bruce after Barbara had filled him in on everything at Wayne Manor

"Yeah," said Barbara.

"The I'll make sure it stays that way by... it can wait." Bruce ascended the stairs to shower and sleep.

Barbara began thinking of something. "Alfred?" she asked the Wayne butler. "This is going to sound crazy and offensive."

"I know you well enough to know you to be trustworthy and reasoned, Madam Barbara," said Alfred. "Well, other than the costume part."

Frowning, Barbara said, "You've been warned. I'm afraid..." Her mouth was suddenly dry.

"Yes?" asked Alfred.

Barbara had to say it: "I think Bruce probably isn't The Magistrate, but may be."

Alfred was shocked. "At least you warned me, Madam."

"The Magistrate," explained Barbara, "Has a deep voice not that unlike the one Bruce uses as Batman. And he's got the most solid motive of any suspect. After all, we've been trying to catch them for years without success. And Becky 'The Hog' Traylor's after him if you get my meaning."

Alfred smiled. "Surely there are others."

"No," said Barbara. "The mob bosses she destroyed have settled into the West Coast or Midwest. Only Riko Dimiquens might jeopardize what his family has regained, and he's dead at The Hog's hands. There's that message sent to the others, too. Batman's the top suspect. Believe me, I hate saying this, but Dad taught me a long, long time ago, to explore all possibilities, no matter what! 'The only wrong guesses are those you overlook.'"

"I understand all that," said Alfred. "But I don't think the Master is capable of this."

"You don't have to think he is," said Barbara with determination. "Only Batgirl does."

**Tim's perspective:**

Alfred had driven Tim to the Wayne Manor grounds.

_To think that The Batman lives in the sticks. No wonder nobody in Gotham City has found who he is! They've been looking in the wrong place._

"So how long have you been his butler?" asked Tim.

"Between him and his late parents," said Alfred, "Nearly forty years. Tell me, young Timothy, how did you come to discover his secret? I was beginning to think he had the world fooled."

"What about the al Ghul family?" asked Tim, referring to the megalomaniacal old man Ra's and his more moral daughter, who was still taking care of, and keeping him out of trouble.

"Besides them," said Alfred. By this time, they were in the house.

"I only know because..." he paused to reconsider his statement. "...Would you believe because I'm an obsessed fan?"

"Yes, I would," grinned Alfred. "Why else do you think I work for a madman who thinks every day is Halloween?"

"I heard that," said Bruce. "Hello again, Tim."

"Hi," said Tim. "Why don't you test my reflexes?"

"If you're thinking of partnering with me..."

"Just want to see how I measure up."

Tim lasted three blows before he was struck.

"Not bad," Bruce admitted.

"But you used no power behind that punch," said Tim.

"Or you'd be on the ground," said Bruce. "You have a level head. The two Robins I lost never had that. No point intended."

**Jimmy Gordon's perspective:**

Young Jimmy Gordon was playing football with some friends of the same age. This went on for awhile before they were all sore.

"You're quittin'?" asked Roddy Griffith, a large (everybody assumed that he would reach two hundred eighty pounds by eighteen) and black teenager. "You guys suck."

"Look," said Jimmy. "We're not all dead-set on trying out for the football team next grade."

"Roddy," added another kid, Cody. "You may find it hard to believe, but some people think of football as a game, not our whole goddamn lives!"

"Me," said Drew, a gangly kid in glasses, "I don't even like this game. I'm only doing it because Roddy thinks it's payback for when I helped him study for that test."

"Damn straight it is," said Roddy. "I got ya outta the house for once." A bunch of other kids laughed. "Maybe now you know that sunlight's a damn good thing! You won't tell mom and dad about my cussin' will you?"

Jimmy got on his bike and was peddling home when a shot hit his front wheel, causing him and his bike to fall. Jimmy ran for several steps when he was lifted up. "You wanna stay alive, you do as Becky 'The Hog' says, Yankee boy," commanded a Southern voice.

It took Jimmy one second to realize that he was being kidnapped for being the Police Commissioner's son. It took him another to faint.

**Barbara's perspective:**

Barbara was called to Wayne Manor, but not before being informed of Tim Drake and the fact that he knew that Bruce Wayne and The Batman were the same man.

"You must be The Batgirl," said Tim.

"If you guessed Bruce's secret," smiled Barbara, "It figures you'd have an idea of mine." They shook hands.

Barbara found herself liking this kid. While Dick Grayson had an inclination towards rash action and Jason Todd was a cocky little brat, Tim seemed level-headed. He might actually be able to last as Robin if Bruce would accept another after what happened to Jason.

Come dusk, the three-way conversation was still going on. "Bruce told me he and Dick were driven by tragedy," said Tim. "What about you, Babs?"

"Nothing really happened to me," said Barbara. "Dad taught me to value justice. He wouldn't let me join the police force, so I put on a costume."

"You don't seem like the guy who'd give her permission to join you," Tim said to Bruce.

"Who said I did?" asked Bruce. "But I can't force her to quit, so we made the best of things."

"Don't think he didn't try to force me out," said Barbara with pride, "But I proved my worth."

This discussion was broken up by the whistle of Alfred. "Sirs, Madam." Alfred pointed out a window to show the Batsignal.

"Sorry, Tim," apologized Bruce. "Duty calls." He began walking towards the locked door to the stairs leading to the Batcave.

"Not so fast," said Barbara, grabbing him by the wrist tightly. "I can't put this off any longer. Are you The Magistrate?"

"Why the Hell would I be him?" asked a surprised Bruce.

"Good question," said Tim.

Ignoring the boy, Barbara said, "The Magistrate targeted Al Traylor. We can't seem to catch his sister and boss _and _she's been after you for years. The icing on the cake: despite her godawful figure, I think you have a little feeling for her that you keep fighting back. I don't like it either, Bruce, but you're the top suspect in this case."

Bruce showed not a hint of anger. "There's a certain logic to your suspicions."

"Come again?" asked Barbara.

"I'm saying your theory is sound," clarified Bruce.

"I know," said Barbara. "But I practically accused you of double murder. And trying to kill _me_!"

"Just the same, you have a point," conceded Bruce once again. "But look into my eyes. I am scary, even rough. But I would never kill. I swear on the souls of my dead parents and foster son!"

Bruce seemed sincere. "Alright," said Barbara. "But don't expect Batgirl to turn her back on you. Understand?"

**Tim's perspective:**

It had been a few minutes since Batman and Batgirl had left and Tim was already worried sick. "TV?" asked Alfred.

"Not at a time like this," said Tim.

"On the contrary," argued Alfred. "This is precisely when you need work or entertainment. I learned long ago that agonizing on whether Master Bruce was dead or alive for as often as I had the reason is unhealthy, let alone for a man my age."

"Do you actually think he's the bad guy this time?" asked Tim. He figured that Alfred would never admit to this possibility. He was in for a surprise.

"Master Bruce has confided to me that he doesn't expect to live to a ripe old age in this line of work," said Alfred. "But I have also long worried about how his principles could hold together. He could have responded to his parents' murders with uncontrollable anger. He could have even been driven to madness. He didn't, and thank God for that!"

"But," Alfred continued, "That he hasn't doesn't mean he never will."

"You believe Barbara?" asked Tim.

"I'm not saying that... necessarily," said Alfred.

"This is as good as it gets, isn't it?" guessed Tim.

"No," said Alfred. "Follow me." Tim followed Alfred upstairs into his room. Out of the costume was a fresh Robin suit made for a teenage boy. He held it out. "If you want to help..."

"I do," said Tim bravely. "If Batman turns on Batgirl, she'll need help. If not, they may still need help."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

No words were exchanged during the drive to GCPD HQ. Batgirl knew that this was was not going to be a fun mission, and not just because she and Batman had nothing to say to each other this time. Betrayal seemed fairly likely.

But a part of Batgirl longed to tell Batman how sorry she was. In her heart she could never believe Batman was a killer.

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

The elder Gordon felt helpless. His son had been kidnapped and the only clue was a note he'd found in his office telling him:

You want to get your son back _and_  
destroy the Traylors? Send The Bat  
to the basement of Country Buffet.  
Repeat: the basement.

Signed, The Magistrate.  
Late note: I know Bitchgirl  
survived. Make sure she goes, too.

"You called?" asked Batman from behind the elder Gordon, Bullock, and Montoya. Bullock and Montoya had wanted to be at this meeting to be sure Batgirl, who had fled the ambulance, truly survived.

"For you," Gordon panted as he clutched his heart with one hand and held out the note from The Magistrate with the other.

The Dark Knight and Lady were in bad moods that only got worse as they read the note. Batgirl seemed especially infuriated by the case.

"We'll get him back," vowed Batman.

"That's a promise," said an even more determined Batgirl.

"They're upset about something," said Montoya.

"Good," said Bullock. Off the surprised looks of Gordon and Montoya, Bullock added, "Shows they're human."

"Took you longer to figure that out than me," said Gordon. Batman may not have been a people person, but he was a person nonetheless.

**Jimmy's perspective:**

The last several hours had been the scariest of Jimmy's life! Every moment he sat tied to a chair and blindfolded in a basement felt like it could be his last.

_No wonder Dad won't let me or Babs get into law enforcement._

"You wanna stay alive?" a Southern voice asked.

"Uh-huh," said a scared Jimmy.

"Then do as The Hog says, ya hear?"

So, that was it. Gotham City's core crime boss had kidnapped him to get leverage over his father. The good news was that Jimmy wasn't going to die. He was the key to the Traylors taking over the GCPD.

The bad news was how was Jimmy going to live with having done that to his father or city.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

"I'm sorry," said Batgirl with guilt as the Batmobile sped uptown. "I've been accusing you all night and I was wrong."

"How do you figure?" asked Batman.

"You couldn't have kidnapped Barbara Gordon's brother because you've been talking to Alfred and Tim all day," explained Batgirl

"Good deduction," said Batman. "Don't feel bad. Didn't you tell me that your father taught you to consider all possibilities?"

"'The only wrong hunch is one you don't check out,'" quoted Batgirl, feeling better. "And speaking of which, I've my doubts that the Traylors are behind this, as The Magistrate claims."

"Agreed," said Batman. "Even if he hadn't been after the Traylors to make this tip of his suspicious, this is totally out of character for Becky "The Hog" Traylor. She's a true Southern woman. She loves family, children, and has a strong, however twisted, sense of honor. I don't think she's any more guilty of kidnapping than I am.**"**

"Then who is?" asked Batgirl. "The Magistrate, duh."

"Most likely," said Batman. "But I know for sure what the real name of the kidnapper is either way."

"Who?"

"The Traylors' worst enemy."

"But you didn't do it... right?"

"First things first. Let's get your brother back."

"What if they won't give him up?"

"Then they're kidnappers after all."

**The Hog's perspective:**

The five-foot-eight, two hundred fifty three pounds of muscle queenpin of Gotham's underworld, Becky "The Hog" Traylor, was running a meeting with the rest of the family leadership when her phone rang. "'Scuse me," she said, taking the call.

"Legal advice from The Magistrate," said a deep voice on the other end. "Check your basement. Lots of rats in town lately. I mean besides you." The Magistrate hung up.

"Who was that?" asked Yuji Takahan, the family lawyer.

"Ain't got no idea," said The Hog. "Al, Joey, check the cellar. Ah think somethin's rottin' the fields of the farm."

Not ten minutes had passed when The Hog's brother and nephew returned with tense looks. "Sis," said Al. "You gotta come with us right damn now!"

"Yeah," said Joey. "We've been left with..." Al's hand came over his lips.

"How many times have Ah gotta tell you to think before you speak, boy?"

"Lord knows," said The Hog. She lead Al and Joey down to the basement.

The Hog's jaw dropped when she saw Jimmy Gordon tied to a chair and blindfolded.

"You know," said Jimmy. "I can still hear. You gonna keep walking around trying to scare me - and doing a great job of it - you can least feed me. I'm hungry. My dad would feed you in jail. Just saying."

"What idiot kidnapped Gordon's boy without tellin' anybody and left him in the first place they'll look?" demanded The Hog to Al and Joey.

"That's what Ah wanna know," said Al.

"Listen, young man," said The Hog. "We don't know who did this."

"Shut up," snapped Jimmy. "The guy who did it had a Southern accent."

"Just 'cause he was Southern don't mean he works for me," said The Hog.

"Yeah," said Joey. "Most Southerners ain't nothin' like us. That didn't come out right."

"Yes, it did," said Batman as he and Batgirl came out of hiding.

"You stay away from him," said Batgirl fiercely.

_No! Not now. Anytime but now!_

**Batman's perspective:**

"This ain't what it looks like," said The Hog. "Lemme try that again."

"No need," said Batman. "We have reason to believe you _might_ not have been involved in this. Answer some question and..."

"It's a trick," shouted Joey, drawing his pistol. Al did the same. The Hog, however, rarely used guns. She preferred to prove wrong guys who thought she was a frail, out of shape woman.

Batman and Batgirl took cover and let Al and Joey empty their clips. But they were quick and sneaky, as proven by how quickly they got around the shelf of goods Batgirl was hiding behind. Joey hooked her arms from behind, while Al started raining punches on her face.

"Shame to do this to a woman, but Ah know about that armor of yours," explained Al in between punches.

Batman got out of his own cover to help, but was decked by a shoulder charge that had him sprawling on the ground. _Forgot how much strength and power The Hog has._

"Uh-uh," joked The Hog. "You ain't goin' with the guys, Little Bat. You're mine for the night!" Batman was lifted up to his feet by the arms and put in The Hog's patented Hug. The Hog's powerful arms immobilized Batman's arms and upper body. More importantly to Batman, he felt his chest and ribs being crushed against The Hog's own as she pulled back hard against Batman's spine.

"Your touch," sighed The Hog dreamily. "Ah missed it."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Summoning her inner strength, Batgirl pressed back against Joey and kicked up with both feet at Al, knocking him down. Batgirl backed Joey against the shelf near them to break free of his grasp.

Batgirl had elbowed Joey down and was about to follow up, when she heard a cracking sound. If that was a bone of Batman in The Hug...

Batgirl started to run to help when she was dragged down by the cape.

"Don't let my dates run out on me, pretty flower," said Joey as he stood up over her. Batgirl sprung her laying body back so she could kick Joey off her, then sprung back up and turned to face Joey.

"You want a night with this girl," Batgirl threatened, "You want more than you can handle." _Hang on, Batman._

**Batman's perspective:**

Luckily, the crack seemed to have been bones creaking, not breaking. But it wouldn't be long now. Batman couldn't move his arms enough to get anything out of his belt. The Hog liked Batman too much to kill, but she was unlikely to hesitate to cripple.

_Maybe I should give her what she wants. _Batman leaned forward and kissed The Hog on the lips. He wanted to feel like throwing up, and most of him did. What was worse was that part of him was enjoying this. _What's wrong with me?_

Still, this distracted The Hog just enough for Batman to get a hand to his Batarangs. He got one out and thrusted it into The Hog's enormous gut, forcing her to break the hold and back away.

The Hog was furious! "How dare you take advantage of me like that? Ah was just gonna break a few bones, but if that ain't enough for you, Ah'll just have to really beat the shit out of you first."

But no sooner had she said that when a deep voice from beside Jimmy called, "Get where I can see you. All five of you." A gun cocked, and Batgirl, Al, and Joey got into view.

"None of you move," continued the mystery man. It was a man with long white hair, a matching beard, and a judge's robe. "The Magistrate has found you all guilty."

"What do you want?" asked Batman.

"For you and your redhead sidekick," said The Magistrate. "I haven't decided yet. But for the rednecks, it gets interesting. I got this submachine gun from this very cellar. It's going to be used to shoot the little brat."

"You can't," cried Batgirl, though she said nothing else when The Magistrate pointed his gun at Jimmy.

"I outsmarted you, Hog," gloated The Magistrate. "Kidnapping and murdering the son of a V.I.P. are the only crimes you never committed, and you're going to rot for them. The Joker would get a good laugh at that irony."

"You'd know, given how often you see him in Arkham," noted Batman.

"How the Hell do you know that, Little Bat," asked The Hog.

"You mean you still don't know who he is?" asked Batman. "The clues have been there. This is the work of your worst enemy."

"Ah thought that was you," said Al. "My sister's little schoolgirl crush not withstandin'."

"Oh, no," said Batman. "This man is a much worse enemy than me. An enemy whose destroyed career and the death of your father are intertwined."

"Congratulations," said The Magistrate, taking off his wig, fake beard, and synthetic skin to reveal Two-Face. "Your family couldn't make an honest living here like our other Southern guests, Hog. And for having once been good Samaritans, you destroyed our career. Not that we want it back. Well, I don't. That Pussy Harvey Dent does. But out of principle, we need revenge."

Two-Face flipped his coin. Scratched heads faced up. "We're afraid Dent has lost. The Batman and his redhead sidekick have lost worse. But we think we'll kill the brat first. Wouldn't want you to miss that. Two-Face was about to shoot Jimmy when another boy in his early teens jumped on Two-Face's back. It was a boy in a Robin suit.

_Tim?_

Two-Face threw the boy down, but Batman Bataranged the gun out of his hand before he could shoot and delivered a punch-punch-kick combination that had Two-Face staggered.

"Surrender," said Batman.

"Or Ah break you in half," vowed The Hog.

"Until next time," said Two-Face.

"There better not be a next time," said The Hog. "Little Bat may take shit from people, but we Traylors don't. This is strike two, Dent. If we fight again, Ah'll break you in half!"

"Literally," seconded Joey.

**Bruce's perspective:**

There had been no sleep that night. A new Robin had helped solve a case. Only problem was that Bruce didn't want a Robin. That name had gotten a boy with so many years left to live killed. He could not chance the same thing happening to Tim.

So the next morning, Bruce had Tim, Barbara, and Alfred meet him.

"First things first," said Bruce. "Barbara, do have something to say to Tim?"

"You saved my little brother," said Barbara, holding out her hand for Tim to five it. "I don't know if I could've gone on living if we'd failed to save him."

"Just doing what's right," said Tim.

"Now, Alfred," said Bruce. "Take him home."

"Sir..." began Alfred.

"Do you have a problem with that task?" asked Bruce.

"Wait," said Tim reluctantly. "If you don't want me around, you don't want..."

"Stop," said Barbara. "Bruce, he's proven his worth."

"That's not the point," said Bruce. "He'll get killed."

"You don't know," said Barbara.

"Jason," Bruce reminded her.

"What happened to him could've happened to me," said Barbara. "Or Dick. Or The Huntress. Or even you. But it happened to Jason because that's how it turned out. We all accepted risks when we put on those suits. Plus, didn't I hear that I couldn't hack it from you? Because I'm still here."

"There's a risk either way, Bruce," said Tim. "Alfred told me that you don't expect to live long. The more help you have, the better the chance that you will."

"Did you put him up to this, Alfred?" asked Bruce. Alfred froze.

"Dad has to replace dead officers," said Barbara. "He doesn't want to, but he knows it's the only way to maintain a police force."

"Compelling arguments," Bruce had to admit. "But I have a bad feeling I've created a monster. But it's too big and ferocious now, I guess."

"So I'm Robin?" asked Tim.

"It's not that easy," said Bruce. "First things first. I'll tell your father that I'm giving you a child's job because I find you reliable. It's true enough. Then for the next two weeks, we're training together. I'll also have your schoolwork sent to the cabin in the woods that we're staying in. If I'm satisfied that you're up to this, you can join this team."

"Two weeks?" asked Tim.

"Not a minute less," Barbara glared at Tim. "Jason died because he didn't get enough training. He was capable but cocky. I'm not siding with you this time, kid."

"Only thing," said Bruce, thinking it through further, "Is that Gotham will have to make due without me all this time."

"Leave the city to Batgirl," said Barbara. "Just train the boy."

"All right," said Bruce. "Gotham is yours. Take good care of her. Alfred, now you can drive Tim home for real. Use my credit card to get all the supplies we need."

"Yes, sir."


	8. Tim's Odyssey

**Bruce's perspective:**

_To think I actually vowed never to take another Robin after Jason died. That lasted a matter of weeks._

Actually, Tim Drake wasn't officially Robin. Bruce was taking him to a cabin in the woods to train. He may not pass the tests, but Bruce felt in his heart that Tim would succeed. And as promised, Bruce would take a chance on another child.

But part of Bruce felt glad of this. There was something heartwarming about the fact that The Batman did not have to go it alone like in his early years. Allies were not only desirable but also made the memory of the deaths of his parents a little less painful.

Mixed feelings aside, Bruce had made a promise. He would keep it if Tim proved himself. End of story.

**Tim's perspective:**

"So you're staying there for awhile?" asked Jack as he drove Tim to Wayne Manor.

"Yeah, dad," said Tim.

"Why do you have to be trained?" asked Jack.

"Since I've got business training," said Tim, "He wants to beef it up."

"Then this is for the best," smiled Jack.

Tim's heart sank. He had lied to his own father. But he couldn't just say that he was training to be Robin. Bruce had told him that he a "Need to know" policy. Still, to lie to your father...

Barbara Gordon met Tim in the mansion. "Why so down?" asked Barbara.

"I had to lie to Dad," said Tim.

"I know exactly how you feel," said Barbara, tapping Tim on the shoulder. "When I moved into my own apartment several months ago, the best part was not having to lie to Dad and Jimmy so much."

"You didn't tell me to get used to it," noted Tim.

"You don't," said Barbara.

They entered Bruce's study where Bruce was working. Turning to them, Bruce said, "It's time."

"Good luck," said Barbara.

"You too," said Tim, remembering that Barbara would have to protect Gotham City by herself for the next couple weeks.

"I'm entrusting Gotham to you, Barbara," said Bruce.

"I won't let you down, Bruce," promised Barbara. She then whispered into Tim's ear, "Don't make too many jokes. He won't appreciate them."

Bruce drove Tim to the cabin. "Your first lesson must be how to survive," said Bruce. "Our surroundings are the perfect test. But first you have to learn how to function outdoors."

"In a bit," said Tim. "It's way past one in the afternoon and I'm hungry."

"So am I, now that you mention it," said Bruce. "Wait here."

Tim waited for just a bit before Bruce returned with two bows and quivers of arrows. "Wait a minute," said Tim. "You can't mean..."

"Yes I do," said Bruce. "We're going to catch our own food. This is a part of survival. And you'll learn targeting and stealth as well."

Bruce and Tim walked outside with their bows and quivers. "Take a deep breath," suggested Bruce, and try to get in tune with your surroundings.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

Tim took a deep breath. _Now that I've done it, this forest does feel more real._

"Try to hit that with an arrow," Bruce pointed to a tree. To Tim's surprise, he managed to hit the tree on the first try.

"Not bad," complimented Bruce. Perhaps this would not be so hard after all.

They began hunting. Eventually, they happened upon an antler-free deer. Jason inched towards her when he stepped into a decline in the ground and fell. The deer took off like a shot.

"No," screamed Tim. He got up and said, "Sorry, Bruce. Couldn't see that deep drop-off in the dirt."

"You need to get one of these, not make excuses," scolded Bruce. "The animals of Gotham aren't as inclined to live and let live as her. And as for the 'drop-off...'" he pointed to the decline so Tim could see that it was barely any lower at all. "...Harsher surprises wait in Gotham also. Try again. Shoot that raccoon." He pointed to a raccoon eating berries on the large branch of a tree, sixty or seventy feet up.

Tim shot upwards, but the arrow went wide to the side. _What the Heck? I know I'm a better shot than that. _He shot again. This time the arrow hit the tree several yards above the raccoon. Tim's prey climbed further up the tree and out of reach.

"You're faltering in the heat of battle," explained Bruce. "I knew you needed this trip."

Tim didn't like that at all. "What do you expect? That thing was way up where there's more wind. How am I to do this?"

Bruce drew an arrow and shot it into the air. A squawk later, the arrow and a bird fell to the ground. "That way. That's lunch, but dinner will be yours to catch. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," said Tim, feeling embarrassed.

After picking the feathers and guts out of the bird, Bruce picked up a cookbook.

"Don't you know how to cook a bird?" asked Tim.

"No," said Bruce.

"You mean you rely totally on Alfred for this."

"Not totally," said Bruce. "There's cooks at my company."

"You really are a man's man," joked Tim. Off Bruce's stony reaction, Tim added, "Joking. Barbara's right. You don't have any appreciation of a good joke. Let me change the subject."

"Good call."

"I do know how to cook. When your father's away all the time, you kinda have to learn." He put the featherless, gutted bird on the stove and began cooking. Bruce found himself in the unusual role of assistant.

After they had finished eating the bird meat, Bruce noted that "We have some time to kill. You're either hard or dead, so start chopping wood."

**Bruce's perspective:**

Bruce had been watching Tim chop wood in the clearing just outside the cabin.

_Time to test his character._

Bruce shut his eyes and started breathing deeply as though he had fallen asleep.

"Perfect," he heard Tim whisper. "Sorry about this, old man."

_Old enough to be annoyed by children who do what they'd better not!_

A bit later, Tim shook Bruce lightly to "Wake" him up.

"It took all I had," Tim did a good impression of an exhausted boy, "But I'm finished."

"Take all this extra wood back to the woods where it belongs," Bruce said a shocked Tim. "You can then finish chopping the wood you're supposed to chop."

Tim went back to work, appearing to feel like a fool. But it would be a learning experience.

"Remember this the next time you try to trick me," suggested Bruce. "And for the record, I'm only thirty-two."

**Tim's perspective:**

It was night. Bruce and Tim were hunting again. They saw a deer, this time a male, in the distance.

"Remember," whispered Bruce, "Sneak up until you're in striking distance. Then let him have it."

Tim crept within twenty feet when suddenly, the buck turned to face Tim, surprising him. The stare-down lasted under a second before the buck took off.

Tim immediately took aim with his bow and fired.

_Please hit._

The arrow struck the area to the side of the the shoulder, felling the deer.

"Well-done," complimented Bruce. "This animal will feed us for some time. More importantly, you've learned how to stalk a target."

"Thanks," smiled Tim.

**Bruce's perspective:**

Over the next several days, Bruce assigned Tim more manual labor and exercise intended to turn him into an athlete. Day after day, he got stronger and faster.

During a break on the third day, Bruce asked, "You've disarmed an mugger but not before he shot his victim. The criminal is running. What do you do?"

"I go after him, duh," answered Tim. Off Bruce's disappointed look, Robin asked, "Was that the wrong answer?"

"You've got a lot to learn," said Bruce. "You don't go after him if you're alone because then there's no one to get the bullet out of the victim and stop the bleeding."

"Won't the robber escape?" asked Tim.

"Possibly," conceded Bruce. "But saving innocent lives is more important than catching him. If you can't understand that, you can't be Robin."

**Tim's perspective:**

On the seventh day, Tim stood on one end of the clearing outside the cabin. Bruce placed five empty beer cans on the other and got out of the way. Tim missed three shots with his bow before an arrow stuck in a can, knocking it down, trying to emulate how the fourth shot finally hit the mark, Tim fired four more shots that hit the other cans.

"Yes," Tim jumped for joy.

"Good job," said Bruce in a more calm manner.

Come the eighth day, Bruce said, "You're finally ready to learn how to fight. Follow my movements exactly." And thus, Bruce taught Tim various punches and kicks from the styles of boxing, military hand-to-hand training, Karate, Kung Fu, and Aikido. "Keep practicing those moves." Tim did so. As needed, Bruce reminded Tim of moves that he forgot. But by sundown, he had them down pat.

Bruce took things in an unusual turn. "Now Tim, it's time you learned how to actually fight. Defend yourself."

"Against you?" asked Tim. "I don't stand a chance!"

"Then get better."

This was not sparring. They were actually fighting. At first, Tim was utterly overmatched. But three days into this, something snapped in him and he delivered a powerful side kick that knocked Bruce down.

"You're improving," said Bruce, foot sweeping a happy Tim off his feet. "But still a ways to go."

For the remaining days of the trip, Tim kept improving. When the deadline came, Bruce said, "Congratulations, Tim. You are the new Robin."

"Thanks," said Tim. "How's Batgirl been doing?"

"I don't know," said Bruce. "She never called. We'll find out back at the Manor."


	9. Inescapable Past

**Barbara Gordon's perspective, five years ago:**

Barbara was babysitting her little brother, Jimmy. Their parents had left for New York City and a conference involving many highly ranked law enforcement officers from all over America, leaving Barbara in charge.

Jimmy was playing video games. One of those military shooters, specifically. Barbara enjoyed them well enough, although she personally preferred the phone or fantasy-themed RPGs. Anyway, with Jimmy otherwise occupied, Barbara could talk on the phone with her best friend, Katie.

A few minutes into the conversion, Barbara heard screaming in the kitchen. Jimmy wasn't playing video games anymore.

_Oh, no!_

"I'll call you back," Barbara abruptly ended the phone call. "Something's come up." She walked into the kitchen to see Jimmy clutching his right shoulder and grunting in pain. The plate cabinet was open and evidently, the eight-year-old boy had climbed onto the counter to get a plate to put dinner on, then slipped and fallen onto his shoulder, hard!

The enormity of the situation froze Barbara until Jimmy squealed, "911!" Barbara immediately reactivated her phone.

"How can I help you?" asked an operator.

"Get an ambulance here, please," said Barbara. "This is an emergency."

"We're tracing the call," the operator assured Barbara. "Just stay put."

At least Jimmy was getting the help he needed. All Barbara needed to do now was let their parents know what had happened.

_Who says the important part has to be the hard one?_

"Dad," she called.

"Barbara," said her father, Commissioner James Gordon, "Mom and I are in the conference. This has to wait."

"Jimmy's broken his shoulder," said Barbara.

"What?" yelled James in shock.

Fortunately, Jimmy hadn't suffered a permanently damaging injury. Just a month in traction. But Barbara was in trouble.

"What were you thinking?" asked Barbara, Sr. after she and James had visited Jimmy in the hospital

"I wasn't," Barbara, Jr. had to admit.

"I'd remind you," said James, "That we all make mistakes."

"Don't," said Barbara, Sr. "Our boy could have been killed because we haven't taught our girl to be responsible. You're grounded for three months!"

Wracked with guilt over what had happened to Jimmy, Barbara did not put up a fight. "Yes, Ma'am." She was still troubled by her mother's anger towards her. She hoped she could rebuild the trust.

Four days later, she was studying for a test when she got the call. "Barbara," James used the most horrifying words Barbara would ever hear: "Mom's been killed in action."

**Batgirl's perspective, present day:**

With Bruce Wayne training Tim Drake to be the next Robin outside of town, it was up to The Batgirl to protect Gotham City alone. To this end, she swooped down on a mugger just before the man he was threatening at gunpoint would have handed over his money.

"Run," said Batgirl. The victim did so.

The mugger had lost his gun getting tackled to the ground, but he drew a switchblade knife and began attacking Batgirl with it.

_No gentleman. Not that I'm complaining. I can deal with a guy who doesn't fight fair._

Batgirl dodged three knife strikes before kicking the weapon away and delivering a series of snap kicks that staggered the mugger. A spinning reverse elbow had him sprawling on the ground. Batgirl lifted him into a sitting position. "You may have heard that there's no Batman sightings anymore, but that's not a break."

A tear rolled down the mugger's cheek. "Kill me. I don't deserve to live."

"Getting beat by a girl's a shock," sighed Batgirl. "You'll get over it. Believe it or not, I get this a lot."

"It's not that," said the mugger. "OK, that too. But mostly, I let my family down."

"I'm not following."

"Wife's pregnant with twins. I probably couldn't have provided with one on a doorman's salary, let alone two. I didn't wanna do this, But we need money."

Batgirl began thinking of this man in a new light.

_He's not a bad man. He just did the wrong thing for the right reason, that's all._

"You can't get a better job?" asked Batgirl.

"I don't have any talent," said the mugger.

"It's rarely that simple," Batgirl tried to help. "What can you do?"

The mugger paused. "I'm thinking. I can tell you the points per game for all of the starters of the Gotham Barbarians."

"Well, there you go," said Batgirl. "You know numbers. Maybe you can find work at an investment firm or bank or something like that."

"You think so?" asked the mugger.

"You'll never know until you try," encouraged Batgirl.

"So... you're letting me go?" asked the mugger.

"I hadn't thought that far ahead," admitted Batgirl. The mugger said nothing. Batgirl suspected that Batman would have taken this man to jail, but Batgirl was not him. She knew that while inexcusable, this mugging was understandable.

"Get right," Batgirl pointed towards the entrance to the alley.

Returning to the Batmobile, Batgirl saw that it would not be long now. She had an appointment. The Traylors had tried to take advantage of Batman's disappearance by leaning on the business community. Batgirl had to stop that from happening. So she had scared some info on a meeting out of Franklyn Madison, owner of Madison's Goods, for his own good.

_God, that was lame!_

The "meeting" consisted of Joey, nephew of the Traylor boss, Becky "The Hog," issuing the terms of a protection racket. Batgirl had seen and heard enough. She came out of hiding.

"You know," said Madison, "I do think The Batgirl's still around."

"She ain't in our league," scoffed Joey. "She tries anything, Ah'll show her that! Then again, there's things Ah might like ta do with that pretty face."

"I know you've wanted me for a long time, Southern boy," said Batgirl from behind Joey's chair. Joey shot up and turned to see Batgirl. "But your chances are better if you play the good ol' boy, not the mean ol' boy."

They stared each other down for three seconds before Joey darted out of the place and into his car. But Batgirl followed and chucked a Batarang at one of the wheels, flattening a tire.

After trying and failing to drive away, Joey got out. "You said I wasn't in your league," said Batgirl, folding her arms and legs as she sat on the hood of Joey's car. "Prove it." Joey said nothing. "Then tell your trailer trash freak of an Aunt that Gotham's still in good hands."

"Yes, Ma'am," nodded Joey.

Batgirl let him replace his tire. She got back in the Batmobile and listened to the police radio. "Repeat, a robbery has just gone down at the 3rd National Bank of Gotham. The tellers and security guard have been found scared into a near comatose state."

_This seems like The Scarecrow's handiwork._

Batgirl drove towards the bank when she noticed one particular vehicle going extra fast on the Batnavicomputer. She decided to check this one out. Sure enough, she saw what looked like a man in a scarecrow costume.

What was it about these costumed archcriminals? Must have been drawn to the challenge of taking down The Batman. Everyone needed a pipe dream. But, for now, it was up to Batgirl to prove that The Scarecrow was no more of a match for her.

Suddenly, The Scarecrow stopped his car, got out of it, and moved in front of the Batmobile. Batgirl had to swerve wildly to avoid running him over. The lower right corner of the Batmobile crashed and wedged into a nearby building; it was stuck. Batgirl was amazed Scarecrow had the balls to come as close to collision as he needed for this plan to work. Even though some criminals were aware by now that Batman didn't kill, the instinct for survival tends to betray you.

_Unless you really are a master of fear. Maybe this guy really is an even greater master of fear than Batman, as he claims!_

"Hello again, old 'friend' and bully out of high school," taunted The Scarecrow. Batgirl thought that insult was ironic from a man who scared people delirious or dead with his chemicals. "I see rumors of your vacation are exaggerated. You seem to be stuck, so come out and you will meet your doom, Batman!"

Batgirl opened the front shield of the Batmobile and got on the hood. "I'm here," she said bravely. "Do your worst!"

For half a minute, The Scarecrow didn't answer. Then he said, "So The Dark Knight left me a second-rate adversary. I will torture him to death for three days for this indignity! As for you, little Batgirl, go home."

"I feel kind of mistreated myself," said Batgirl. "Oh, well. Can't expect enlightenment from vermin. I don't appreciate your 'gentle-manhood,' by the way."

"You misunderstand," said Scarecrow. "You are simply not worth humiliating. But if you push your luck, I will still have you begging for death from the god of fear!"

"Well, your holiness," said Batgirl. "I'm a student of mythology, and I believe the Greek and Norse gods lost a few to mere mortals." With that, she charged. The Scarecrow ran into an alley. Batgirl pursued. No one was there.

_He couldn't have... Batgirl, you moron! Turn on the nightvision lenses. Batman wouldn't have forgotten in the heat of..._

Batgirl was decked from the side by a tire iron. She was fortunate that it hit the lightly protective mask and not the exposed lower face, or she might be out. But she still had to prevent a follow-up attack, so she turned onto her back so she could sandwich the again-swinging tire iron between her legs, and deliver a few snap kicks to The Scarecrow's face, forcing him to release the weapon and back away.

A jump kick launched Scarecrow into a couple of trash cans, knocking them and himself down. "Hungry for more?" asked Batgirl. "The lunch lady's on the job!"

The Scarecrow entered a stance that Batgirl recognized as the Crane style of Kung Fu. She blocked two kicks before two more struck the cheek and neck. The last one momentarily cramped her breathing and forced her to the ground.

Scarecrow stood over Batgirl in a straddle, lifted his right foot up, and declared, "And thus I prove that I am far beyond your league!" But Batgirl caught the stomping foot in her hands at the last second and delivered a couple knee strikes to the groin, forcing him down. Kneeling on top of him , Batgirl left jabbed five times and right crossed twice. Scarecrow was groaning.

"Funny you should talk about leagues," said Batgirl in the spirit of victory. "Despite what girls on social media with questionable tastes in men think, I see no indication that you'd be any good in the sack."

Suddenly, The Scarecrow drew a skull-shaped object and sprayed gas at Batgirl. "Now you shall pay quite dearly! Prepare for horror and slow death!"

Batgirl began punching again. She wasn't going to wait to see what hallucination, if any, was coming. After several punches that may or may not have knocked out The Scarecrow, Batgirl heard a middle-aged woman say, "Barbara." Batgirl kept punching.

"Barbara, answer your mother."

Batgirl could not refuse that. She looked to her left side to see her mother, seemingly back from the dead. Batgirl got up and smiled with joy. "Mom? Is it really you?"

"You shouldn't be so happy," said Barbara, Sr. "As glad as I am to see you, what are you doing in that monkey suit?"

Batgirl stepped back in horror. Her mother stepped forward so as not to let her off the hook. "What do you mean by that?" asked Batgirl.

"You're trying to fight crime," said Barbara, Sr. "Now you've accepted responsibility for an entire city. What are you thinking? You nearly got Jimmy killed five years ago! My anger at you left me incapable of police work and I died four days later. Don't say that wasn't the reason. You knew it was your fault from the moment your father broke the news to you."

"I thought..."

"Thought what? That I approve of you taking a dangerous path in life for which you've already proven to not be qualified for? Absolutely not!"

A roundhouse kick knocked Batgirl several steps back and down. It was The Scarecrow. "Whoever you're talking to is the least of your worries," he said, leaping and stomping Batgirl on the head.

"So, you have an abusive mother," said Scarecrow. "Or just a dysfunctional family. How tragic. Wait for her in Heaven so you can work out your problems."

Batgirl again focused on The Scarecrow, but this time, The Dark Lady's heart wasn't into it. Despite her being an athletic woman, and thus generally being faster than most of her opponents, Scarecrow easily caught the kicking right foot and twisted it. Pain ignited in the ankle and knee for several seconds before Batgirl freed them. They didn't seem as bad as they felt. A good night's sleep would heal them. It was then that Batgirl was knocked down again by a martial arts hand strike.

"Do you accept that you should have stuck to the common criminals and stayed the Hell away from geniuses like myself?" asked Scarecrow.

Before Batgirl could hear, she heard her mother's voice call, "Run, Barbara!" Batgirl instinctively obeyed the command and made a break for the Batmobile.

"I'll take that as a yes," The Scarecrow declared victory before howling in triumph.

Batgirl hadn't the presence of mind to start driving in the Batmobile safely. She was sweating; her heart was racing. Not that she could hurt herself in this armored car, but pedestrians were another story. For their sake, Batgirl rested. Of course, she kept a eye on the alley she and The Scarecrow had fought in, but he seemed mostly satisfied with scaring her off. He did say that Batgirl wasn't worth it. Not that knowing that made Batgirl feel any better.

"And don't even think about going after him again," said the voice of Barbara, Sr. Batgirl saw her mother in the passenger's side.

"Wha?" asked a surprised Batgirl. "How'd you get in?"

"Don't you talk back to me, Barbara," scolded Barbara, Sr.

"Why the Hell do you have to grill me like this?" asked Batgirl. "I may have screwed up once, but..."

"'I've done a lot of good since then,'" ridiculed Barbara, Sr. "Please. Batman had to save your life on your first trial by fire. You have yet to do a big mission by yourself. And then there's Jason Todd. Oh, yes, I know about him. You knew he was on his way to death with his attitude. You needed to convince Batman to handle him with a firmer hand. But you didn't. Now he's dead. You will mess up again and you know it!"

Tears were forming in Batgirl's eyes. It was not easy to hear her mother talk about her like this. "I'm sorry about all this," said Batgirl. "I'd give my life to change what I did five years ago. But I can't. I can only do all the good I can. You were a loyal cop, Mom. You should understand that."

"Do you actually think this is about me?" asked Barbara, Sr., surprised. "There is nothing I couldn't forgive you for. But why on Earth are you in that suit after you proved yourself unfit for it? You'll die a youth."

"I've learned a lot," said Batgirl.

"And," continued Barbara Sr., ignoring Batgirl, "You promised James you wouldn't do this."

"Dad said I couldn't be a cop," corrected Batgirl.

"Don't split hairs with me, young lady. You looked into his eyes and lied. And you're going to give him another tragedy when he and Jimmy have seen quite enough. Walk away." As soon as she said that, Barbara, Sr. vanished.

_She wasn't real. Just a creation of The Scarecrow's gas._

But even as Batgirl thought that, she couldn't believe it. The fact was that, however false the messenger, this image of her mother had revealed her greatest fear, that she could not help but screw up when it counted. What to do?

One thing was for sure: her patrol was over. Until she got cured of The Scarecrow's intoxicants at the Batcave, she was in no condition to fight crime. The macho Batman would have fought rain, shine, tidal wave, but Batgirl wasn't one to do it when it meant likely death.

**The Scarecrow's Perspective:**

The Scarecrow had kept howling like a wolf until he tired himself out. Whatever his new and improved Fear Gas had made The Batgirl see, it had done its job.

Batgirl had driven away. Scarecrow wondered why she waited so long to make this decision.

_Probably a side effect of the gas. Fear does make people act irrationally._

With The Batman on vacation, it was the perfect time for The Scarecrow to use the money "withdrawn" from the bank that he still had in his car to buy the equipment needed to make enough Fear Gas to threaten to contaminate the city's water supply. And if the pretty little Batgirl interfered again, she would learn that no matter what they tell you, you _can_ be scared to death.

**Barbara's perspective:**

Barbara Gordon felt more normal as the antitoxin Alfred gave her flowed through her bloodstream. "Much better, Alfred. Thanks."

"Don't celebrate yet," said Alfred. "You said The Scarecrow's 'medicine' scared you, didn't you, Madam Barbara?"

"Horrified is more like it," said Barbara. "But why does that matter?"

"Because once you've become unglued," Alfred gave her a reality check, "You're unglued. No gas in your body doesn't change that."

"Oh," said a suddenly cautious Barbara. "Then the memories aren't stopping, are they?"

"What memories?" asked Alfred.

"I guess I should tell you since you're advising me," Barbara began. "It was five years ago. I was babysitting Jimmy. He was playing video games. I thought I'd call a friend. He looked like he wasn't doing anything else."

"Go on," said Alfred.

"I missed a glimpse of him leaving for the kitchen. He climbed up the counter to get a plate but fell down and broke his shoulder. I was grounded for three months."

"Guilt over that has been brought back to life?" Alfred figured it out quickly.

"That's not the half of it," said Barbara. "Mom was especially pissed at me. She couldn't get out of a bad mood. A few days later, she died in action. I've always wondered if it was because I made her too mad to think straight."

"You're not a goddess," said Alfred. "You make mistakes."

"But I wonder if I did enough to straighten up Jason," said Barbara. "Another mistake and avoidable death on me."

"You don't know that they wouldn't have died regardless," Alfred kept trying to cheer Barbara up.

No sale. "I'm re-examining my role on this team."

"Madam," said Alfred. "Master Bruce chooses his allies with great care. If he didn't think he could depend on you, he never would have chosen you."

Barbara sighed. "I don't know what to do."

Barbara was having trouble sleeping that night, so she started to play a puzzle game on her phone. She had passed a couple more levels when the game was replaced by the face of a woman in a pilot's getup. "Turn off your game. You've got an important appointment."

_What the Hell?_

Seconds later, Barbara heard knocking at her apartment door. She had just gotten up when a woman walked through the door. This incorporeal being looked a lot like the one Barbara had seen on the touch screen of her phone.

"And you are?" asked Barbara cautiously. She had no idea of what to make of all this.

"The ghost of Amelia Earhart," said the woman.

"One of most important women in history?" asked Barbara, suddenly excited. Not too excited. This lady could be lying.

"Yes," Amelia said. "The one who proved that people women can fly, too. I used to have respect for you as the female representative of a team that's cleaning up this unfortunate city, but I've changed my mind."

"How come?" asked Barbara.

"You're walking away from it," said Amelia.

"You don't understand," said Barbara. "I failed tonight. Plus, I was reminded of terrible things I've done in the past that I've tried to forget. First it was Jimmy that I let down, then Mom, finally Jason. Bruce or Dad are next. I can't allow that to happen."

"So you just give up," sneered Amelia.

"Who are you to judge?" asked Barbara.

"Because I went through this many times myself," said Amelia. "Believe it or not. It was a long road of trial and error before I became a good enough pilot to fly over the Atlantic Ocean. And I wasn't a 'Daddy's little girl' who got encouragement. Uh-uh. I was told on every bad day that I was playing in a man's world. But I carried on."

"What if I screw the pooch again?" asked a frightened Barbara.

Amelia was more sensitive now and looked at Barbara with caring eyes. "Learn from your past mistakes," suggested Amelia. "Take greater care and be more attentive. If you're afraid you can't, allow me to show you just what the consequences of you never joining your team would have been."

An eerie portal appeared. Amelia and Barbara walked through it. "By the way," said Amelia, "These are projections. They can't see you, nor can you affect them. So don't try to interfere or anything."

Amelia and Barbara saw a city with mutant plants everywhere and the people of Gotham living in fear. "You can't be serious," said Barbara. "Batman's always been able to put Poison Ivy away."

"The first time, yes," said Amelia. "The second time, you'll recall that she seduced the former Robin. In this reality, The Batman wouldn't fight his own surrogate son and was killed by him because The Batgirl wasn't there to force Ivy to release Robin."

"If memory serves," said Barbara, "They saved me first."

"I know," said Amelia. "Brothers and sisters in arms defending each other and their city. Let's continue." They walked into the Mayor's Mansion.

A seduced Marc Freeman was briefing Poison Ivy in the Mayor's office. "Our men and plants have taken Minnesota," said the man Barbara knew as Lieutenant Freeman. "It took two years, but we've finally got the government on the ropes!"

"Well done, Commissioner," Ivy smiled at Freeman, which made him smile with joy. "They will never have the guts to wipe this country off the map, so they have no choice but to surrender to me. A green world order will begin! Its birthplace will be the United States of America."

_Not if I have anything to say about it, botanical slut! _Barbara ran and delivered a flying kick... that harmlessly passed through Ivy like a light breeze.

"What did I tell you?" asked Amelia. "These are images of an alternate reality. We can't hurt them. We can only learn from them."

Barbara had nothing to say to Amelia. She wanted to say how sorry she was for abandoning her identity as Batgirl knowing what she did now. The portal opened again.

"Follow me," commanded Amelia as she walked through the portal. Barbara did so.

They were back in Barbara's apartment. "So you see," said Amelia. "You made a big difference as Batgirl. Don't you think it would be a bad idea to retire her just because the past hurts?"

"Pain isn't something you can turn off like a light switch," said a still not entirely certain Barbara.

Amelia hugged Barbara soothingly. "I know, Ms. Gordon. But abandoning your responsibilities won't make you feel better about yourself, will it?"

_She's right about that._

"Not so fast," called the voice of Barbara's mother. "I'm here to tell you the consequences of attacking The Scarecrow and failing again. I'm not into drama, so I'll just say that you're killed, unmasked, and my husband and son are so consumed by guilt that they kill themselves!"

"But none other than Amelia Earhart..." began Barbara, Jr.

"That's not Earhart," laughed Barbara, Sr. "This is a dream, child. You're looking for any excuse to get people you love killed and that fake has given you one."

"You know that's not true," said Amelia, though Barbara really wasn't. "Scarecrow will take over the city and kill Batman and the new Robin if you don't set things right. Can you live with that?"

"Stay out of this," demanded Barbara, Sr.

"Save the city," demanded Amelia.

Barbara woke up. A dream. Or a vision. It had felt very real, after all. Either way, it had certainly not made her decision any easier. But maybe there was someone who could. But if that someone was still upset...

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

The following afternoon, Commissioner James Gordon was doing some paperwork when his phone started ringing. "Commissioner," said Mayor John Linseed. "I've received threats from The Scarecrow. He tells me that unless we leave three billion dollars at a spot he's written down for me by midnight, he'll contaminate the water supply with that Fear Gas of his. Can he actually do that?"

"I wouldn't take this threat lightly," said Gordon. "Wait until the eleventh hour." From past experience, Gordon knew that Linseed had no courage, least of all in an election year. He wasn't risking the political fallout of a city's water supply being poisoned.

"I know you're doing your best," said Linseed, hanging up.

So how could The Scarecrow be found on such short notice? Only one person in Gotham might be able to do that, and his sightings had stopped in the past few days. Gordon hoped this person was simply getting better at being seen or that The Batgirl could step up. Gotham depended on one of these things being true.

**Barbara's perspective:**

Because Jimmy was old enough to be left alone, he was by himself in the house. Barbara visited and watched him "Own newbies" as he put it on his video game system. Barbara didn't mind. What his response to the more serious thing Barbara was going to tell him would be still made her nervous.

After the game Jimmy was playing was over, he said, "You said you had something to say to me, Babs?"

"It's about..." Barbara's mouth was suddenly frozen. What if Jimmy turned out to have never forgiven her?

"About what?" asked Jimmy.

_Spit it out, Babs. At least you'll know._

"I've been having nightmares lately," said Barbara. "They've brought back bad memories of... five years ago."

"Is that it?" asked Jimmy, surprised.

"You're not upset about it?" asked Barbara, trying not to smile.

"Of course not," said Jimmy.

"I screwed up, Jimmy," Barbara reminded her brother. "You could have been killed."

"You're not a goddess," said Jimmy. "You're a normal person. You make mistakes. And you've accomplished so much."

"Like what?" asked Barbara.

"Like..." Jimmy paused before continuing, "Being a straight "A" student. Having a career at your age. I'm not mad at you. I'm proud of you. You should be very proud of yourself, got that?" He opened his arms and Barbara hugged him. A weight was off her shoulders.

After the hug ended, Barbara gave Jimmy a noogie. "Hey," said Jimmy.

"Just doing my job as a big sister," said Barbara. "By the way, your skull's getting harder. You're growing into a strong little man."

Releasing Jimmy, Barbara added, "Seriously, I'm glad you can forgive me and then some. It means a lot to me. I can't stay. Got an errand to run.

As Barbara got to her car, something occurred to her. Why had Jimmy had to think about why he was proud of her? Had Jimmy put the pieces together? Did he know what his sister did at night and was happy she did?

Barbara wondered if she would ever know.

Now was not the time to think on this. The Batsignal was in the sky.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

If the Batsignal was running the moment it got just dark enough to be seen, something awful must have gone down.

Batgirl had hoped her father wouldn't have made the call during Batman's absence. It would be difficult to keep him from noticing that it was his daughter in costume. Bad enough Jimmy might know, though he did seem to approve if he did.

Batgirl stood of the edge and faced away from James. "I'm here, Commissioner," she said in a very deep voice.

"No Batman, huh?" asked James.

"I'm what you've got," said Batgirl.

"Scarecrow's threatened to poison our water with that Fear Gas of his if he's not paid three billion," explained James.

"So I have to find him quick," realized Batgirl, knowing that Gotham couldn't afford to cave into terrorist demands.

"You're young," said James. "The Mayor doesn't care about the consequences of caving. All he can see is that he can't have a plague months before his next election."

"He's lost my vote," growled Batgirl.

"I wouldn't hold my breath on any of those vying to be nominated by the opposition doing any differently in his place," sighed James. "Drop-off's at Gotham Park."

"Too easy to hide there," said Batgirl. "Don't send anyone. I'll handle the skinny boy myself."

"Are you sure you're... shouldn't you be gone?" James was clearly surprised.

"You weren't done," said Batgirl.

"That wouldn't have stopped the other Bat," said James.

"Maybe I'm not so much like him after all," offered Batgirl.

"As I was saying," James backed up, "Are you up to this?"

Batgirl jumped off and parachuted down with her cape. Rude, but she knew James would risk ruining everything with a force that Scarecrow would spot if Batgirl admitted that she wasn't so sure.

With her stealth and athleticism, Batgirl had no trouble spotting the Mayor's men taking the briefcase into Gotham Park. _What a coward!_

"Leave it there and go," said the voice of The Scarecrow. The delivery boys did so. The Scarecrow walked within three meters of the briefcase before looking up at the tree Batgirl was standing in. Batgirl gasped upon realizing that The Scarecrow had spotted her.

"So you didn't figure out last night that amateurs should fear me, Bitchgirl," taunted Scarecrow. "Not that you don't. Fly along home, spoiled Bat princess. Or you won't escape this time."

"I'm not spoiled or an ama..." Batgirl stopped to think and grinned. "You're playing head games, aren't you? Yeah. You're trying to provoke me into making the first mistake. But that was letting me go last night." Batgirl dropped to the ground. "Dealing with the hallucinations you put in my head was Hell. What goes around, comes around!"

The Scarecrow moved towards Batgirl and entered his Crane stance. But he was cocky after the previous night's victory; he had left his chest wide open. Batgirl delivered a palm strike. Scarecrow fell down, screaming in pain.

"For all your martial arts knowledge," said Batgirl as she raised up and spread The Scarecrow's legs, "You take pain worse than my kid brother." Lifting her right foot over Scarecrow's groin, Batgirl added, "Surrender. Or I crush 'em!"

Suddenly, Batgirl saw her mother again. "No, not now."

"Yes," said her mother. "Stop pretending to be something you're not. Take a safer path."

"No," declared Batgirl. "You're not my mother. You're a figment of my imagination. Go the Hell away!" And just like that, the image disappeared.

If this were a TV show, Batgirl overcoming her fear would be the beginning of the end. Instead, the distraction had been just enough for The Scarecrow to get up and deck her with a roundhouse kick. Some more kicks to the exposed lower face stopped her from getting up.

Straddling Batgirl, The Scarecrow began strangling her. For a gaunt man, Scarecrow was very, very strong! "As if I needed Fear Gas to take care of a brat like you," declared Scarecrow. "Don't worry. You won't die. You'll be traded for Batman. He'll die, and it'll be all your fault! A fault my Fear gas will bring to life!"

_Fear Gas! That's it. _Batgirl took one of the skull-shaped gas dispensers from The Scarecrow's belt and used it to spray him.

"You really think I can't handle that?" laughed Scarecrow. "I was a college professor in psychology who specialized in fear. To me, Fear Gas is an autumn wind. Wait. Who the Hell are you?"

Batgirl was relieved when The Scarecrow let her go to confront his new visitor. Although Batgirl didn't see anyone else. Which meant only one thing.

**The Scarecrow's perspective:**

"Bo Griggs," said the large man that The Scarecrow believed that he saw.

"M-my tormentor from college?" asked Scarecrow.

"Uh-huh," said Bo. "You've really screwed up! I should be winnin' championships. You should have a Nobel in psychology. But noooo! You had ta go nuts 'n psycho and kill me just 'cause you couldn't take a joke. Time to make it all right. By the way, I always did love pickin' on you, Jonathan 'Ichabod' Crane. Probably won't get da big guy upstairs ta send ya to Heaven with me, but ya can't win 'em all!"

And on that note, fist met forehead.

**Batgirl's perspective:**

The Scarecrow had passed out. Whoever it was he thought he saw had "knocked him out."

_Don't like getting your nose rubbed in the painful past, do you?_

In time, Batgirl was watching police officers take The Scarecrow away from a rooftop. "Thank you, Jimmy," said Batgirl. "And if it really was you, thank you too, Amelia."

"Don't mention it," Batgirl heard Amelia's voice. Batgirl looked around. No one was there. Like whether Jimmy knew who she was, she knew that she may never know if the vision of Amelia Earhart had been more than a dream.


	10. Coercion

**The Penguin's perspective:**

After a year in the hospital for having had his back and ribs broken by Bane, The Penguin was meeting with Victor Zehrhard, Warden of Blackgate Prison.

"Sympathy counts for a lot," said Zehrhard. "So does social status. Throw in that you were exonerated of the murders of executives in your former company a long time ago, and that most of your other crimes were unproven assaults on the vigilante known as Batman, and we've been ordered to release you."

"Try not to be too disappointed," said the man formerly known as Ozwald Cobblepot. "Despite your contempt, I've learned my lesson. I'll be a model citizen this time. The only reason I ever wasn't was because of the bastard who stole my birthright. But he's dead and so is my criminal career."

"Just stay out of trouble, fat ostrich," warned Zehrhard.

**Batman's perspective:**

The last two days had been happy ones for Batman. They began with him learning that The Batgirl had solved her first big solo case and conquered some personal demons, to boot. On top of that, Tim Drake, the new Robin, was getting the hang of things quickly.

Batman's joy was cut short by the news of The Penguin's release. "I wonder why the police didn't fight this," said Batman.

"Quite a mystery," agreed Alfred. "I would think keeping Master Cobblepot off the streets would be a priority."

"I know you all expect me to defend Dad," said Batgirl, "But I don't understand, either. Maybe you better come with me, Robin. Batman's in a bad mood."

"Good call," said Batman.

Except for when he foiled a shoplifting on the way to GCPD HQ, Batman thought about nothing but confronting Commissioner James Gordon. Gordon was a man who seemed to love Gotham, having remained a cop there, despite coming from Chicago. Why had he not lifted a finger to stop The Penguin from being sprung?

Batman entered the office of Gordon through a window that he opened from outside. "Commissioner?" he asked.

Gordon gasped and faced Batman. "I'm not getting any younger," said the police Commissioner.

"Don't ask for sympathy," said Batman.

"Not like it ever did any good," frowned Gordon. "Let me guess. After Freeman, Bullock, the company The Penguin terrorized some years ago, my daughter, and finally the press, you finally made the party of people demanding to know why I didn't step in to stop the bird's release."

"Correct," confirmed Batman.

"Listen, Batman," explained Gordon. "We have rules here. Good behavior and sympathy often get people out early. The Penguin met requirements that reforming inmates meet all the time."

"He's not a common criminal," said Batman. "He's one of the most dangerous men on Earth!"

"'That it is better one hundred guilty persons should escape than that one innocent person should suffer, is a maxim that has been long and generally approved,'" quoted Gordon.

Batman softened and paused. "The wisdom of Benjamin Franklin. I'm sorry. I was wrong to criticize." The Dark Knight left through the window from whence he had entered.

"It's OK," called out Gordon.

So The Penguin's release was unavoidable. Fine. That wasn't stopping Batman from paying him a visit.

Batman looked through the window of the apartment at King Henry's Palace, the penthouse that Penguin had moved into.

The Penguin was sitting in a couch watching television. Entering, Batman began walking towards The Penguin when he turned to Batman and said, "Welcome, old friend. Or at least as close to a friend as anyone who has come to greet me. Which is no one else."

"I can see why," said Batman.

"I know I've done horrible things," admitted The Penguin. "But I've reformed."

Batman looked hard at The Penguin.

"You seem skeptical," said Penguin.

"Can you blame me?" asked Batman. "First you went mad with vengeance on Gabriel Boile when he stole your family's company from you. Then you form The Malevolent Seven with nearly all the other most dangerous people in town. Then you began robbing places until Bane literally tore you apart. And no, none of my allies felt bad for you."

"Didn't you find the real assailant after I had been tricked into thinking it was the tub of Southern lard?" recalled The Penguin.

"Don't flatter yourself," said Batman. "It was for justice, not you. Or The Hog, for that matter."

"Of course not," chuckled The Penguin. "A bank CEO and friend of my father who owed him a favor offered me a job. Do you think I would jeopardize this rare opportunity?"

Batman moved towards The Penguin and got in his nose, since it was too long for Batman to get in his face. "For your sake, I hope not."

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

The next day, Lucius Fox, Bruce Wayne's company vice president, asked, "Are you listening?"

"I heard every word." In reality, Bruce had been lost in thought of The Penguin and whether he could stay away from crime.

"So what have I been informing you of?" asked Lucius.

"Well..." began Bruce uneasily. "Supply and demand are..."

"Thought so," said Lucius. "Why don't I start this again?"

"Good idea," said Bruce. This time, he had to focus on business. Dealing with crime was hours away.

**The Penguin's perspective:**

Lawful life was the preferable life. No more ghastly battles. And even better, a man of Ozwald Cobblepot's social standing had the position in society as an executive for 2nd National Bank of Gotham that he so richly deserved. True, many would argue otherwise, what with his record. But you get that when you're a Cobblepot.

As Ozwald walked out of 2nd National Bank of Gotham when the workday ended, the CEO, Bilbi Moynihan stopped him to offer, "For a bonus, what would you say to... jobs in your other line of work?"

Ozwald didn't like hearing that. "I'm out of that business. Talk about something else, Mr. Moynihan."

"Here are the facts of life," said Maynihan. "I didn't take the controversy and grumbling among my employees just because I'm a friend of your old man, Oz. You present an opportunity."

"Didn't you say you owed Father?" asked Ozwald.

"Yes," said Bilbi, lowering his voice to a whisper. "But this will triple my business. Can't pass it up. I want you to start taking out the executives at Shadow Bank. They'll be replaced by worms who'll think they have an opportunity before I run them into the ground and buy them out for a bargain one year for now."

"Perhaps I haven't made myself clear," whispered Ozwald. "I'm straight now."

"Perhaps _I_ haven't made myself clear," whispered Moynihan. "I don't give a damn! None of us can do these jobs, save you. I know I owed your family, but everyone here will get raises. Good enough for you."

"Fire me if you want," said Ozwald, "But I'm not risking everything."

"You shot the head of the Traylor family, right?" asked Moynihan.

"Becky 'The Hog' Traylor?" asked Ozwald.

"I do business with her crime syndicate," said Moynihan. "Another reason you're here is because they want to know if you're gonna move in on them now that you're free. They'll believe me."

"You do that, I'll die in my sleep tomorrow," growled Ozwald.

"Then be reasonable, criminal freak," Moynihan's insult drove the point home that he had Ozwald by the balls.

"Who's the first target?" asked Ozwald.

"Leeman Thompson," said Moynihan.

"I'll remember that name," said Ozwald. He hated agreeing to this, but he had no choice.

"Just don't let The Batman get you again. The hicks have enough of the Blackgate guards in their pockets to get the job done in there."

As Ozwald resumed his walk out of bank, Alexandria Johansen, a female employee who Ozwald somehow managed to get to agree to have lunch with him the next day, despite his short and misshapen appearance, asked, "Why so down?"

"I-I'm not," said Ozwald. He wasn't dragging Alexandria through this.

**Batman's perspective:**

_I knew it!_

Batman knew of criminals who, after he put them away, reformed after serving their time, but he felt that The Penguin was not to be one of them. Now he and Robin saw Penguin leaving his apartment in black and with a cheap mask. He had an Umbrella Gun in one hand and an Umbrella-Copter in the other.

"What a surprise," said Robin, now Tim Drake. "But why? Why wouldn't he go straight? The guy who drove him to crime is ruined. His crimes have been forgiven."

Having a correct hunch for what would happen was not the same thing as that event making sense. "I can't answer that question," said Batman. "Maybe he's addicted. Doesn't matter. We're stopping him. End of story."

Batman and Robin got in the Batmobile to trail The Penguin as he Umbrella-Coptered away. "Ambush him when he lands?" guessed Robin.

"Not so fast," cautioned Batman. "Wearing burglar gear is not a crime. We have to catch him in a criminal act first."

So they followed The Penguin to a plush part of town. The Penguin flew onto a windowsill and used a glass cutter to open a hole in the window that he could climb through. Batman and Robin followed with Batropes tied to Batarangs. They couldn't use Batgrapples for fear of alerting The Penguin But his pointing the Umbrella Gun at a sleeping couple forced Batman and Robin's hand.

"I'm sorry," said Penguin quietly.

"Not accepted," said Robin. The Penguin snapped around to see that he had been followed.

"Oh, gracious mercy," said Penguin.

"Do you still watch the animal shows on PBS?" asked Robin. "That why you say things like that?"

"Couldn't go for more than a day before you did this again, could you, Cobblepot?" said Batman.

"I had no choice," said The Penguin, shooting the couple in the left shoulders. They woke up screaming in pain. "Me or them. The choice is yours." He Umbrella-Coptered away from The Dynamic Duo, crashing through a window on the way to escape.

"I'll dress their wounds," said Robin of the wounded couple.

"No," Batman disagreed. "You have to get the bullets out first. You can't handle that by yourself."

_Well done, waddling coward! First you hid behind misplaced sympathy, then wounded innocents. Maybe you won't be able to hide forever._

**The Penguin's perspective:**

It was Bilbi Moynihan who began the next conversation with The Penguin in the morning. "Thompson's _near death _was on local news, Mr. Cobblepot. What went wrong?"

"The Batman happened," explained The Penguin.

"No wonder," said Moynihan. "The Hog's told me about him. No wonder she's got such a huge crush on him. You don't want to know."

"Too late," said Penguin. That crush had cost him and the rest of The Malevolent Seven an opportunity to kill Batman over a year and a half before.

"We have to make plans for him," said Moynihan. "If you're thinking about transforming from Penguin to Chicken, remember that The Hog is as faithful an avenger as she is a lover. And I do believe you're fond of that young lady in my employment. Somehow, you seem to have a one in a hundred chance with her, but not if she... leaves town."

_There's no turning back, I guess._

"I say we set a trap for him," suggested The Penguin.

"I agree, Mr. Cobblepot," said Moynihan. "In fact, here's how we go about this."

Halfway through lunch that afternoon, Alexandria said, "Why have you said so little, Oz?"

"I-it's nothing," said The Penguin. "No, it's something. But not you. So don't worry."

**Bilbi Moynihan's perspective:**

Moynihan had put on his coat and was ready to go home when the light in his office went out. "What idiots make these light-bulbs?" asked Moynihan.

"If you're on that track, you're not so smart yourself," a deep and gruff voiced said.

"Batman?" asked Moynihan. "That's you, isn't it? If you can't afford the kinds of restaurants I go to..."

Moynihan was lifted up. He could now make out that the trespasser was indeed The Dark Knight. "You'd be surprised," said Batman. "If you want to eat there again, tell me why The Penguin is committing crimes again."

"Because he shouldn't have been freed," said Moynihan. "They should have thrown away the key!"

"A likely story," acknowledged Batman. "But everything is too perfect. First, he has a job lined up for him despite his notorious nature. Then he takes the risk of going after a fairly wealthy man. And I find that he is one of the heads of one of your biggest competitors."

"And if I refuse to dignify your scurrilous accusation?" asked Moynihan.

Batman smiled fiercely.

"You're bluffing," Moynihan flashed his own smile. "I know you don't kill anybody." He was belted in the gut and coughed.

"You'd be surprised by what you can live through," said Batman.

_Dammit, he's right. I'm too important to be hurt like this. _"Security!"

But Batman was quick to hoist Moynihan over his shoulder and run towards a window with him. He seemed to have something under his mask that enabled him to see in the dark.

Moynihan thought about unmasking Batman, but when Batman swung on an unknown tool from the bank to the wall of a taller building, Moynihan became too afraid to try.

"Moynihan," said Batman, "You have no way out of this. Talk!"

Moynihan had no choice. But then again, leading him to The Penguin could set everything right. "Alright, you'll find Cobblepot in the empty warehouse on 489th Street."

"You'd better be telling the truth," said Batman, slowly lowering Moynihan to the ground before Batgrappling back up the building.

"You all right, boss?" asked one of the security guards who had answered Moynihan's call.

"Yes. No thanks to you."

_Cobblepot, you'd better come through this time!_

**Batman's perspective:**

After returning to Wayne Manor to get Robin and the Batmobile, it was time to drive to 489th Street.

"You trust this guy?" asked Robin.

"No," said Batman. "But the only one working for him who could spring a trap on us effectively is The Penguin. Still, keep your eyes open. He's not the common thugs you've been taking out."

There was only one warehouse on 489th Street. Batman and Robin entered. Suddenly, the ticking of a clock could be heard.

"Out," cried Batman as he lead Robin on a dash. They jumped out a window in time to avoid the explosion that destroyed the warehouse.

Batman looked up to see The Penguin swooping down with his Umbrella-Copter, and shooting his Umbrella Gun at The Dynamic Duo.

After he and Robin dodged some bullets, Batman fired his Batgrapple at Penguin. It tore through the Umbrella-Copter and had Penguin falling to the ground, slow to get up. Robin Bataranged away the Umbrella Gun and Batman tied The Penguin's arms together with a Batbola.

"Don't you know penguins can't fly?" asked Robin.

"You'll never prove I had anything to do with that explosion," said The Penguin. "I know for a fact that I never handled the bomb."

"True," admitted Batman, "But this fits too perfectly with the Thompsons' vague memories of you shooting and nearly killing them. I'd make a deal."

"Why would you want me to do that?" asked Penguin.

"Because with the help of the police Commissioner," said Batman, "I can see the big picture."

**The Penguin's perspective:**

Now in jail once again, The Penguin was visited by Patricia Franklyn, who had been a District Attorney for nearly a year.

"Here's the deal," said Franklyn. "You're to testify against Moynihan. Tell the judge you tried to kill the Thompsons only because he blackmailed you. That should put him away. In return, we'll admit you into the Witness Protection Program."

"How well-protected will I be?" asked The Penguin.

"Let's get one thing straight," said Franklyn "We'll be protecting the city from you as much as we'll be protecting you from Moynihan and the Traylors. To answer your question, back in the days of the mobs - before the Traylors took them over - we successfully protected many suspects."

The Penguin wasn't sure, so Franklyn stood up and put her hands on her hips. "Speaking of the Traylors, if we still get Moynihan on something, you can play the waiting game."

"I don't like waiting for that," said Penguin.

"Nor should you," said Franklyn. "Considering the alternative, I don't think you have any choice, after all."

The Penguin sighed in resignation. To be wealthy and dead or non-wealthy and alive.

**Batman's perspective:**

Bruce Wayne had called in sick. It was necessary for Batman to use Batoculars to study all the people entering the courthouse on the day of The Penguin's testimony.

_Wait! What about that guy over there?_

Batman used his Batgrapple to lower to a safe distance before dropping on the man with blonde hair and a beard.

"What are you doing?" asked the man. "I've done nothing to you."

Batman punched him in the gut. The grunt of pain revealed a familiar Southern accent.

"Al Traylor," said Batman. "Nice hair dye job, but I pay attention to detail. I think a day in jail is in order. Cobblepot's off limits."

The Penguin's testimony would happen now. Moynihan would pay for what he had done. Penguin would be spirited out of town and placed under federal protection. As for Batman, he had to thank the Commissioner for reminding him of the big picture of justice.

**The Penguin's perspective:**

The Penguin was in rural Arizona. A needle in a haystack for the Traylors to find even if they didn't forget about Moynihan now that their ally could no longer help them.

The only problem was that the upper class lifestyle that The Penguin had known his whole life was over. He was among rural Arizonans who he found very, very strange. This would take some getting used to.

It could have been worse. As DA Franklyn said, the alternative was getting shot by the Traylors.

And in any event, this was what The Penguin had wanted, wasn't it? Another chance at a straight life. Now he had that.


	11. Mayor For Sale

**The Hog's perspective:**

"All goes well," said Yuji Takahan, friend, lawyer, and accountant for the Traylor crime family. "We're about to expand."

"Ah know," said Becky "The Hog" Traylor, the boss. "With us havin' this much power, even Little Bat and his teen prodigies won't be a problem anymore."

"What about City Council?" asked Daisy Thompson, communications expert of the family and cousin of The Hog.

"Our meal ticket's bringin' others in with 'im," said Al, The Hog's brother. "They'll go along with it."

"And we got reality for those who don't," grinned Al's son, Joey.

**Batman's perspective:**

"So we've got an election for Mayor in a couple weeks," said The Batgirl just before she, The Batman, and Robin were to go out on patrol.

"I'm always a last-minute voter," said Batman. "I'm for gun control, pollution controls, against the death penalty, and the Democrats agree. But I believe in more surveillance, police, and in greater discipline in our public schools. These are Republican views. Not that I can name many politicians of either party that I can respect."

"Sounds more like you're fascist on everything," said Alfred. "Joking, joking. When I moved here from my native England, one of the biggest oddities was only two political parties of any significance."

"I don't really care about politics," said Robin. "Kind of boring to me."

"You're young so I'll give you a pass for now," said Batman. "But you should lose shortsightedness quick!"

"You need to listen to this man," agreed Batgirl. "I usually vote Democratic. I know - the daughter of a police commissioner, a Democrat! He sure isn't. Must either be my career in computers or my being a strong, independent woman. I'm not sure."

On the way to Gotham City, the Batsignal began beaming. "Change of plans," Batman said to Robin. Using the Batmobile's built-in phone, he called Batgirl.

"I saw it," said Batgirl. "I know the drill. I'll wait outside the station so he can't recognize me."

Ascending to the top of GCPD HQ by Batgrapple, Batman and Robin saw Commissioner Gordon.

"Who is it this time?" asked Batman. "Joker, Ivy, Two-Face?"

"None of the above," said Gordon."GCPD Intelligence believes but has not procured evidence that Pete Trobotti is in league with the Traylors." Trobotti was the challenger who was leading Mayor John Linseed by three to seven points in the polls. Mayor John Linseed's cowardice and inability to maintain any semblance of order without Batman's help had caught up with him.

"You were right, Batman," said Robin. "This stuff is important."

"What stuff?" asked Gordon.

"Not important," said Batman. "We'll look into this."

After he and Robin had lowered themselves to the ground, Batman told Batgirl, "Pete Trobotti may be in bed with the Traylors."

Batgirl flinched upon hearing that. "This is not good," she said. "If they get a mayor in their pocket, dad, and by extension, the police, will be working for them."

"A lot more than that," said Batman. "This will be our worst nightmare come true. It'll be the whole city against us. I'd better pay The Hog a visit. Alone, so she isn't too defensive to talk."

"You really want to be left alone with a crime boss?" cautioned Robin.

"No, he's right," Batgirl grinned at Robin. "She's in love. She's liable to spill beans if alone with him." She then whispered, "And Batman's apparently attracted to fat women."

"I heard that," said Batman. But if the truth be known, he had to fight back enough feelings when dealing with The Hog that he was not sure whether Batgirl was right.

The Batmobile and Batcycle were parked a safe distance away from The Hog's house. "Don't count on her lust to spare you," warned Batgirl. "Doubt she has any real love in that big body of hers. And for the love of God, don't have sex with her!."

Batman was not amused. "Don't you find The Riddler sexy?" he asked.

"This is not about me," said Batgirl defensively.

"Be careful," Robin tried to break this up.

Batman carefully sneaked through The Hog's lawn, hiding behind bushes and other large greenery whenever possible. He used a Batarang to pick the lock of the front door and entered. The Hog was probably asleep, so maybe he could ambush her and squeeze the truth out of her. Probably not, but there was hope.

"Like ol' times, right Little Bat?"

Batman turned around to see The Hog smiling in a robe and leaning against the wall. Part of Batman's semi-attraction to this woman was because someone with Batman's educated eyes could tell that this lady's more than two hundred and fifty pounds, which significantly outweighed Batman, was mainly muscle. Ignorance was bliss. At least if you were mature enough to not find that intimidating in a woman.

"Me, a couch, your head in my lap," The Hog sat into her plush overstuffed couch and patted her lap invitingly. "All that's left are your broken ribs." Batman wondered if this was to entice or frighten him.

Batman had to let The Hog know that he meant business. "Is Trobotti with you?"

"Ah'm surprised you'd go in that random direction," denied The Hog. "Now, if you're sayin' that things are about to change in Gotham, you're right."

"What things?" asked Batman.

"Let's just say you can get in my lap the easy way or the the hard way," The Hog held out her arms.

"I was thinking the same thing about you spilling it for the cops," said Batman, pounding his right fist into his left hand.

"Great," The Hog got up and cracked her knuckles loudly. She seemed to love Batman's threat. "Ah always did love playin' with you, especially since Ah usually won. And Ah'll really love this. You win, Little Bat, you get nothin'. You wouldn't have the guts to hurt me enough to make me talk, even if you didn't have a sweet spot for me."

"Don't delude yourself," said Batman.

"Where Ah come from, it's horrible to lie to a lady, Yankee," chuckled The Hog. "'Specially one who likes you. If Ah win, which history says Ah probably will, you're mine forever. Ah'll take that cloth off and you'll have to do as Ah say right now to keep your secret."

_Dammit, she's right. I'm not afraid to fight, but I've everything to lose and nothing to gain._ Batman backed away.

"Good choice," said The Hog. "How 'bout another?" She held her arms out again for a few seconds. "No? Then Ah'll be seeing you sooner than you think."

Suddenly, The Hog dropped to the ground to avoid a crossbow bolt that sailed into the couch. It had been shot by The Huntress, who had been hiding in a dark part of the living room where The Hog had never turned on the lights.

The Hog reached into her robe to draw a pistol. The Huntress jumped out a window and high-tailed it away from the house. Batman followed.

Batman saw The Huntress trying to reload her crossbow and tackled her. "What the Hell did you think you were you doing?"

"Putting a stop to what she was pulling," explained The Huntress.

"I can't let you do that," said Batman.

"'Cause you don't have the guts?" asked Huntress. "Or because you're nuts enough to have feelings for that monster?"

"Because it won't work," said Batman. "She's got a bunch of people waiting to take her place."

"If so," said The Huntress, "We should work together to expose the son of bitch who takes orders from her."

"Agreed," Batman said quickly but uneasily.

**The Hog's perspective:**

The Hog smiled as she looked out her window to see Batman and The Huntress leaving. It looked like The Huntress had been preparing to attack her again, but that Batman had talked her out of it.

_He loves me._

"Mom," said The Hog's son, Luke, who was with his sister, Marcia. "We heard shots."

"Ain't nothin' to worry about, critters," said The Hog. "Get back to bed. It's a school night."

The Hog smiled at the children as they walked back to their rooms. They had no memory of their late father, but little did they know that they were soon to have another. When Batman was in prison shortly after the transition of mayors, he would be left with no choice but to accept The Hog and her children.

But that was not the thing to be focused on. At least not at the moment. Gotham was about to belong to the Traylors. The Hog was very proud, for this was the beginning of her doing what Robert E. Lee had tried and failed to do so many generations ago.

The Hog looked at the picture of her late father, Reggie, that hung on the living room wall and pressed her right cheek against it as if in a hug.

_We're doin' it, Papa._

**Batman's perspective:**

It was thirty-eight minutes into the debate between Linseed and Trobotti and so far, it was all Trobotti. He'd had quick answers to every question and had expertly delivered subtle jabs at Linseed all along that nipped without seeming at first sound like they were meant to sting.

"Not the Mayor's night," said Robin. He, Batman, Batgirl, and The Huntress were watching on a portable TV just outside the Batmobile.

"I don't understand," said The Huntress. "It's like he knows all of the questions."

"You're onto something," realized Batgirl. "I think the Traylors somehow leaked the questions and he's been studying not the questions he might get but the questions he _will_ get."

"Unfortunately," said Batman, "We have no proof."

"Then we should squeeze it out of Glass," said The Huntress. Michael Glass was the debate moderator.

"Right now," warned Batman, "We don't even know for sure that Trobotti isn't just that good. And Gothamites have always been divided in opinion on us. Just the way I like it. If those who would be criminals dislike us enough to be scared straight, so much the better! But if we question Glass and come up with nothing, it'll only hurt Linseed."

"He's already about to be behind by a landslide," argued Huntress.

"No, we musn't panic," said Robin.

"Perhaps we should go after the lower Traylors," said Batman. "Ladies, you question Joey. Robin and I have Al."

"Speaking of Robin," The Huntress looked at The Boy Wonder carefully. "You look younger than I remember." Tim Drake actually was younger than his predecessor, Dick Grayson.

"To tell you the truth..." began the new Robin.

"That's not important," interjected Batman. "We have more pressing matters. If the Traylors take control of the city government, they'll be too powerful. Even Superman would struggle to stop them."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

"You're pushy," Batgirl said to The Huntress as they raced towards Joey's house.

"Look," said The Huntress, "Don't count on a perfect working relationship. My plan was to kill The Hog, but Batman stopped me."

"That's not only wrong," said Batgirl, "It's no guarantee."

"Get a better one than looking for a needle in a haystack before you criticize," said Huntress.

The pair reached the house and saw that in a hot tub just outside the place, Joey was having his neck massaged by a lovely, blonde-haired woman. An equally attractive Chinese woman was rubbing his abs.

The two heroines jumped onto the edge of the hot tub and their opponents and his companions took notice.

"Hey, fillies," said Joey nervously. "There's room for two more. 'Specially you, pretty Batgirl."

"Don't call us fillies," rejected Batgirl.

"I don't know which one of you skanks found him first," said The Huntress with contempt, "But if my boyfriend asked me if he could bring a second girl on a date, I'd knock his ass out! In the house!" She pointed at it.

"Go," said Joey. His lovers complied. "So how can Ah help you ladies?"

"Information," answered Batgirl.

"Lemme guess," grinned Joey. "You think my family's the reason Pete just kicked that dumbass Linseed's ass! We ain't got nothin' to do with it."

The Huntress smiled. "Tough guy, but there's a way to make any man talk. Help me get 'im out, Batgirl."

"What are you?" asked Joey as the women pulled him out of the tub.

"You wanted a job on your nuts?" asked The Huntress. Joey seemed pleased to hear that before Huntress kicked him in the groin.

"You want some more?" asked The Huntress.

"She keeps this up," Batgirl tried to use Joey's manhood against him in another way, "Those girls are gonna be awfully disappointed tonight."

"Ah don't doubt this works on Yankee boys," chuckled Joey through pain. "But Ah'm a loyal Traylor. Castrate me if you want, but Ah ain't betrayin' the family, hear?"

Batgirl gave Joey a kick to the groin. Joey kept smiling. The Huntress took another kick at it.

"Ah think Ah'm getting used to this," Joey said weakly but comfortably.

_Uh-oh! He's adapting to the pain. What do we do now?_

"We're not sunk yet," said The Huntress unstrapping her crossbow from her back.

"We can't..." began Batgirl.

"Don't worry," interrupted Huntress. "I'm not killing anybody. First, I gut him with a bolt. He'll try to be brave. But the pain won't kill right away. It'll hurt more and more. He'll find his breaking point."

"This is cruel and unusual," said Joey.

"Yeah," agreed The Huntress as she took aim.

After kicking the crossbow away as Huntress began to load it, Batgirl cried, "Get out of here!" Still in swimming trunks, Joey ran to his car and drove away.

"What the Hell do you think you were doing?" thundered The Huntress.

"You went too far," said Batgirl.

"Are you going to gamble that we don't have to go very far to save Gotham?" asked The Huntress.

Batgirl wanted to say that it was not a gamble, but she was not actually sure.

"Your silence is deafening," said Huntress. "I'll wait to do what needs to be done, but if it comes to that, don't try to stop me."

_Great! No progress and seeds of discord have been sown. May the guys have better luck._

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman and Robin entered Bobby's, a bar frequented by Al Traylor, The Hog's brother. "Why's everybody scared?" asked Al. "Realizin' the leverage Ah got over this..." Al suddenly noticed The Dynamic Duo. "Oh, she-ut!"

Al tried to run, but he'd had too many drinks to be very fast. Batman caught Al by the right arm and threw him over his own shoulder. "You're coming with us," said Batman.

"Friends don't let friends drive drunk," added Robin.

Upon leaving the bar, Batman slammed Al against the outside wall. "You can do what you want with me, but Ah ain't betrayin' any member of the family, least of all my sister."

Batman stared at him hard for twelve minutes. Al wasn't breaking, so Batman socked him across the jaw.

"Can Ah have another?" asked Al bravely.

Batman obliged. Punch after punch landed. Al was unconscious without talking.

"Whoever said, 'There's no honor among thieves' never heard of this family," said Robin.

"They may have a twisted since of rural ethics," said Batman, "But they remain bad people. If Trobotti is elected and The Hog seizes power through him, she will bleed Gotham dry with an iron fist!"

"You know," suggested Robin "We could take them out."

Batman glared at him. "I don't want to fuel the fire. I want to put out the fire. Don't ever suggest that again."

"Sorry," squeaked Robin.

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

It was election night.

The GCPD and Batman had kept trying, but they weren't able to find evidence tying Pete Trobotti to the Traylors. Gordon had expressed his belief of the connection, but lacking proof, most assumed that this a losing incumbent Mayor's last gasp through Gordon. Little did they know that Gordon had no love for John Linseed. He was your typical lightly corrupt, cowardly politician, caring about nothing but the latest opinion polls. But Gordon trusted him to not willingly conspire with the mafia.

"Is there any hope?" asked Gordon to Lieutenant Marc Freeman, who he'd had call Linseed's campaign office for his last.

"Trobotti fifty-eight percent," said Freeman grimly, "Linseed forty percent. Give or take a few points."

"Morons," yelled Bullock, kicking a wall. "They don't trust the Commish over an upstart politician? After all he's done fer 'em?"

"Maybe if what they want is literal mob rule," concurred Freeman, "It's what they deserve."

"L-let's not be so negative," said Sargeant Montoya, although her face reeked of denial. "Even if the polls are right, what about the City Council?"

"The Hog has too many councilmen in her pocket," lamented Gordon. "One way or another. As pathetic as it is, Linseed was the only one standing between The Hog and Gotham. But official tonight, he'll be out of her way two months from now."

Election coverage began on a local station.

"First precincts are reporting," said Michael Broun, a newsman. "These are in Linseed territory, so don't be shocked yet. In fact, he's actually under-preforming his expectations."

"True," said newswoman Janice Rodgers, "But other surprises could be on the way. Stay with us."

"Yeah, right," said Bullock. "I know a funeral when I see one."

And sure enough, over the next two hours, Trobotti would rebound to a sixty-three to thirty-five lead in percentages. The rest had gone to hopeless third party candidates, write-ins, and joke votes for cartoon characters.

Gordon's phone rang. He answered.

"Hey, old man," said the female, Southern voice. "Been awhile. Don't think we've met since..."

"The last time we pinched you," offered Gordon.

"Sounds about right," laughed The Hog. "Now the tables are about to turn. Ah got a feelin' Trobotti ain't got no use for you. Don't worry. Ah know most of your old friends back in Chicago are retired or dead, but a cop who needs masked vigilantes can at least get janitorial work. Wherever you go, whatever you do, stay outta my town. Ah ain't got no Southern hospitality for you."

_She's right. I'm viewed as an overrated Commissioner by the law enforcement community. Not that my detractors wouldn't change their tune if they knew it was like out here._

"Are you done gloating?" asked Gordon.

"Just about," said The Hog. "Tell your top dogs they can forget about your job. And tell Little Bat Ah ain't waitin' for him much longer. Ain't lettin' 'im go, either." She hung up.

Gordon's heart sank.

"Who was it?" asked Montoya.

"Becky 'The Hog' Traylor just called," said Gordon. "She says that after Trobotti takes office, I'm fired. Apparently, she picks my replacement."

The others' eyes deadened at this revelation. "Isn't someone going to tell me that I'm giving up too easily?" snapped Gordon.

Those were the last words any of them said to each other all night.

**Bruce's perspective:**

Since Barbara Gordon was home this time of night to maintain Batgirl's cover, and The Huntress didn't even know where the Batcave was, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, and Alfred were watching the election returns together.

"No mathematical way to change the results now," said Rodgers.

"Mm-hmm," said Broun. "We project that when all the votes are cast, Pete Trobotti will be the next Mayor of Gotham city!"

"Looks like the biggest landslide this city had ever been," said Rodgers, "But useless trivia for political dorks - it's not. The Mayoral elections of..."

Bruce turned off the TV.

"Not that into history?" asked Tim.

"I believe in reading history," said Bruce. "It's just that this isn't an election. It's a funeral. Never before have we failed in such a manner!"

"Yes, Master Bruce," said a glum Alfred. "The end of The Batman's war with the Traylors. But instead of them being put away once and for all..."

"Don't finish that sentence," Bruce cut him off. "It'll all work out."

"How?" asked a doubtful Tim.

"Because somehow it has to."

**The Hog's perspective:**

It was done. After four years in Gotham, ultimate glory that dearly departed Reggie could never have imagined when he moved the family business from South Carolina to Gotham city was upon the Traylor crime family.

The drinking and hooting was well underway in The Hog's office at the Traylor-owned restaurant, Country Buffet. "What did the geezer say?" grinned Al.

"Wasn't much Gordon could say," laughed The Hog. She hugged Al. "He knew we'd won and he was terminated. Wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. If only Papa could have lived to see this great night."

"After we've looted the city treasury," asked Daisy with a romantic smile, "What about tall, dark, and handsome?"

"You mean my Little Bat?" asked The Hog. Daisy nodded. "He's been seen around enough crime scenes and broken enough laws like breakin' and enterin' and stalkin' to spend the rest of his career around people way worse than us. Ah'll be the only friend who can help him. Everybody here knows my price."

"Ah like that redhead he hangs out with," said Joey, looking at The Hog with puppy eyes. "Ah don't mean nothin' by that."

"Now nephew," The Hog rubbed the hair on Joey's head, which felt as smooth as when he was eight. "Since when ain't Ah done lots for you, much less been a selfish person? Remember all those times Ah bought you video games or went to amusement parks with you when you were a boy? Ah'll fix The Batgirl for you."

"Thanks, Aunt Becky," said Joey, taking The Hog's hand and kissing it.

"Ah never could say no to you," blushed The Hog. "Think nothin' of it."

"Remember," said Al, "Ah want grandkids."

"Looks like we're living happily ever after," said Yuji. But no sooner had he said that when the office was plunged into darkness.

"Nobody panic," shouted The Hog , turning on her phone. "Turn on, you sumbitch! Turn on!" It finally did so. The Hog shined the phone around. No new horror seemed to have entered the office. Everyone was accounted for

Everyone except Al. "Dad?" asked a scared Joey.

"Start calling his name," ordered The Hog.

Everyone in the room began calling, "Al, Al, Al," except Joey who called, "Dad, Dad, Dad." Finally, the lights came back on. The Hog got a call.

"Power went out," said the worker. "Apologies."

"No more outages, ya hear?" demanded The Hog.

"Ah told you to spring for air fare for the honest workers of the Midwest or especially South," chastised Daisy. "We'll save money in the long run."

"Or not," said Yuji, pointing to an envelope taped to the carpet before opening it and reading the enclosed note out loud: "Dear rednecks far away home. If you ever want to see your second in command again, have Trobotti confess his crimes and refuse the Mayor's Mansion. If he doesn't, you'll get Al back in pieces. A left finger tomorrow. Tonsils on Thursday. The entire right arm on Friday. A leg on Saturday. And I hope you enjoy that college football that you hillbillies love so much on Saturdays, because you get Al's head on Sunday.

Everyone was in shock. "Who did this to my dad?" asked Joey.

"Isn't it obvious," said Yuji. "There's a few people in town capable of this. None would do it without The Batman's approval."

"Ah didn't think Little Bat had it in him," said The Hog.

"Ah'm not sayin' cave into him," said Joey, "But we can't let Dad die lightly."

"Shut up, boy," said The Hog. "Nobody's lettin' nobody die. Ah know Little Bat well. He ain't never gonna carry out those threats. This is his last gasp! You'll see. He'll rough Al up, but that's it. No matter how desperate Batman is, he'll never kill. Never."

"Yeah, you're right, Aunt Becky."

"Damn right I'm right."

**Al Traylor's perspective:**

Knowing Batman, The Hog had no reason to doubt how true those words were. Al woke up tied to a bed and blindfolded. "Really desperate, Bats. It ain't gonna work. Ah'll die before Ah sell out my family. Not that it matters. You ain't got it in you."

Al heard footsteps. As he sensed his abductor was looking straight down on him, he said, "C'mon, Bats. Say somethin', or do you realize you're through and won't admit it?"

Within seconds, Al screamed in pain.

**The Hog's perspective:**

The following afternoon, Yuji entered with a small box. "For you, Mrs. Traylor," he presented it.

The Hog opened the box and gasped as she laid eyes on a dismembered ring finger. "He wasn't bluffin'," The Hog realized. "He's actually playin' tough this time."

"Don't do it," said Yuji, slapping The Hog's desk and looking her hard in the eyes.

"You expect me to abandon my own brother when he needs my help?" asked The Hog.

"What would your father have done?" asked Yuji.

The Hog thought. Wiping away a tear, she said, "He would have done what was best for his family and the people who work for it."

Yuji nodded.

"Get Joey in," ordered The Hog. "Ah'll try to make 'im understand. No promises."

Joey came in. "Holy hen shit," he said as The Hog showed him his father's finger.

"To ensure our hold over this town," said The Hog. "Ah just have to hope Batman won't go all the way unless we can pull off some God-given sluthin'. You understand, right?"

Joey said nothing. The Hog couldn't tell if he could not accept that or could not bring himself to verbally agree with what he knew was the wise thing to do.

"Tell me you understand," implored The Hog. "We gotta do it. Ah beg you, tell me we have to regard my brother as a casualty."

For a moment, Joey looked like he would grant his aunt's request. Then he burst into tears. "D-don't worry, Aunt Becky," he said. "Ah'll live."

"Not happily," said The Hog. "Ah see now that Ah shouldn't have asked. 'Sides, after all these years, Ah can't say no to you, no matter what you think you wanna say. There'll be another election in four years. Another day."

She picked her phone and called Pete Trobotti, the Mayor-Elect. "Hello," said Trobotti.

"Pete," said The Hog firmly, "Ah'm sorry. Ah know this is what you've worked your whole life for, but you gotta admit to mafia ties in a way that don't finger us. Go ahead and tie up the courts after the fact to save yourself, but you can't be Mayor. Ah'm sorry."

"Becky..." tried Trobotti.

"Don't you 'Becky' me," said The Hog. "Al's been kidnapped by The Batman. And Ah got a cryin' nephew who's scared he's gonna lose his father."

"My heart goes out to you," said Trobotti. "If I had a brother or sister..."

"You don't," said The Hog, "So zip it up and turn yourself in. Or you can look behind your shoulder for the rest of your life. For pretty girls, NSA guy." She hung up.

"Now we wait," said The Hog to Joey. "If your papa still dies, Pete's followin' him to the grave!"

"Thank you a hundred times," said Joey before he went back to work. A few hours later, Trobotti had confessed. Not forty minutes passed after that when Al had taken a cab back to Country Buffet.

"You're all right," screamed Joey.

"Gonna hafta see a doctor about this," Al showed his missing ring finger to the others, "But Ah'll get there." Joey wasted no more time running at and hugging him.

The Hog smiled. She had sacrificed a lot to save her brother, but from how happy her nephew was to see him, The Hog knew it was worth it.

"We could've had Gotham," whispered a bitter Yuji.

"Gotham ain't nearly enough," said The Hog.

But that didn't mean that she would allow a defeat this severe to go unanswered. Batman had crossed the line. The Hog knew she had to snap out of her crush on The Dark Knight and take care of him once and for all!

**Bruce's perspective:**

"This is quite an unexpected twist in Gotham politics," said Lucius Fox.

"Didn't you expect a landslide?" asked Bruce.

"Turns out he feels guilty about his mob connections and resigned. His young candidate for Deputy Mayor, Charles Falsootu, hasn't been around long enough to get corrupt, will be the next Mayor. Interesting..."

"Yes," said Bruce. "Very interesting." It was a fortuitous break that had saved the city, but it also made no sense. Perhaps Batman should question The Hog about it.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman entered The Hog's through a window to see her reading a digital book in bed. "You got a lotta nerve," said the female mob boss in barely restrained anger. "Well, congrats. You thwarted me. But how do you sleep at night? He was my brother. You used him to make me surrender. And you'd have killed him slowly and painfully. Ah may not be an angel, but Ah'd never in million years do nothin' like that!"

"Hog," began Batman.

"Shut the Hell up," said The Hog. "Ah loved you 'cause despite your refusal to understand what it takes to get ahead in the South, where there ain't no opportunities, Ah thought you were a good man. Desperate times, desperate measures. You've fallen, Batman."

"Whatever happened to 'Little Bat?'" asked Batman.

"You answered that question when you kidnapped my brother and cut his finger off," said The Hog. "Why stop there? How about my kids? Or better yet, cripple my family with neither they nor Joey ready to take over and Al not bein' a leader? Kill me here and now. Just like you'd have killed my brother if Ah hadn't caved in?"

"Whatever you believe," said Batman simply, "I'm not backing down."

The Hog stretched her back and cracked her knuckles. Batman fired his Batgrapple at her, but years of fighting Batman had enabled her to read his body language well enough to dodge just before the grappling hook fired and drag Batman hard into a wall by the cable, denting that wall.

"Yeah, you can have the next dance," said The Hog said as a hurt Batman tried to stand. The Hog locked her hands together between Batman's back and cape to put him in The Hug. "Even if after all these years, you still don't know the steps."

Batman felt tremendous pain in his ribs. This hurt even more than in the past. Then again, The Hog had never been so angry with him.

"Ah should've gutted you like my namesake a long time ago," The Hog spit in Batman's face. "Ah liked you too much. You've taken advantage of my feelings for the last time. Tonight, Ah rip you in half!" Sure enough, Batman heard crackling throughout his rib cage. Whatever he did, he had to do it now! He was in a tight spot, literally and figuratively.

"I didn't kidnap your brother," said Batman. He didn't think that was the big move he needed. Nonetheless, the pressure on him immediately loosened. The Hog looked hard at The Dark Knight for a few seconds, then released him.

**The Hog's perspective:**

As Batman clutched his aching ribs, The Hog said, "Ah can look deep into you 'cause Ah know you so well. Like a girlfriend, deny it if you want. Ah see it wasn't you." In fact, she sensed that Batman knew no more than she did.

Both of them thought for a moment before The Hog finally said, "If you ain't the kidnapper, who the Hell is?"

"I've thought of a suspect," said Batman.

"Who is he?" asked The Hog.

"I'll deal with this person," said Batman.

"Figures," said The Hog, still trying to figure it out. Perhaps she could make it up to Batman for wrongly attacking him, worm her way into his heart, and find out the kidnapper in one fell swoop. "You're hurt. How about Ah make them - better?" Batman was gone.

_Ah hate it when he does that! And love it, too!_

**Batman's perspective:**

Something inside Batman told him that he ought not to take either Batgirl or Robin on this job.

He had analyzed the pattern of Huntress sightings and believed he knew where she would be, Sure enough, he saw The Huntress and her motorcycle in the distance. Batman stopped the Batmobile and said on his loudspeaker, "Huntress, I want to talk. Don't make me chase you."

The Huntress got off her motorcycle and walked towards Batman, only to be felled by a gas pellet launched from the Batmobile.

Batman bound The Huntress, took her to an alley near GCPD HQ, then awakened her. She sat up but could not get out of her handcuffs and leg ropes "Considering how everything turned out," said The Huntress, "I'd think you'd be happier than this."

"You were the one who kidnapped Al Traylor, weren't you?" said Batman. "Don't lie to me."

"What the Hell difference does it make?" asked The Huntress.

"It does to me," said Batman righteously. "Was this your plan all along?"

"I had hopes we could do it the old-fashioned way," said Huntress, "But then we ran out of time and I had no choice."

"Removing a finger is enough that I'd feel guilty about not turning you in," said Batman. "Would you have at least not killed him?"

"Never take a hostage that you won't shoot," said Huntress. Batman kicked her in the head. "God dammit, Batman. It was the only way!"

"We don't even know that it worked," sneered Batman. "It still won't be Linseed who becomes Mayor. It's Falsootu."

"And he's watching," said Huntress. "A wave of mob scandals is breaking even as we speak. You think he wants to be associated with them? On the other hand, you take me in, it'll taint the entire case. Becky 'The Hog' Traylor will be the Duchess of Gotham after all."

"I don't want that to happen," said Batman.

"Then you have to let this go," said The Huntress. "Don't feel so bad. Sometimes, the right thing isn't the required thing. Walk away from all this. And if your conscience ever bothers you again, remind yourself that the we proved that Gotham isn't for sale. At the cost of one gangster's finger and one crimefighter's sense of total innocence."

"Only one?" asked Batman, curiously.

"I don't feel the least bit guilty," smiled Huntress. "I'm positively at peace. Frankly, you should be thankful that I did something you couldn't but had to be done."

"Don't push your luck," said Batman. Still, he removed The Huntress' bindings. No more words were exchanged.

Upon careful thought, Batman had to admit that The Huntress was right about one thing. Keeping Gotham out of mafia rule was worth a guilty conscience.

As The Huntress started the engine of her motorcycle, she shouted, "See you around, Batman!"

Somehow, Batman felt that he should not return the good-bye or even look at The Huntress, lest he succumb to righteous temptation.


	12. The Joker's Thanksgiving Bash

**The Joker's perspective:**

Another escape from Arkham Asylum, another caper.

The Joker fired two shots from his pistol to keep The Batman, Batgirl, and Robin away from him and his girlfriend and accomplice, Harley Quinn. They ducked into an aisle of the store, The Red Dragon, they were attempting to rob and stood back-to-back to make it harder to ambush them.

"Get the bomb," whispered The Joker. "We're gonna sneak out of here but not without making some fireworks for Bats and his kids!"

"Bomb?" whispered Harley. "You didn't say nothin' about a bomb, Puddin'."

_Aw, shit! That's right. Feds finally got my cash so we've had to be thrifty this time. Damn! How do cheapskates live?_

But then they saw Batman on the top of a nearby merchandise gondola and shot at him. Batman dropped off on the other side of the rows without making a sound, so Joker couldn't tell if they'd gotten him or not. "Just in case," said The Clown Prince of Crime, preparing to shoot through the wood at where Batman would have landed.

Suddenly, two Batarangs knocked both archcriminals' guns to the ground. dive-bombing kicks from Batman and Robin from the top of the opposite rows of the aisle knocked Joker and Harley away from one another.

"I think you need a waiting period for firearms," said Batgirl.

"Nice trick," Harley had to admit.

"Here's another," said Joker. "How to make a bat and bird disappear." He squeezed his suit flower and gas came out.

"Move," screamed Batgirl, grabbing Robin's wrist and dragging him along on a retreat. "They're immune. It won't hurt them."

"By the way," taunted Joker as he retrieved his pistol, "I see you're back, kid. Reincarnation? That's an unnatural condition that Dr. 'J' should cure." He laughed at his own joke about how he thought he had killed Robin but apparently not. The reader may know that it was in fact another boy, Tim Drake, who had donned the costume of another, the late Jason Todd.

"Ain't it time to go?" asked Harley, shaking her boyfriend by the suit jacket.

The Joker pointed his gun at her. "Who's the boss of this relationship?"

"Y-you are, Mistah 'J,'" said Harley, meekly. Still, the couple ran out of The Red Dragon, and drove away in their convertible. The Batmobile and Batcycle were soon in pursuit.

**Harley Quinn's perspective:**

As Harley drove away, she looked back to see the pursuing vehicles gaining. "Y'know, we'd have gotten 'em if you'd gotten that bomb," she said.

"Don't say that," said The Joker, pounding the door on the passenger's side with his elbow. Afraid, Harley shut up.

"We're tight, remember, blonde idiot?" asked Joker, now angry like a husband in an arguments. "Besides, we don't need high-tech to escape." Harley saw through her rear view mirror that The Joker had gotten the pail of tar out of the backseat floorboard where they had left it and poured to leave a large puddle of tar that covered the entirety of the road over a brief distance.

The Batmobile was slowed to a crawl, but Batgirl had managed to jump the Batcycle over the tar and was still in pursuit. Unfortunately for her, it's next to impossible to thoroughly armor a motorcycle's wheels, unlike a car's. So after reloading his pistol, The Joker shot the Batcycle's front wheel to drop it and Batgirl to the ground.

"Will the next Batgirl be a blonde or brunette?" laughed The Joker as he aimed for the head. Just then, the Batmobile's power winch hooked onto the rear bumper of Joker's car. The feedback from the instant stop launched him out of the car.

"Puddin'," Harley got out to help her lover up. She sighed in relief upon realizing that The Joker was alright. "That thing can reach this far?"

"It can now," realized The Joker. "They haven't won anything. They'll never run us over, Harley. We keep our guns and firing stances, we got this." Sure enough, Batman and Robin came out of the Batmobile even though it was back up to speed. Gotham's three defenders of justice slowly advanced towards their enemies.

"This time we gotcha, right Mistah 'J'," Harley grinned with determination. No answer. "Mistah..." Harley saw that The Joker was pulling further and further away on foot.

"Ya desertin' pussy! Ya disloyal 'boyfriend!' Ya Judas! Ya... clown!" As Harley shouted these insults, she began shooting at her "puddin." Blinded by sorrow, hatred, and shock, all of her shots missed; The Joker vanished into the distance.

"Don't go to sleep Mistah 'J,'" yelled Harley. "I'm gonna beat 'em to you. An' then, you really will be puddin'!" She laughed sadistically for a few seconds before falling to her knees, burying her face in her hands, and crying.

It is important to understand that The Joker was everything to Harley Quinn. That is not an exaggeration. For the man she loved, Harley had given up her promising career in psychology and allowed The Joker to turn her into a female counterpart to himself. Harley's great reward was to be abandoned in her hour of need. It hurt worse than the fist of Batman ever could.

**Batman's perspective:**

"I can't believe I'm saying this," whispered Robin, "But I actually feel sorry for her."

"So you should," said Batman. "She wasn't always bad. Not until The Joker seduced her."

"I've known girls who hooked up with the wrong guy," said Batgirl with sympathy. "I say we talk."

They walked up to a crying Harley. "It's better this way," said Batman. "You can cooperate with treatment and start over. You don't need him."

"That's right," said Batgirl. "You're strong. He just convinced you that you were weak. You're not."

"And there's millions of other guys in this town," Robin chimed in. "Who needs The Joker?"

Harley seemed to be touched by the soothing words and said, "I guess. Yeah, I never should've started with 'im. I'm over the smilin' bastard forever!"

The police took Harley away soon enough. "One down," said Robin. "Rest of the madhouse to go!"

"I wouldn't be so sure," said Batgirl. "Too often, these women just need a fake apology that usually wouldn't fool a naively trusting missionary and they're back with their dangerous men."

"Agreed," concurred Batman grimly. "With the hold The Joker had over Quinn, I fear we haven't heard the last from her. But she's not our concern now. The man who ruins lives like hers for sport is still out there somewhere."

**The Hog's perspective:**

Becky "The Hog" Traylor had not had a good month.

First, her brother, Al Traylor, lost his left ring finger. Then The Hog had been blackmailed by The Huntress into forcing her puppet Mayor-Elect to give up the office. Then the confessions of Pete Trobotti left the Gotham politicians who once worked with The Hog not so willing to cooperate anymore, lest they be caught with all eyes on them. Finally, The Hog's nephew, Joey walked her into her office.

The Joker sat in The Hog's chair, his feet propped on the desk. "Should Ah call security?" asked Joey.

The Hog knew that Country Buffet's security guards were no match for The Joker. "Hell, no. They got families. Go about your business, Joey. Ah'll handle this." Joey left and The Hog walked towards the desk. "What do you want, clown?"

"Clown?" asked The Joker, obviously feigning offense. "How they forget when they make it. Didn't we work together two years ago?"

"You blew the perfect opportunity," said The Hog.

"As I recall," chuckled Joker, "You wouldn't let us do Bats. What is it with you women and throwing everything away for love?"

"Speakin' of which," The Hog suddenly wanted to change the subject, "Where's that blonde you're usually with?"

"Bats had us cornered again," said The Joker. "Luckily, I had a patsy."

The Hog frowned. "You're scum, you know that?" The Joker was laughing.

"Am I?" asked The Joker through his own laughter. "Or do I not deny what I am behind false family honor?"

"If you wanna die," The Hog began before rethinking her words. "N'mind. You're so crazy you'd probably like it. 'Nuff banter. To business. First, get your goddamn feet off my desk!"

The Joker's only answer was to smile even more broadly. "Fine," sighed The Hog. "Second, if Ah wanna trade insults, Ah can wait for Little Bat or the fat cop's next visit."

"Look who's talking," said The Joker.

"That sumbitch Bullock's fat," corrected The Hog. "This is over two hundred fifty pounds o' muscle. Like Ah said before, you got a reason for bein' here?"

"Thanksgiving's coming," said The Joker. "I'm celebrating by showing Bats and the 'good' Commissioner what they have to be thankful for at the moment. You loan me the money and equipment and I'll show them that they shouldn't have taken their kids for granted." The Joker laughed hysterically.

"Not so loud," said The Hog, pounding on the desk. "Ah can't be seen workin' with you. "So you mean Gordon's kids and Robin."

"Not Robin," explained The Joker. "I killed him. This is an impostor."

"You mean he just picked up some random kid and put a costume on him?" The Hog asked incredulously.

"Of course not," said Joker. "Reincarnation."

The Hog's jaw dropped. "That is the dumbest theory Ah have ever heard. Sounds like a man's ego at work to me."

"You've seen metahumans but can't believe in reincarnation?" asked The Joker.

"And you know Ah don't like to hurt children," said The Hog.

"I'll throw in a live Batman," promised Joker. "After all, I'd love to see him get dominated by you."

"Ah'm thinkin'," The Hog folded her arms.

_Little Bat, children. Little Bat, children. Little Bat, children._

"Bring me Little Bat, alive and well," The Hog made her offer. "Do what you want with the others."

"Deal," said The Joker. "Have it delivered to the old closed amusement park in Brunsford County tomorrow morning." That was one of the rural areas just outside of town. The Joker left.

The Hog got in her chair and summoned Al. When he arrived, The Hog said, "We're workin' with The Joker now."

"Ah don't suppose sayin' this is a bad idea will do any good?" asked Al.

"Don't worry," said The Hog. "Ah don't trust that psychotic Yankee any more than you. Your hand good?"

"Ah've just about gotten used to four fingers on this hand." Al showed it to The Hog.

"Ew," said The Hog as she saw the severed ring finger. "The Joker's holed up in an abandoned amusement park in Brunsford County. Deliver forty thousand dollahs there and keep an eye on him."

"Will do," promised Al.

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

The unblemished nineteenth straight Thanksgiving for Barbara at the house of her father, Commissioner James Gordon, was by far the hardest to enjoy. The get-together with James and little brother Jimmy, turkey, parade, and football games were all fun, except, The Joker was on the loose, and The Batgirl was taking this day off. She felt bad, but she had to keep up appearances. There was absolutely nothing else that could make Barbara even think about missing this occasion, and James, of course, had taken the day off, too.

Even Batman was off-duty. Tycoons may not have had the most physically hard of work, but their hours were long. For Bruce Wayne to miss Thanksgiving would have been extremely suspicious.

So Barbara cooked the food her father had bought. Barbara liked this arrangement, since it kept her mind off The Joker. Soon enough, it was time to eat.

"Mmm," complimented James. "I don't know why your mother didn't like your cooking."

"She was always the stricter one," recalled Jimmy. "But yeah, good eats, big sister."

The conversation was interrupted by a doorbell. "I didn't invite anyone else," said James. He walked over to the door and looked through the peephole before walking back to the table. "Kids, it's The Joker. I think I told you about him many times before. Maybe the most dangerous and definitely most insane man in town. Out the back. I'll be fine once backup..."

James stopped as much harder knocking began. "Now, is Thanksgiving a time to keep friends out?" called The Joker outside. "By the way, for a target like you, you could use a more secure home. This wood could never stop a bullet." James finally let him and his two goons in.

"What lovely children," said The Joker. "Are you thankful for them on this Thanksgiving?"

"Don't you dare," said James, knocking Joker down to one knee with a right cross. But just before James would have finished the job, The Joker's men assaulted him. James was sprawling on the ground.

"Don't, please," pleaded Barbara.

"Somebody help," shouted Jimmy.

Somebody did. Somebody shocking, for The Joker said, "Enough. He has to live to get the point."

"What point?" asked Barbara.

"That he should have been more thankful for you," explained Joker. "On this occasion, he's going to learn what it's like to be without you."

"No," screamed James. "They've done nothing to you."

_If only you knew, Dad._

"Take me instead," said James.

The Joker laughed out loud. "You actually think begging for mercy will work on me? And they say I'm insane!" He drew a pistol. "I know you have Bats on your phone's address list. Have him come to Steiner Avenue. With his brat. No cops. Come along, children. Otherwise..." he shot one of his men dead.

It was now "only" two against one. Barbara liked those odds. Correction: _Batgirl _liked them. She could get out of this and possibly bring The Joker in by herself. But not Barbara Gordon. Babs had to pretend that she was helpless.

"Only The Batman can save them now," The Joker said heroically before laughing again.

_That's right, Joker! Step into it. I may not be able to stop you without blowing my cover, but there won't be any sneaky way out like that when Batman and Robin come._

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

James paced back and forth, lit cigarette in his mouth, as he waited for Batman to answer the Batsignal.

"Stop smoking," said Batman from behind. Gordon snapped around.

"Coffee doesn' calm my nerves," said Gordon. "Maybe after I'm retired, whether I quit on my own volition or I am fired."

"It won't be because you're fired, Commissioner," said Robin.

"You've matured," said Gordon with a smile. Because he remembered Robin being less well-behaved. "Come to think of it, I remember you being a little taller."

"What did you call us for?" asked Batman quickly.

"The Joker has taken my children," explained Gordon. "He's threatening to kill them and do the same to Robin. Wants to show us how thankful we should have been for our young people. He wants you specifically, Batman. As much as I should be in on this, he's refused to allow anyone from my police force to go."

"And he'd spot you," said Batman.

"The grinning son of a bitch is holding them on Steiner Avenue," explained Gordon. "That's all he said. Again, I'm sorry I can't..." Batman was gone.

**Batman's perspective: **

Batman and Robin were driving towards Steiner Avenue. "To lead us to our deaths," figured Batman. "He must be planning to give us a sign because the street name isn't much to go on. When we get that sign, you have to promise that you'll stay behind."

"Because of what happened to Jason?" guessed Robin. "I won't make the mistakes he made."

"I don't doubt your intentions," acknowledged Batman. "But you're too new at this. Moreover, the violent prankster is clearly planning to target you. No more arguments. It was hard enough to explain to Tim Drake's father that Bruce Wayne needs Tim's help on a Thanksgiving. I can't tell him I got you killed. Your only concern is to stay alive. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," acquiesced a reluctant Robin.

They arrived. "Welcome," The Joker's voiced boomed over a loudspeaker in a store that he had presumably taken over. "So glad you could make it. Come in. Two kids are waiting for an autograph from their hero!"

Batman got the "joke." "Remember," he said to Robin. "You have to wait." Batman entered the store and saw Barbara and Jimmy tied together in chairs.

"I never outgrew the coyote who's obsessed with road runners and explosions," said Joker. "Time for an homage." Batman knew what that meant. He started running towards Barbara and Jimmy when The Joker's voice started counting down, "Ten, nine,"

_No time to untie them by hand. We're about to see just how skilled I am._

Batman Batgrappled up the ceiling and threw a Batarang at the ropes. The throw had to be perfect. It was. The prisoners were free, but Jimmy wasn't moving.

"Seven, six," counted The Joker.

"We've gotta go," shouted Barbara to a deliriously scared Jimmy.

"Allow me," offered Batman as he picked Jimmy up. He and Barbara ran out of the place just in time to escape the explosion that destroyed the store. That was all Jimmy could take. He had passed out from shock.

"Poor boy," said Barbara. "Some people aren't cut out for this kind of life."

"One of The Batgirl's costume's in the trunk," whispered Batman with a nod.

"Good," whispered Barbara. "I'm gonna make Joker pay!"

But when they returned to the Batmobile, Batman was shocked to see Robin gone. Instead, there was a note on the hood. "In the car," said Batman, using the remote control in his belt to open the front shield so Barbara could get in and Batman could put Jimmy in her lap. Batman checked to see if anyone was nearby. No one was, so he got Barbara's Batsuit out of the trunk, gave it to her, and closed the shield.

As Barbara suited up, Batman read the note:

Dear Batman,  
I see you're too busy for kids  
at the moment, so I took Robin  
to have fun at my amusement park  
at Brunsford County on your behalf.  
I hope that's all right with you.

Batman crumpled up the note and entered the Batmobile. A few seconds had passed before Batgirl asked, "What did the note say?"

Batman said nothing.

"What?" Batgirl raised her voice.

This was not easy for Batman. "I made Tim stay behind. Apparently, that gave The Joker the opportunity to kidnap him."

"Why couldn't he come?" asked Batgirl. "Wait. Let me guess. You were too scared The Joker might do to him what he did to Jason. And leaving Tim alone might be the reason that happens. If I didn't have to take care of my unconscious brother right now, I'd hit you!"

"I'd deserve it," Batman had to admit.

**Robin's perspective:**

Robin awakened in an unknown room. He saw The Joker appearing to do paperwork. This seemed like an opportunity, but it looked too easy. Why knock out but not kill or even unmask a disguised opponent if you're not even going to keep an eye on him? Moreover, why would a criminal do paperwork? This was a profession appealing to those looking for a way out of real work.

The Joker spun around on his chair to face Robin. "So glad you could make it, young man," he said festively. "I see you're the most cautious boy to wear that monkey suit so far."

"What makes you think..." Robin tried to lead Joker further away from his true identity.

"Please," The Joker made a spitting sound. "Don't insult me. I've been running into you kids for years and can spot details. The first Robin I could respect. Had a great sense of humor. Bats could've learned something from his student. By the way, where is that kid these days? He grow out of that?"

"Basically, yes," said Robin. What he left out was that Dick Grayson, the first Robin, had moved to Bludhaven and become Nightwing.

"With Batman's help," continued The Joker, "He embarrassed me. Had a good laugh at my expense. I wish I knew where to find him. Then I'd get him back. In good fun, of course."

The Joker followed that with a wicked chuckle. Robin glared.

"On a delightfully negative note," said Joker, "I went up against a different one a year later. He was cocky. Got a paper cut in his skull." He burst out laughing. "Sorry. I just kill myself sometimes! Paper cut in his skull."

"And now you're gonna do the same thing to me?" asked Robin.

"Not before we have a good time," said The Joker. "Take off your belt and try to get out of the amusement park you're in. "I've got traps and men prepared for you on the way out."

"What if I refuse?" asked Robin.

The Joker sprayed a line of acid out of his suit flower that barely missed Robin's face. "Fortune favors the bold, kid. Sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be."

Robin took off his belt and went downstairs. There had been no enemies or obstacles as he reached the door out (there were no windows).

_Then again..._

Robin stood to the side of the door and turned the knob with an agile foot. A shot fired, clipping off a section of the door. Opening it with his foot, Robin saw that a shotgun's trigger had been tied to the door.

_If I'd been standing in front of the door, I'd be dead. No wonder my predecessors had a hard time with him._

**Batgirl's perspective:**

First things had been first. Batman and Batgirl had taken Jimmy home. "Could you leave me and Jimmy alone for a moment?" asked Batgirl. "Family matter." Batman left. Batgirl picked up a cellphone from the sofa and used it to message the Commissioner that his son was safe.

Batgirl smiled over Barbara Gordon's younger brother resting in a couch and kissed him on the forehead. She had second thoughts about how she had spoken to Batman before. The reality was that he had saved their lives.

"Will Barbara Gordon's father be upset if she doesn't wait for him?" asked Batman.

"Let him be upset," said Batgirl. "I'm a grown woman. He can't treat me like a child anymore. Neither can you." The discussion was over.

As Batman and Batgirl drove off to The Joker's out of town hideaway, Batgirl said, "I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier. You came to our rescue."

"But I got Robin kidnapped," said Batman.

"I know how you feel," said Batgirl. "I felt responsible for the death of my mother."

"Then you know there's nothing you can say that will make me feel better," said Batman.

"True," Batgirl admitted. "Any chance Robin's still alive?"

"The Joker won't kill him right away," Batman revealed a silver lining. "He's got to make everything he does a big show. He loves the attention. It's his one weakness."

"I'm with you," said Batgirl. "After you saved me and my brother, this is the least I can do."

They saw an abandoned amusement park on Steiner Avenue and drove towards it. "Po and Lou's Town of Fun," Batgirl recognized the name. "Mom and Dad took me and Jimmy here a few times when we were younger. Must've gone out of business."

"This is yet another reason why you don't leave things lying around," said Batman. "Don't want them falling into the wrong hands."

"Robin's safe and sound for now, as I promised," said The Joker's voice on a loudspeaker as the Batmobile neared the entrance gate. Batman hit the brakes.

Opening the Batmobile's front shield so he could get out, Batman demanded, "What do you mean, 'For now?' Batgirl had noticed that as well.

"See," explained Joker. "He's running my little obstacle course. I don't know how long he'll last. But I can guarantee you that I will break the rules and kill him myself if you drive in. In fact, to keep things fair, lose the belts as well."

"Fair?" asked Batman.

"I promise neither I nor my men will use weapons, either," promised The Joker in a gleeful manner. "This is a fair fight, trust me."

"That's the problem," said Batgirl. "I'd trust Dracula before you, Joker!"

"Smart girl," said The Joker. "But then, you don't have a choice, do you?"

Batgirl looked at Batman. He shook his head. They took off their belts.

**Robin's perspective:**

Robin had thrown yet another rock to trip a ballista in the row in front of him. So far, so good.

Suddenly, his foot sank into the ground and was stuck. Concentrating, he was able to get the foot out and move just in time for a gunshot to miss. It was a man with a rifle who shouted, "Dammit! So close." He took aim again.

Robin ran. He remembered what Bruce Wayne had taught him: "When under fire, never stay still. A moving target is hard to hit." Sure enough, two more shots missed.

Grabbing a stick as he ran, Robin ran around a carnival-like game stand, quickly climbed up it**, **and threw the stick into the place of the game where the cashier was supposed to stand.

"Bad place to hide, kid," said the man. "Since I've found you, you ain't got nowhere ta hide!" But Robin wasn't going anywhere. He jumped onto the man's head and shoulders, kicked the rifle from his grasp, and choked the thug's neck with his thighs. The thug began losing the presence of mind to effectively fight or get his gun back and eventually fell to the ground, unconscious.

Robin continued his journey. Finally, he could see Batman and Batgirl in the distance and was about to call to them when he felt a sharp pain in the left side of his neck.

Falling to the ground in pain, Robin looked up to see a young woman with a pink Mohawk approach. "Sandy Freid," she said. "The Joker says if I take you out, he'll go out with me. Of course, I'd have done it anyway." She grinned and drew some more knives out of a belt full of them.

_His type, all right - sadistic and nuts!_

Robin ducked, hopped, and cartwheeled to avoid the knives, each one coming closer to flesh than the last until one finally hit an elbow. Despite Robin's body armor preventing injury, he dropped to the ground, screaming in pain. If he knew The Joker's type, Sandy would walk over to gloat first.

She did. Leaning over Robin, she taunted, "Did I hurt you, little brat? Lemme kiss it and make it better." She drew a knife and raised it, aiming for Robin's neck. Instead, Robin kicked a foot up, tagging Sandy under the chin. Unlike Harley, Sandy was not particularly athletic, and soon fell unconscious.

"Didn't know what he had in Harley Quinn,' Robin joked to himself. It was time to regroup with his partners.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman let out a major sigh of relief when he heard Robin yell, "Hey! I'm over here." Batman and Batgirl turned to see Robin running towards them.

"Glad you're OK," said a smiling Batgirl.

"He's not," said Batman, noticing the wound on his neck. He looked at Robin and added, "I suppose you did well just to survive The Joker's mad games. Batgirl, take him home, and be careful about it."

"That's as complimentary as he gets," said Batgirl to Robin. "Let's go."

"I'll tell Dad that I slipped and fell to cut my neck on something," said Robin to Batgirl.

"Been there," consoled Batgirl. "Lying to the old man isn't easy or fun."

It was just Batman and The Joker. "As much as I enjoy our romps together," said Joker, again, on a microphone, "These upsets of yours are starting to get annoying."

Batman saw no reason to respond. "No heroic speech?" asked The Joker. "You're no fun."

"Good," said Batman out loud to be heard. He continued to walk through Po and Lou's. "By the way, how did you afford this place? I thought the FBI confiscated all your ill-gotten cash."

"First of all, I don't steal," The Joker chuckled. "Second, your girlfriend The Hog financed this little operation of mine. It's gonna be fun to see her dress you in pink pajamas." The Joker started laughing. "Can nothing make you laugh?"

Batman didn't answer, but then there was a curious pause. Several minutes of searching Po and Lou's passed when Batman heard footsteps right behind him. Batman turned and kicked in that direction; The Joker stumbled several feet back before falling into a sit. He had a spiked ring, presumably tipped with a paralyzing agent.

"Your move," challenged Batman. Instead, The Joker ran. "Like I thought." But from past experience, Batman knew Joker might be leading him into a deadly, if not exactly courageous, trap.

The Joker fled to a roller coaster and activated it. He got in the front cart. The ride was arching up by the time Batman caught up and entered the fifth cart from the front. No matter - now he was moving closer, one cart at a time. He was right behind The Joker when the roller coaster sped up down the arch, knocking Batman back - and without his Batgrapple. He was, however, able to grab the handle bar of the seventh cart and get in his seat.

Of course, Batman was too overwhelmed by the speed to move effectively. Somehow, though, The Joker was moving towards him.

_Impossible. Unless... unless he practiced this some times in anticipation of this battle. You're good, Joker!_

The Joker lifted his spiked ring up to knock Batman out with poison. Summoning all his discipline, Batman kicked his right foot around, despite the mentally paralyzing speed the ride was racing at. The Joker was knocked off the roller coaster. Without his Batgrapple, there wasn't anything Batman could do to keep Joker from falling. And it might have been fatal at this speed.

_Damn! Shouldn't have kicked that hard. But if I hadn't, he might have sank that poison into me._

The roller coaster eventually stopped. Batman removed all of The Joker's weapons and checked his pulse. Nothing. Mouth to mouth treatment and pushes against the belly began. For awhile, nothing happened. Then The Joker's eyes opened.

The two nemeses stared at each other for a few seconds. Then The Joker burst out laughing."You saved your greatest enemy on the night he nearly made you The Hog's sex slave?" asked Joker, still laughing. "You have to admit, _that _is funny."

Batman thought for a minute, then let out a single chuckle. "You're right, Joker. It is."

"And since you've saved me, it's only a matter of time before I cause trouble again."

"That isn't."

**The Hog's perspective:**

As The Hog was about to get to sleep, she got a phone call. It was Al. "What's so important, big brother, that it can't wait till tomorrow?"

"The Joker's failed," said Al.

"Ah thought he might," sighed The Hog.

"Managed to force Bats to fight without his little toys and still couldn't get 'er done," said Al with hatred. "We wasted money."

"Well-wasted," said The Hog. After all, the family had become loaded in the over a year it had run all organized crime in Gotham. He can't keep beatin' the odds forever."

"Y'know, the loony sumbitch prob'ly could've done it, sis," lamented Al, "If he kept Robin hostage and used 'im against Bats. Had to play a game with him, didn't he? Wait. Why the Hell am Ah tellin' this to the lady who thinks Bats is too handsome to die?"

The Hog hung up and turned the light off. But in her final minute before sleep she had to admit that Al was right. When it came to the man she called "Little Bat," she was soft. She prayed that she would not come to look back on that with regret from Death Row.

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce said to Tim, "I was wrong to leave you behind when we were helping Gordon's children. I'm sorry."

"Did Barbara help you come to that realization?" asked Tim. Bruce nodded. Tim shook his hand.

"Just remember how fortunate you are that you first encounter with The Joker went as well as it did," warned Bruce to Tim. "The memory of Jason Todd shows that there's always a next time."

**The Joker's perspective:**

The next day, it was time for a psychological evaluation. "Y'know," laughed The Joker, "For someone so smart, Bats makes an awful lot of mistakes. He's put me away six or seven times now. But if I ever win, game over!"

"Not if someone whacks you first, Puddin'," said Dr. Mandy Booke, removing the chart covering her face to reveal a smirking Harley Quinn. "Dr. Booke... fell down."

"Pleased to see you," said Joker.

"I feel the same way," said Harley, getting the baseball bat out of the chair that her back had been covering. Pounding the bat into her left hand, she said. "I got a present for you. One you've been needin' for a long time. Ivy was right about you."

"Now," said The Joker, "I know you're upset with how I left you behind back there, but I didn't mean to. It was the heat of battle; I felt awful. I was going to bust you out as soon as Bats was dead."

"I don't think Sandy would've liked that," said Harley, she took three practice swings.

"You wouldn't dare," The Joker looked at Harley with fiery eyes. "You love me. You could never hurt me. And I would never hurt you if I could help it, but the rooster has to maintain order. Put down the bat and kiss me before I decide you need to be punished, hen."

For a moment, The Joker seemed to have broken Harley again. She had a fearful look on her face and dropped the bat. But then she caught it inches above the ground, held it in a slugger's grip, and charged. "Guards," shouted Joker.


	13. Kitty-Cornered

**Batman's perspective:**

"So do you like her?" asked Robin as he and The Batman saw The Catwoman enter Mo's Collection of Everything, a department store.

"What?" asked Batman, taken aback.

"As in attraction, affection, lust, love," explained Robin.

"I question what makes you think that, not your meaning," said Batman.

"Before I put this on this ridiculous suit," said Robin, "I'd heard the rumors that she's a criminal you like. And you're looking really hard at her. If you do like her, I don't blame you."

"Attraction to the enemy is dangerous," coached Batman. He knew from experience. "I'm getting on the building. Don't know if she'll return to her car by hopping from building to building, or slink on the ground. If she climbs up, do the same, but keep it quiet. Give me a thumbs down signal if she drops to the ground. He Batgrappled up to the roof and entered a shadowy section of that roof.

Catwoman climbed up to the roof as well, bag of jewels in hand. Batman saw her looking at a nearby building. Batman set up his Mini-Batjet to fly at Catwoman's head as she began running in preparation to leap across rooftops. She halted and ducked just as the Mini-Batjet would have knocked her out. The Mini-Batjet made a U-turn to Catwoman, but because that turn had reduced its speed and momentum, Catwoman managed to catch it. She drove the Mini-Batjet into the concrete roof to disable it.

By now, though, Batman was on a collision course for Catwoman, and delivered a flying kick from behind that knocked her down and made her slide until her head hit the roof barrier. She was motionless, possibly out cold.

Fighting back guilt that Batman would have felt for doing this to no other criminal, Batman advanced towards her. After nearly three years of fruitless pursuits, could it have been this easy?

The groans of Catwoman suggested otherwise, but Batman pulled her just far enough over the edge that she could see the streets.

"It's a long way down," Batman snarled. "You'd better cooperate this time."

Catwoman rolled around to face Batman and smiled. "I like my men loving, not scary."

"If I've told you once," insisted Batman, "I've told you a thousand times. I'm not your man."

_I don't think I am, anyway._

"I also prefer my men honest," added Catwoman. "We've got a lot of work to do." She pressed her masked face against Batman's, wrapped her right arm around his neck, and made a purring sound.

Batman shivered at all this. "D-don't even try it, lady."

"No fear of The Joker, Two-Face, and all those other psychos, but _this _scares you?" asked Catwoman. "White boys."

Seeing that he was about to lose the heart to take Catwoman to the police, Batman pushed her face away just before he would have been kissed. No sooner had he done that when he felt a knee in the groin and a four claws on the arm around his neck rake from chin to right cheek. Batman rolled away, pain in his groin and face.

Catwoman stood up, upholstering and cracking her whip. "So it's the hard way," she said, still smiled. "Well, that _is_ how cats mate."

Batman drew a Batarang under the cover of his cape and concentrated. Catwoman was trying to fake him out by cracking the whip. Finally, as she was about to strike for real, Batman threw the Batarang, severing the whip just above the handle.

"Shit," said Catwoman. "Well, I'll bet you're weakened. I still gotcha!"

True enough. As Catwoman charged at Batman, he rushed his hands into his belt pouch containing Batarangs, seizing all eleven that remained and holding them in his left forearm.

"Good call," Catwoman had to admit as Batman gripped a Batarang with his right hand and threw it. Catwoman dodged. Batman threw the remaining ten more quickly. Catwoman cartwheeled to avoid every single one.

By now, Batman was feeling better, and stood up.

"Playtime's over," said Catwoman. "Next time I'll make a play for your heart."

But Batman saw Robin sneaking up on Catwoman. Attempting to distract Catwoman from sensing The Boy Wonder, Batman said, "That's right, Selina. Run. You know you can't beat me."

"Actually, I just don't want to hurt you, my wounded warrior," said Catwoman. "But if you want..." she was cut off by a Batbola encircling her.

Wrestling her to the ground Robin said, "Time for a reserve unit."

"You look a little different from the Robin I've known," said Catwoman. "Or Robins. Where does he dig up you brats? Caesarion!"

"Careful, Robin," said Batman. "She has a... behind you!" Catwoman's pet cougar, Caesarion, had climbed onto the roof behind Robin. He must have somehow hid on a wall without Batman and Robin spotting him.

Caesarion dived at Robin, who instinctively blocked. The armor just above his right elbow was torn, and he fell down, screaming in pain.

"Thank you sugar," said Catwoman, cutting off the Batbola with her claws. "Ooh, Robin looks hurt. Our fun's over, Batman. This time for real. Time for you to be a daddy. Better bandage your own face, too." She fled, patting her right thigh as she ran to get Caesarion to follow.

One of Batman's rules was to never choose the guilty over the innocent. He was aware that the murders of his parents being his motivation left potential for evil. The mission absolutely had to be about justice, not revenge. But he rethought that on this occasion. Catwoman had nearly succeeded in seducing him into ending the chase dozens of times. Perhaps it was time to end it.

_No! To risk Robin's life because I'm afraid of being corrupted by Catwoman would be cowardly._

He took Robin down to the Batmobile and bandaged the wound. "I'm feeling much better," said Robin, thirteen minutes later. "Let's pick up their trail."

"No unnecessary risks," said Batman. "Your night is over. It's too late, anyway. She's changed clothes and long-gone in her car by now. I'll get back up there to retrieve the equipment we left behind. Then I'm taking you back to the Batcave."

"But that means she got away with the jewels," protested Robin.

"Hardest lesson in crimefighting," nodded Batman. "No matter what they tell you, good guys don't always win."

**Selina Kyle's perspective:**

Selina had put away her Catsuit and changed from street clothes to a robe and sat in her couch to watch some NetTrap, named because it promised to "trap" you in its long list of programming.

"Catwoman owns him," said Selina to her best friend, Sabisia Williams. "He can't catch her. And even if he could, he might not have the guts anymore."

"Kicked in the ass by love?" grinned Sabisia.

Selina proudly rested her hands behind her head and her feet on her coffee table. "You know what, Sabisia? I think three years of running is enough. Next time, I'll conquer him! Ambush and kiss him! Then I'll ask him out. I can tell from having looked him in the eye that he won't be able to say no at that point."

"Hold that thought," said Sabisia. "You better take care of that wound," she pointed to the side of the shins on Selina's right leg.

"Oh, shit," said Selina, entering the kitchen and closing the wound with a paper towel.

Sabisia sighed in relief. "Guess it wasn't that bad."

"Oh, to Hell with the cut," said Selina. "I don't remember being hurt tonight. What could've... daaamn!"

"'Daaamn's' not good," said Sabisia. "Properly black but in this context, bad."

"Those stupid-ass bat-shaped knives or whatever," said Selina. "One of 'em must've cut me. That one's got my DNA on it. Shit! Catwoman's got a little more work to do. Don't start without me."

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman was pocketing the equipment he and Robin had used in their failed attempt to apprehend Catwoman. It was then that he saw that one of the Batarangs was stained with blood.

_This was a more fruitful night after all. Time for forensics._

**Catwoman's perspective:**

_Nothing. I'm doomed!_

She had searched the rooftop she and Caesarion had fought Batman and Robin on for the Batarangs. She couldn't find any. Batman must have found them all. The Cat had caught the Bat under her paw but been bitten and infected with a disease.

Catwoman went home, beaten and defeated. "Couldn't find it?" asked Sabisia. Catwoman shook her head.

"He's got my DNA, Sabisia," sighed Catwoman. "He's going to trace it to this part of town. He even took a piece of broken whip so I can't call it circumstantial evidence. By tomorrow he'll have his proof that I'm Selina Kyle."

"I never got to see Africa, where our ancesters came from," said Sabisia, winking.

"No, no," Catwoman shook her head. "You don't get away from The Batman by skipping the country. He's the greatest detective in the damn world! Why did I sever my ties with the Traylors for that self-righteous son of a bitch? They might have spirited us out. It might not have worked, but there was a chance."

"What about the little gangs?" asked Sabisia hopefully.

"If those amateurs could hide this from Batman," Catwoman scoffed with a smile, "I'd have him adoring the ground I walk on or dead by now!"

"How about we hide in town?" Sabisia tried again.

"I told you he was the greatest detective," Catwoman reminded her. "I wasn't exaggerating. You would not believe some of the poor souls he's caught. Once Selina Kyle is as much a wanted woman as Catwoman, there's not a rock either can hide under. I'm telling you, we're screwed. I am, anyway. You could say that you didn't know and that our little buddy isn't the same cougar as mine." She petted Caesarion and he purred. "At least there wouldn't be any proof against anyone but me."

"What about you?" asked Sabisia pointedly. "What are you gonna do?"

Catwoman thought for a moment. "I have no idea."

**Batman's perspective:**

"Those scrapes look nasty," Batgirl noticed the wounds Catwoman had left Batman with upon meeting him and Robin in the Batcave..

"I'll live," Batman assured her. "Now for the waiting game." Batman had run the Batarang stained with Catwoman's blood through the Batcomputer.

"How long does this take?" asked Batgirl.

"Ordinarily, it would be two or three days," said Batman. "But thanks to the Wayne billions, the Batcomputer is more advanced than conventional machines. It'll take a day, tops."

"Then we catch Catwoman off-guard," said Robin with glee.

"More like inmate Selina Kyle," added Batgirl.

"Yeah," said Batman, glumly. For some reason, he was not particularly happy about how this had turned out.

And then he realized the reason why: deep down inside, he did not actually want to win his war with The Catwoman. Because then, she would hate him forever.

_Have to get over it. She is a thief. The law is the law._

**Sabisia's perspective:**

Sabisia was awakened at 4:26 AM. She entered the living room of the condo to see Selina sloppily mopping the spot some liquid had made on the floor; there were nearby pieces of broken wine bottle.

"I'll pick up the glass," said Sabisia, getting a paper towel with which she handled the pieces.

Sabisia trashed the glass and waited for Selina to finish mopping. Once Selina had sat back down, Sabisia finally got a good look at her. She looked clumsy, tired, not all there, yet somehow, wide awake.

"You're drunk," laughed Sabisia.

"I am not," insisted Selina.

"Then what's that?" Sabisia said, pointing to the bottles on the coffee table.

Selina seethed for a moment before saying, "OK, I'm smashed! Happy?"

"I'm surprised you couldn't maintain the presence of mind to put away the bottles you were done with," said Sabisia, gathering up the bottles on the coffee table. "Should've been instinct with how careful you have to be on jobs."

"Who said I didn't throw any away?" asked Selina.

"Holy shit," said Sabisia. "Why?"

"I couldn't sleep," explained Selina. "Nothing I did could cheer me up. Only drinking distracts me a little. Only a little."

"From what?" asked Sabisia.

"In four hours," sighed Selina, "Batman's gizmos are gonna get a DNA match. It won't be midnight before he narrows it down to me and comes here. He's got me. To think I thought of seducing him into crime just last night."

"Still a chance he doesn't find out," said Sabisia. "Nobody's _that_ good."

"He is," said Selina. "They say those in our line of work always make a mistake. Most do-gooders aren't so smart that it only takes one, but he sure as Hell is!"

Selina had gotten Sabisia off the street a long time ago and besides, they were best friends. While Sabisia had doubts about the morality of Selina's chosen trade, she felt she had to help Selina Kyle through this.

"Any ideas on your future?" asked Sabisia.

"I guess when he comes," said Selina with an iron voice, "I'll see if his almost three-year-old offer to put in a good word for me so I get quick rehab and a relationship with him still stands. If not, I'm in prison till I'm an old bat." Selina burst out laughing. "Old bat! How ironic."

"This isn't funny," said Sabisia.

"It's my last day as both a free woman and not an apologist for this rotten civilization. One flawed enough to let my parents unnecessarily die in their thirties and to need an avenger of the night to catch me. They don't deserve him. The point is, I think you should let me have all the laughs I can get."

Sabisia nodded.

Selina scowled. "Speaking of Batman, the way I've dealt with him was a mistake. I can't say I wasn't warned. Becky 'The Hog' Traylor said," Selina now quoted in the best white Southern accent she could manage, "'What, you think that for pullin' yourself away from my family, you'll earn his approval? Hell, no! Let's face it, Catwoman, he's too good for you.' But I didn't listen. And you know why? Because I'm soft. And because I like him."

By now, Selina was very, very angry at herself. Sabisia watched with sympathy. "I've even saved the bastard once or twice like he was a friend or even lover," said Selina. "What the Hell was wrong with me? Plus, I can see in his eyes that our encounters make his happy. See, he's a tortured soul. I don't know why. Brother killed by the mob? Probably something like that."

"Maybe he'll realize all that and overlook this," said Sabisia, more out of hope than anything. "Stranger things have happened."

"He doesn't like me that much," said Selina. "I don't even know if he feels anything but lust. Besides, he's a workaholic and righteous egomaniac. Everybody who works outside the law has to be afraid of him. I'm a stain on his reputation and that won't fly. Plus, he thinks he's 'saving' me. He'll have no trouble rationalizing what he's doing to me. Which brings me to what The Hog told me. I should have killed him when I had the chance."

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Bruce had hurried to Wayne Manor immediately after getting off work. He intended to have proof as well as knowledge that Catwoman and Selina Kyle were the same person before Barbara and Tim arrived.

Sure enough, the testing had traced the blood's home to one neighborhood in inner city Gotham. Could not take more than a little checking.

Suddenly, Bruce froze. As if he did not wish to do what he was about to.

But why? He had dreamed of this moment for nearly three years. The criminal who had always escaped Batman, sometimes with her ill-gotten goods, was within his grasp. Why was Bruce hesitating? This should have been one of the easiest things to do of his life.

He guessed the reason was his feelings for Catwoman. She might hate him if he did this. Somehow, Bruce felt as if he owed Catwoman something.

That was objectively wrong. They had saved each other's lives in the past. And while Bruce may have felt a little happier since the first night he clashed with The Princess of Plunder, the fact was that they were rivals. It was as simple as that. Bruce was not throwing away this opportunity.

And yet he found himself tampering with the Batcomputer. Second thoughts did not even wait for him to finish.

Soon enough, Barbara and Tim arrived. "I want to be in on this," Barbara said with a smile. "Catwoman humiliated me last year. Turned me into a damsel in distress who the cops chose over her. She's gonna pay."

Suddenly, Bruce felt awful. "Then I don't know how to tell you this, but there was no DNA match. This very, very rarely happens. She's the luckiest person in Gotham."

"Cut the crap," said Tim. "What really happened?"

Barbara held out her hand to stop Bruce from answering before putting her hands on her hips. "The odds of no match are one in a hundred billion!"

"I... owe her," said Bruce.

"So she'll steal again," yelled Tim. For her part, Barbara slapped Bruce across the face.

"Barbara," said Bruce, "I didn't know you took her so personally. Then I wouldn't..."

"Apology unacceptable," said Barbara. "I don't want to work with you for the next week."

"Is there room on the Batcycle for one more?" asked Tim.

"Sure," said Barbara.

"I understand," Bruce called to Barbara and Tim as they stormed off. Bruce reflected on everything. The others would get over it. They were a team.

This was not ego talking. Bruce would have a harder time forgiving himself. For better or worse, he had let Catwoman go. She would continue to pilfer homes.

And the most damning thing of all was that Bruce knew that his heart believed that he had done the right thing.

**Selina's perspective:**

It was midnight.

"He's not coming, is he?" said Sabisia with a smile.

"Doesn't look like it," realized Selina. "Guess you were right to be optimistic."

"Thanks," said Sabisia.

"But how?" pondered Selina. "How could that brilliant detective have screwed this up? Or could he not bring himself to take me in when it was all said and done?"

"Maybe he's not so cold-hearted after all," suggested Sabisia.

"Maybe not," realized Selina.

"You gonna show your appreciation?" winked Sabisia.

"Maybe tomorrow," yawned Selina. "I've been up for two days and the wine's still in my system."


	14. Knight in Rusty Armor, Part I

**Batman's perspective:**

It had been two weeks since Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn had escaped from Arkham via acid that the sneaky and agile Harley had used to eat through her and Ivy's cell. So far, nothing was happening. But then again, Ivy had been known to plan long-term before what she called "an action". In the meantime, there were crimes to foil.

The police had four bank robbers trapped in their apartment, Jimmy's Pad. Unfortunately, the robbers had three hostages, two men and a woman. Presumably, they were other customers of Jimmy's.

"Stop behind the police," The Batman commanded The Batgirl, who was on the Batcycle. It and the Batmobile stopped short of the small army of cops. Opening the front shield of the Batmobile, Batman said, "Keep them talking" to Lieutenant Marc Freeman, Detective Harvey Bullock, and Sergeant Renee Montoya.

Crawling through the air ducts, Batman carefully removed a ceiling register. He stuck his head out the newly created hole to see three men with rifles at the windows. The last one was focused on the hostages. Using a Batrope to slowly descend to the ground, Batman gave the hostages a "Shh" sound as he sneaked up on and sucker punched the one holding the hostages prisoner. It was easy to make your sneak attacks count if you knew where to hit.

Walking under the vent, Batman signaled Batgirl and Robin to come down. They climbed down the Batrope. The three crimefighters sneaked up on and knocked out the three remaining bank robbers.

"Almost too easy," said Batgirl.

"There's two tougher opponents out there somewhere," Batman cautioned.

"Where could they be?" asked Robin.

"Can't imagine Harley and Ivy waiting much longer," said Batgirl. "But I'd much rather act than react."

"Agreed," said Batman. "Ivy's a planner. Any scheme of hers that takes this long, we'd better nip in its tracks!"

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

It had been great hanging out with Harley. As much as Ivy didn't like her friend's rowdiness and loudness, she was a great friend.

"I'm tellin' you, Red," said Harley. "I'm done with The Joker. He's used me for the last time. I ain't even callin' him Mistah J anymore. Next time I see him, he's the latest example of how circuses are dead!"

Then Harley went from furious to hopeful. "By the way, I sure hope he's alright. I put 'im in the infirmary an' I sure hope he can forgive me."

Stunned by Harley's contradictory feelings about The Joker, Ivy covered her eyes in embarrassment. "You're pathetic, you know that? He abandons you in your hour of need, you beat the shit out of him with a baseball bat, but you can't wait to see him again."

"Yeah," Harley sighed dreamily. "What can I tell ya. Ain't no switch that can turn off my feelins."

"Then maybe I should help you get feelings for someone else," Ivy began to come up with a solution.

"Lookin' to set me up with a blind date?" asked Harley, skeptical.

"Not so blind as sticking with him," said Ivy. "I've always believed that we don't need men, but if you really want one, at least get the right one. Cook dinner. I'll research a few candidates I know about and brew a perfume for you that has the same effect on men as my pheromones."

"Will do, Red," said an excited Harley. As she cooked steak, potatoes, and eggs, (Ivy had insisted that they eat heathy, non-plant food), Ivy spent an hour brewing the perfume. She sprayed it on one of her plants and saw that Bud, the male of Harley's two pet hyenas, loved the smell. Step one was complete.

Step two was to get on the Internet and research the candidates. One potential suitor particularly caught Ivy's eye. He was a solution to not only Harley's man problem but both of their Bat problem as well.

As the friends and comrades in crime ate dinner, Ivy explained, "I've got one for you. His name is Bizarro. An imperfect clone of Superman created by Lex Luthor."

"I like where this is goin'," said Harley.

"He's dumb, primitive, and suggestible, and... not the best looker, I'll confess," said Ivy. Off Harley's upset expression, Ivy continued, "Give him a chance. You tried handsome, smart, and dominant, and got abused. How fair would it be to turn down homely, dumb, and submissive before you even know?"

"OK," said Harley reluctantly. "I'll give 'im a chance."

"That's all I ask," accepted Ivy. "Luthor claims he wanted to create more defenders for the world, though I suspect his motives were far less benevolent than he lets on. Problems arose. Bizarro has the mind of a four-year-old. Caused destruction without knowing any better. Superman took him to a wide-open spot in Australia. He's been feeding on animals and playing within his little area ever since."

"If he's so dumb," asked Harley, "How can he help us like you say he can?"

"Luthor may not have gotten the pigmentation, intelligence, or personality right," explained Ivy, "But Bizarro has all of Superman's powers."

"Ooh," squealed Harley, now interested. "Dangerous. I love dangerous."

Ivy did not. While the rewards of Harley seducing Bizarro were infinite, this meant certain death if they made even the slightest mistake. But peacefully convincing the global elites to stop killing the planet hadn't worked and Batman had always been able to thwart Ivy's necessarily extreme measures before. Poison Ivy really had no other choice.

**Commissioner Gordon's perspective:**

James Gordon was in his office ready to go home after the big bust of four bank robbers was successful when Lieutenant Freeman barged in.

"Night's not over for us just yet, Commissioner," said Freeman. "A small airplane's just been stolen from Gotham U's pilot program. It's flying over the Atlantic. Female identification of both plane thieves."

"Was that a petite redhead and a short but muscular woman with blonde hair?" asked Gordon.

"It came so fast," said Freeman. "Excuse me." He left the office. Forty-three seconds later, he was back. "Yeah, that was them, all right."

"Ivy and Quinn," guessed Gordon. "I'm calling the Air Force. The moment these psychotic serial killers leave the country, they're international terrorists."

"And the military doesn't screw around," smiled Freeman.

"No," Gordon shook his head. "They'll be dead soon. Shouldn't have left the country."

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

Ivy sat beside Harley in the plane they had hijacked.

"I had no idea you could fly," said Ivy.

"When your man asks you to be both homemaker an' action chick, ya hafta learn a lot," said Harley.

"Well, fly faster," said Ivy. "By now, the cops know where we're going. But it won't be them who chase us. It'll be the military. They'll kill us on sight!"

"How much time do we have?" asked Harley.

"I figure we have enough of a head start to get to Australia for you to court Bizarro. But after that..."

"Then what do we do?" asked Harley.

"You'll just have to earn his trust. He's either going to save us, kill us, or leave us to die."

"I only like the first one," Harley said humorously. Ivy was not amused.

It is said that at times like this, your life flashes before your eyes. Ivy was experiencing this. It was fitting; why not reflect on all this during potentially the last days of your life?

She remembered not being a very popular kid. Young Pamela Isley's peers believed that she was a little too obsessed with biology and the environment.

If that made it hard enough to get a date, her father, Mario Isley, interrogated every boy who did come to the house to pick her up. No date ever went through. Some because they didn't measure up to Mario's standards. Others were scared off by the overprotective father.

Although mother Paula fruitlessly objected, after awhile Pamela accepted Mario's policy. In retrospect, Ivy knew that she should have stood up for herself. But she knew that Mario's heart was in the right place. He wanted to protect Pamela from being used and abused. Ironic, considering that she would do to men what her father has always feared that men would do to her.

Before that but after graduating college with honors in biology, no longer having to do as her father said, Pamela realized that her father had been more right than she cared to admit. She was the assistant of Dr. Jason Woodrue and developed quite the crush on him. And Woodrue "returned" Pamela's feelings, all right - by talking her into an experiment without telling her that it had more than a sixty percent chance of fatality. Sure enough, Pamela was bedridden for months. Pamela knew then that her father had been right to go to such lengths to protect her from becoming yet another victim of treacherous men.

But in the first lucky break of her life, Pamela survived and as the saying goes, became stronger. Her body was full of poison and pheromones and an empathic link to the very plant life that she had loved all her life. She remembered accidentally killing her doctor when he felt her forehead to see how she had progressed. But by the time she could walk again, Pamela had learned to control these powers. With them, she took it upon herself to save the planet from Woodrue and all other evil men of power.

Unfortunately, the life of an archcriminal, even with supernatural abilities, is not all it is made out to be. True, she brought The Batman to the gates of Heaven in their first meeting, but he did not go through them. And Ivy found herself among the insane in Arkham Asylum days later. She had escaped a few times since, but always ended up in the same place.

But this was different. Bizarro was a secret weapon for a loveless Harley Quinn to unlock. If she succeeded with Poison Ivy's help, this secret weapon would be the answer to their prayers. this champion would make Harley and Ivy invincible!

But if anything went wrong before that, Ivy knew that she and Harley were as good as dead. This would be a turning point, one way or another.

**Bizarro's perspective:**

Bizarro looked a lot like Superman in some ways. He had short black hair, his suit resembled Superman's, and he was a fairly large man.

But there were also differences. Bizarro had chalk-white skin, he was dirty from never showering, and the "S" emblem on his chest was reversed. A more important difference was personality. While Superman loved the animal kingdom too much to hunt, Bizarro had killed a kangaroo to sustain himself for another several days.

"You am tasty," said Bizarro, eating some of the animal. Unlike Superman, he was far too unsophisticated to cook food or even speak proper english. This was why Superman had left him there. It would be wrong to kill someone for not being smart enough, so Superman convinced Bizarro to live where he could stay out of trouble.

But Bizarro was not planning to get into any trouble. Trouble was coming for him.

**Harley Quinn's perspective:**

The next morning, Harley Quinn, still flying the plane, awakened Poison Ivy.

"Up, lazy bones," said Harley, putting her eyes back on the sky that they was flying through. "We're almost there."

"Then we'll be close enough for him to hear us soon," said Ivy cautiously. "There's no time to waste. First we find him, Harley. And then you have to charm him. Just one thing. He's kind of stupid and says some things that are the opposite of what he means, so you'll have put up with an... unusual attitude. Don't start. It's a great improvement on The Joker. Be careful. There's no margin for error. He needs to not know this perfume is manipulating him or his invulnerability will protect him. If he realizing we're playing him, he'll turn our skulls into jelly! And the Feds can't be far behind us."

"What about them Feds?" asked Harley.

"If all goes well, Bizarro will take care of 'em for us," said Ivy, spraying Harley all over with the perfume. Ivy sniffed. "Ah, almost as lovely as me!"

"Ain't you humble?" grinned Harley. After what she had to put up with from her arrogant friend, she was confident she could deal with an idiot.

They landed on the plains where Bizarro lived and scouted around. Ivy was carrying a large plate of food that was covered and kept warm by a lid. "You sure he's here?" asked Harley.

Ivy placed her right index finger over her own lips. Harley shut up. Soon enough, they saw Bizarro lying down. "Hey, man of my dreams," said Harley. Bizarro got up. He was rather ugly.

_Give 'im a chance, Harley! Give 'im a chance. Give 'im a chance._

"Me am Beezarro," said Bizarro. "Who you ugly girls be?"

"Who are you callin'..." Harley was interrupted by a light nudge from Ivy. That giving her a chance to think, Harley remembered that Ivy had told her that Bizarro sometimes said the opposite of what he meant.

"I mean, think you fer the compliment," said Harley, walking towards Bizarro. "I'm Harley Quinn. She's Poison Ivy." When Harley got within three yards, Bizarro took three steps back, stunned. The perfume was doing its job well.

"Ah, don't be scared," said Harley with a forced smile and cherry voice. "I can see ya like me. Don't get cold feet. I don't bite." Still, she laughed on the inside. For all his power, Bizarro was clearly overwhelmed by his first bout of sexual tension.

"Why not touch me?" Harley offered, holding her open right one out for him. "Just be gentle. And don't touch anything private just yet. I don't let guys make up all the rules for me anymore. Understand?"

Bizarro touched the hand with his own so their fingers aligned. Both Harley and Bizarro were smiling at each other. The plan was working.

"I do believe I'm seeing love at first sight," said Ivy. She placed the plate down on the ground and took off the lid. "Enjoy!"

"No food for red girl?" asked Bizarro.

"You need a private moment," said Ivy. "Be back soon."

Harley and Bizarro sat down. Bizarro reached for his pot roast "No," said Harley. "Use your utensils. Like this." She cut her own meat with knife and fork. Bizarro cut his own awkwardly.

_Who'd've thought I'd be the classy one in a relationship. Screw it! He's got a dumb charm. We're Bitch and the Beast._

Halfway through the meal, Bizarro got up, looking at the sky.

"What's goin' on?" asked Harley.

"Flying machines coming at us," said Bizarro.

"They've been chasin' us," said Harley. "They wanna kill me an' Ivy."

"No kill Harley," said an angry Bizarro. "Beezarro love Harley. Harley's Beezarro's ugly girl." He flew at the two jet planes that Harley could now see in the distance. They fired their machine guns, but the bullets bounced harmlessly off Bizarro. Bizarro punched the underside of a plane's nose, sending the cockpit and its occupants off by their lonesome.

The other plane fired its missiles at Bizarro, but they only seemed to sting and make him mad! Bizarro tore off the wings in a rage, sending the plane out of control until it crashed into the ground, killing the pilot.

The pilot of the first plane was parachuting to safety, or almost to safety, for several seconds on his cautious walk towards civilization (without escaping Harley's gaze), Poison Ivy grabbed him from behind. Just as the pilot would have defended himself, he instead moaned lovingly as Ivy's pheromones claimed him.

Moving in front of the pilot and taking off the pilot's oxygen mask, a sultry Ivy said, "Why should boys get all the fun?" She gave him a venom-laden kiss, then watched as the poor pilot slowly died.

By this point, Bizarro had landed. "Nobody hurts Harley," he said.

"You're alright," said Harley as she jumped into Bizarro's arms and hugged him. Being defended by him from attackers was a turn-on. He wasn't The Joker, but he would do in a pinch.

"That he is," said a happy Ivy. "I pity The Caped Crusaders who are stalling the salvation of the planet now!"

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn were out of Batman's hands. They had left Gotham City and were being pursued by the Air Force. Since Ivy was as much a terrorist as a criminal, they would likely be shot or bombed on sight. As much as Bruce hated early death, he was not about to miss those two.

So what was this bad feeling Bruce felt in his bones? Was it that The Joker would break out and take revenge for an ex-girlfriend who had hurt him? That Harley and Ivy would turn the tables on their pursuers? Neither of these possibilities seemed likely.

And yet, as Bruce ate his lunch, he could not shake the feeling. It seemed to be for nothing, but he could not believe that. In fact, he felt like a pig being led to slaughter.

_Just a feeling. Nothing more._

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Batgirl had worked with Batman the past night because it was a hostage situation. This time, she was just patrolling. Besides, she was not entirely over how Batman had quashed an opportunity to put The Catwoman away once and for all. What had he been thinking? How could he put his feelings ahead of the city? A million available women and he wants The Princess of Plunder?

Batgirl's thoughts were interrupted by some unknown force lifting up the Batcycle and using it to dump Batgirl on the street. After rolling to the sidewalk just in time to avoid a car (nobody anxious to home from work was hitting the breaks for a masked woman), she looked around. The Batcycle and whoever had taken it were gone. But how?

"Hey, Batchick," called Harley Quinn behind Batgirl. Batgirl turned to see that Harley side-by-side with Poison Ivy. "I got away from my abuser. Ain't ya proud of me?" Batgirl said nothing.

"You know, Batgirl," said Ivy, "I think I hate you the most of all this city's defenders of the misogynistic, earth killing status quo," said Ivy. "After all, you've saved Batman from my green justice more than once."

"Get used to it," said Batgirl proudly. "We look out for each other. You wanna give up? Or do I have to ruin your overrated looks and show Quinn that athleticism without skill isn't enough against us?"

"OK, Puddin'," said Harley. "You can come out now and end this bitch's life!"

"Puddin'?" asked a surprised Batgirl. "I thought you and The Joker broke..." a blue and red blur streaked in front of Harley and Ivy before solidifying into a dirty, chalk-white man who otherwise resembled Superman. he was holding a crumpled-up Batcycle and threw it near Batgirl.

"Superman, is this your idea of a joke?" frowned Batgirl.

"Me not Superman," said the man. "Me am Beezarro. You no hurt ugly girls. Beezarro Ivy's friend and Harley's love."

_Somebody dropped out of grade school. Don't know who's got a worse choice in lovers. Batman or this Beezarro character._

"Beezaro..." began Batgirl softly.

"Pronounce it right," said Harley. "It's Bizarro."

"Whatever," said Batgirl. "These women are using you. They don't care about you. They just want you to cause destruction."

"Beezarro no listen to your lies," said Bizarro. He walked towards Batgirl.

"Good-bye, Batgirl," said Ivy with glee.

Suddenly, a motorcycle began driving towards Batgirl from behind. It was The Huntress. She cut her engine and picked up her bike. Taking it right next to Bizarro's face, she reactivated the engine. Bizarro grunted in pain and covered his super-sensitive ears.

Seizing on the opportunity, Huntress knocked Ivy out with a flying elbow strike, blocked Harley's own kick, headbutted her down, pulled her up, and held two daggers to her throat.

Bizarro recovered and looked at The Huntress threatening Harley with horror. "Don't," threatened Huntress. "Even if you take me out at Super Speed, the push that kind of momentum will cause will probably get Harley's throat slit." Harley whimpered upon hearing this.

"Tall woman hurt Harley, Beezarro hurt tall woman _bad_!" vowed Bizarro.

"I'm dead anyway," said The Huntress. "How 'bout we compromise? You enter the clouds for the next ten minutes or so, I'll let her go."

"What are minutes?" asked Bizarro.

"Moron," sighed The Huntress.

"Just slowly count to sixty ten times once you're up there," advised Batgirl.

"She better be OK," shouted Bizarro as he flew up.

The Huntress let Harley go and pocketed the daggers. "Better run while you still can," grinned Harley. The Huntress stood her motorcycle back up mounted it.

"Get on," The Huntress shouted to Batgirl. She did so.

"Stick to high traffic roads," directed Batgirl. "Bizarro's dumb enough that he might lose us there. He's..."

"I know," said The Huntress. "I spotted them in the air before they attacked you. I knew they were after you."

"Thanks, by the way," Batgirl said reluctantly to the cold and ruthless "heroine" who had unfortunately rescued her. "I owe you one."

"Noted," said The Huntress. "Now what do we do? I may have gotten us away from that pale asshole, but I can't think of any way to actually stop him. Any ideas?"

"I'll call Batman," said Batgirl. "He's used that brilliant mind of his to take out metahumans before. And even if he hadn't, he knows Superman and Wonder Woman."

"They better come," said Huntress, "'Cause we're out of our league."

**Batman's perspective:**

The Batmobile's phone was ringing. "Hello?" asked Batman.

"We're in deep trouble," said Batgirl. "Ivy and Quinn have a metahuman under their control."

"I saw the flying people," said Batman. "I've made the calls to Superman and Wonder Woman. Superman said he'd call The Green Lantern. They'll be here before too long. For now, come to Mutton Street where Robin and I are."

"Understood," said Batgirl. "Batgirl out." She hung up.

"What do we do if they can't beat this guy?" asked Robin.

"They will," Batman assured Robin. "Superman's always been able to set Bizarro right before. Besides, it's two against one. And I have a little something that might be able to stop him."

Batgirl and The Huntress arrived. "Glad you're safe," said Batman.

"No we're not," said The Huntress.

"That's true," Batman acknowledged.

Soon enough, Bizarro descended onto Mutton Street with Harley and Ivy holding onto him.

"If it ain't our old 'friends,'" said Harley Quinn with glee.

"Care to beg for your lives?" asked Poison Ivy.

"Not in this lifetime," said Robin.

Batman walked towards Bizarro and drew a rock of Kryptonite from his belt.

"What is this green rock?" asked Bizarro, unaffected.

"Lex Luthor made sure the vulnerability to Kryptonite wasn't a characteristic of Bizarro," said Ivy. "Too bad."

_Well, this isn't good._

"Promise not to hurt the girls," said Bizarro, "And Beezarro will let you live."

"No," said Harley. "Kill 'em! Rip 'em to bits!"

"That's right," agreed Ivy. "They have committed too many crimes against Mother Earth. They must be punished! But Batman, if you want my poison kiss to be your instrument of death, I'm happy to oblige."

"Go to Hell, Ivy," said Batman.

"You first," said Bizarro, winding up. But it was Bizarro who was punched through the wall of a nearby building.

"Get clear," said Superman to the non-powered crimefighters he had come to the rescue of. Batman, Batgirl, Robin and The Huntress did so.

"You do even more good than Batman," Ivy praised Superman. "Even for the environment. Go home and you may live."

"I've heard that song before," said Superman. Bizarro was quick to recover and come back out of the building that he had been knocked into. "Bizarro, they're not your friends."

"We freed you," said Harley to Bizarro. "Supes left you in the wilderness."

"Only so you could play without hurting any people," said Superman. Bizarro's answer was a flying punch that knocked Superman into a parked car, smashing it!

Superman punched at Bizarro once he had advanced close enough. The fist was caught. Bizarro punched at Superman. The fist was caught. They wrestled for control of all four arms for several dozen seconds before Ivy got a lead box out of her purse.

"Look out," shouted Batman. But it was too late. Ivy opened the box to reveal Kryptonite. Superman was immediately weakened. He managed to break both holds and fly backwards to get distance between him and the Kryptonite, but it was too late. A flying punch from Bizarro knocked Superman across the road.

Superman was hurt and slow to get up; Bizarro advanced.

"Superman, it's over," said Batman. "Get out of here and recuperate."

"No," said Superman. "I can't just leave you at their mercy." Those words sealed Superman's fate; he was punished by a flurry of punches that left him bloodied and unconscious.

"Any other challengers to our champion?" asked Ivy.

"I challenge," said a female voice from the sky. It was Wonder Woman.

"I appreciate a strong, independent woman," said Ivy. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to go while you still can?"

Wonder Woman shook her head.

"Great," said Harley, smiling sadistically. "Look what happened to Supes. Looks like the same's gonna happen to you!"

"I'm not impressed by the unfair way you beat Superman," said Wonder Woman. "Besides, Kryptonite doesn't work on Amazons."

Knowing that she was not as powerful as Bizarro, Wonder Woman used a defensive strategy. She blocked and dodged punches until she saw an opening. Like Superman, Bizarro knew only boxing. You needed more than that against Wonder Woman. As a result, Bizarro took two thirds of the hits over the first four minutes of fighting.

With Bizarro staggering back, Wonder Woman flew at him, kicking him four times, and putting him in an Asian throat lock. Bizarro was aching in the throat and running out of breath.

"She's doing it," exclaimed The Huntress with joy.

"That woman's saved us all," said Robin.

"You talk like there's something wrong with that," said Batgirl.

"This can't be happening," growled Ivy. "Not again!"

This was just the right time for Batman to caution the others, "It's not over till it's over."

Wonder Woman looked like she might kill. Instead, she released Bizarro. "I'll take you home, Bizarro. You've been manipulated. The others will take care of you."

But Bizarro was not finished. He hit Wonder Woman five times in the abs, then three times in the face. You could not afford to give up the initiative to someone with the powers of Superman. Bizarro continued his attack; within another thirty seconds, The Amazing Amazon was in the same shape as Superman.

But Batman had noticed The Green Lantern in the sky. "Lantern, now," Batman called. To the ground descended Green Lantern, the world's last hope.

"Grab Superman and Wonder Woman," said Ivy. Bizarro did so. "Green Lantern, I hear you're very true to your word. Promise to leave us alone or they die!"

Two green energy constructs shaped like pirates with swords appeared near Harley and Ivy. "Then you die as well. Call off your dog."

"We gave it a shot, Puddin'," said a reluctant Harley.

"He's bluffing," said Ivy. "He hasn't the guts to kill in cold blood." Batman preferred the character excuse.

Green Lantern sighed. "The world can't afford to lose them. I promise not to get in your way anymore. Let them go."

"Sorry, but they're coming with us," said Ivy. "Relax, we'll take care of them. Nothing's gonna happen to our bargaining chips. Just remember: you promised." The Green Lantern nodded and flew away.

The hearts of Batman, Batgirl, Robin and The Huntress sank. They knew that all was lost. Earth's three greatest heroes had tried and failed. The guardians of Gotham remained, but what chance did they have?

"You were awesome," said Harley as she ran over to and hugged Bizarro.

"You lose, Batman," gloated Ivy. "I had the right plan for this world all along. Any last words?"

"I surrender," said Batman.

"Coward," shouted The Huntress.

"W-what did you say?" asked Robin.

"Are you crazy?" asked Batgirl. "I'd rather die than give in!"

"Don't be too hard on him," said Ivy. "He just saved your lives. Knowing that you are powerless to stop us is far sweeter than your deaths ever could be. Be sure to watch the news over the next few days. You'll find it most interesting. Harley, drag Superman and Wonder Woman over here and we'll go. First thing tomorrow, we start visiting all the world leaders." Bizarro carried his partners and prisoners away.

Some time later, Batman told the others, "He shouldn't be able to hear me anymore, so I can tell you that I didn't mean it."

"Then why did you say it?" asked Robin.

"We were in no position to fight back." explained Batman. "But now we the luxury to plan. Don't get me wrong. To stop them would be a miraculous longshot. But I won't really give up. That's a promise."

**To be continued...**


	15. Knight in Rusty Armor, Part II

**Harley Quinn's perspective:**

Bizarro tore off the head of the Statue of Liberty and threw to the ground, smashing it! This sent a message. Even from the torch of Lady Liberty, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn could see that the masses below were afraid. All was going according to plan.

The two psychotic women and their new superhuman ally waited for the inevitable but futile retaliation from the government. Soon enough, they could see tanks rolling through the streets of New York City.

"Puddin'," said Harley, "Those assholes wanna kill me."

"Beezarro protect ugly girlfriend," said Bizarro. Harley smiled, knowing that Bizarro meant the opposite of "ugly."

Bizarro flew down towards one tank (they were taking different paths towards the Statue of Liberty) and froze it solid with Freeze Breath. He soon found another tank and ripped off the gun and tracks, rendering this tank a blunt piece of metal. For the last one, Bizarro got underneath it with Super Speed, lifted it into the sky, and threw it to the ground to destroy it, killing those inside as well.

Harley and Ivy loved what they saw. "How's it feel like to be the boss of a relationship?" asked Ivy.

"I'm not as inta control as you, Red," said Harley, "But I gotta admit, he's a better boyfriend than Mistah 'J' ever was."

"I'm happy for you," beamed Ivy. "Meanwhile, after years of struggle, my quest to save the planet from the ravages of Man is finally succeeding."

Bizarro came back up to where Harley and Ivy were. Just as Ivy had her megaphone up to her lips, Bizarro warned, "People with powers coming, girls!" He pointed in the direction of a jet plane coming from far away.

"How do you know it's metahumans?" asked Harley. Seeing that Bizarro had not understood that, Harley translated to stupidese: "Y'know, people with great powers?" One problem with this relationship was that Bizarro was not smart enough to understand what you said unless you kept it simple. Then again, Harley might not have gotten him if he were very bright. Very ironic.

"X-Ray Vision," Ivy guessed how Bizarro had seen through the jet as she looked through binoculars."That's the 'T'-Plane, all right. Bizarro, let's not give them a chance. Fly at them at Super Speed. None of them will be able to see you coming at that speed until it's too late. Throw the plane at the street, then get us down to the ground."

And so, in a matter of seconds, the "T"-Plane had been thrown into the ground. The Titans got out just in time but with the momentum they had been building up, they could not keep from hitting the pavement hard. Beastboy, Nightwing, and Raven were knocked out. Starfire, Miss Martian, Donna Troy, and Tempest remained conscious. They regrouped on the ground.

"I can see that the others will be OK with medical attention," said Miss Martian.

"Worry about yerselves," said Harley as Bizarro lowered himself, Harley, and Ivy to the ground. "You're next."

"I think I recognize that unconscious boy," said Poison Ivy, pointing at Nightwing. "He was Robin. Had him before his lady in shining armor, Batgirl, came."

"Why aren't you taking us seriously?" asked Donna, younger sister of Wonder Woman.

"Aren't these kids cute?" said Ivy to Harley. "They actually think they can stop us when the grownups couldn't."

"Yeah," laughed Harley.

"That's it," shouted Starfire. "We're legal adults and we'll prove it!" She blasted Bizarro with ultraviolet rays, though this only knocked him back a step. The Titans were surprised that this had done no damage.

"Sic 'em, boy," shouted Harley.

"But not too hard," added Ivy. "I'd rather not have the deaths of cute kids on my conscience."

Before Harley knew it, Bizarro had knocked out Starfire at Super Speed. Tempest ran at Bizarro and hurt his hand punching. Not to worry - Bizarro's punch left Tempest unconscious.

But Miss Martian and Donna were the two most physically strong members of the group, and began pounding Bizarro down with overhead punches.

"Bizarro," cried Harley an instant before Bizarro knocked Miss Martian and Donna several meters away in opposite directions. They got up clutching their stomachs in pain.

"Stop," said The Green Lantern. "You can't win." With that, he created force fields around the two youths that prevented them from attacking Bizarro.

"Remember your promise," said Ivy.

"I never break my word," Green Lantern assured her. "I'm just stopping these two kids from getting themselves killed."

"The others need help," said Ivy. "Thirty seconds, Lantern. Let them go, Bizarro." Additional force fields were summoned around the unconscious Titans.

"If it were up ta me," said Harley wistfully, "You'd all be dead. I may be Bizarro's boss, but Ivy's _my_ boss." She high-fived Ivy at their latest victory over Earth's heroes.

Green Lantern used his force fields to take The Titans away to be healed elsewhere.

"Beezarro and ugly girls win," shouted Bizarro.

"That we do," said Ivy. "Justice is finally prevailing. There's nobody left to stop you. The world leaders will have to cave. Either that, or let us destroy their countries, leaving only Mother Nature behind!"

**Bruce Wayne's perspective:**

It had taken a lot of favors, but Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox had finally gotten an audience with the UN Security Council. Bruce had to advise them to not panic. Everybody was afraid, but they could not let that fear destroy them.

"You don't think we should take action?" asked an incredulous British Chairman of the Council.

"Could you define 'Take action?'" inquired Bruce.

"The superhero community has failed," said the American member. "The only choice is to bombard them with nukes."

"Then it's good that I decided to come," said Bruce. "You do that, you're likely to kill all life on the planet! Besides, Ivy is a very smart woman. If you think she hasn't accounted for this, you're fooling yourselves."

"What choice do we have?" asked the Russian member. "The alternative is to capitulate to terrorist threats. And why should we listen to you, a playboy?"

Bruce had seen that argument coming. It was difficult to refute without blowing his cover. Of course, creating a nepotistic public image had seemed like a good idea at the time he first became The Batman.

"Easy," said the French member. "He's one of the world's most prominent figures." Bruce sighed with relief. If no one on the Council had defended him, he would have been thrown out of the room!

"All I ask," implored Bruce, "Is that you sit tight. Don't make any sudden moves. There has to be better way."

"What way?" asked the Chinese member. "Nukes are all we have. But maybe you're right. Maybe life under Poison Ivy's thumb is better than no life at all."

"No," said Bruce. "That would also be a mistake. Despite her understandable philosophy, Ivy is psychotic. She can't be allowed to win."

"Your problem," argued the British Chairman, "Is that we hear a lot about what we shouldn't do. You haven't proposed anything we should do."

Bruce could not argue with that. He had not thought of any way. "Just wait a week for someone to come up with a way."

"Three days, Wayne," said the American.

Eleven of the fourteen other members said, "Hear! Hear!"

That would most likely not be enough time, but what could Bruce do? "Three days it is."

On the way to their limousine, Lucius said to Bruce, "That certainly could have gone better."

"Three days isn't much time," said Bruce. "But it'll have to be enough."

"You talk like it's our job to stop those terrorists," said Lucius. "Honestly, after they took out Superman and Wonder Woman, I question if anybody can."

"Not necessarily," Said Bruce sternly. "It's not over until it's over."

Returning to his hotel room, Bruce opened the door to a knock, meeting an old friend, Christie Whitlock. "Hi," she said.

"Come to wish me luck?" said Bruce.

"Actually, I came to talk Batman out of this. He can't win. This isn't Gotham scum. It's a guy as powerful as Superman."

"There's no one else," said Bruce.

"Batman will die if he tries."

"If he doesn't, he'll forever wish he had died."

Christie sighed. "You won't let any work go. Something we have in common, I guess. I've got it on good confidence that Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are taking Bizarro to India in two days to cause destruction and scare the world governments even more."

Bruce nodded. "Thank you, Christie."

"Want some dinner?" asked Christie.

"We're past the point where we could have been together," said Bruce. "But if you want to stay and talk, fine."

Christie nodded. The two ex-lovers had dinner and talked together for the rest of the night. Alas, their years-dead romance never gave any indication of a rekindling; they were past the point where they could have been romantic.

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

Like a diurnal animal, Bizarro awoke at the crack of dawn and went to bed at sundown. By 11:00 P.M., it was just Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. They had spent the last two hours binge-watching the news in their hideout, delighting at the terror all the anchorpeople, analysts, and guests were expressing.

"Look at 'em squirm," laughed Harley. "My new Puddin'll waste 'em at our command, an' they know it!"

"Mm-hmm," grinned Ivy. "The world governments will try nuke strikes, but even that won't work. Bizarro will disable the bombs with his Freeze Breath. With even that last gasp failed, they'll have to hand their countries over to us. Either that, or be our new dog's food."

Ivy exhaled in triumph. "After years of struggles, things are finally going my way. Can't believe I used mutant plants for two and a half years when seducing a freak would have done a better job. If you'll excuse me, Harley, I'm going to pay a visit to the other demigods who didn't know how to wield their powers."

Ivy went downstairs where Superman and Wonder Woman were tied together with the latter's unbreakable Lasso of Truth and hanging several feet above ground. So even if they were not injured, the overhead hook they would have to break off to get loose would alert the kidnappers to their escape attempt.

"The Titans have fallen," gloated Poison Ivy. "The Earth-killers you have let alone despite them being more evil than those you put behind bars are reduced to using nukes, not realizing that I know how to deal with them. You see, well-meaning but timid heroes, your way was wrong all along."

"You think you're a messiah," said Wonder Woman with contempt. "But you're not. You're a cowardly woman who needs unnatural creations or big, strong, brainwashed men to fight your battles."

"Watch it," threatened Ivy. "You're not immune to poison, Amazon Princess. I can kill you anytime I want. You too, Superman. I still have my Kryptonite."

"I look in your eyes," said a courageous Wonder Woman, "And see every dictator I've ever seen in my many centuries in Man's World."

"Don't you dare compare me to any man of power," said Ivy.

"I'd like to think I haven't been corrupted by power," said Superman, "But you certainly have."

"Insult me all you want," said Ivy. "Judge me if you wish. Both of you know I've won."

"No, you haven't," insisted Superman.

"Who's left to stop me?" asked Ivy.

"My cousin and The Batman," said Superman.

"You're hoping against hope," laughed Ivy. "Supergirl's powers cannot compare to Bizarro's. And as for Batman? He's given up. He's going to be living in fear for the seven or eight months before we put him out of his misery."

"My cousin has great potential," insisted Superman. "And Batman will never give in. I know the man."

"Whatever you say," Ivy kept laughing. "Thanks tickling this girl's funny bone."

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

_Nice to have a female ally who isn't a bitch like The Huntress._

Supergirl had been called to the Batcave because other than the Batfamily and nuclear weapons, she seemed to be the only potential threat to Bizarro and had become fast friends. "So what's it like for Superman to be a married costumed crimefighter?" asked Batgirl.

"All work and no play," explained Supergirl. "Because Lois is obsessed with her career and Clark has to save lives all the time as Superman, they haven't a huge amount of time for each other. But they make the most of it. Pity they can't have children. I suspect I'll have the same problem someday."

"I don't see how you ladies' can 'Girl talk' at a time like this," said Tim Drake, AKA, the new Robin. "Looks like Ivy's about to rule the world!"

"Maybe it's because she won't rule anything but a padded cell," said Barbara. "Bruce had to go talk the UN out of destroying the world, but now he's coming up with a plan even as we speak. I've known him for years, you, too. He's the greatest battle planner in the world! If there's a way to stop the green witch and Superman wannabe that Quinn has wrapped around her finger, Bruce will find it."

"But what if there is no way?" asked Tim.

"No way?" asked an appalled Supergirl. "Shame on you, young man. There's no such thing. As Clark taught me, there's always a way."

**Bruce's perspective:**

As Bruce flew home, a plan began forming in his mind. It was risky and unconventional, but it did have a just barely realistic chance of success.

_You haven't won yet, Ivy! Yes, your metahuman ally gives you greater power than any of your remaining foes, but my brain is still the equal of yours._

Bruce eventually returned to Wayne Manor. "Welcome Back, Sir," said Alfred.

"Alfred," Bruce acknowledged before walking through the secret passage and down the stairs to the Batcave.

Seeing Tim, Barbara, and Supergirl, Bruce said, "There's one more member of our motley crew to gather up. Batgirl and Robin will take the Batplane twenty miles west of here. Supergirl, as soon as I have donned my Batsuit, you're to help me find The Huntress. We will then rendezvous with the other two."

Everyone nodded.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman had an arm around Supergirl's shoulder so she could lift him up as she flew over Gotham. "My telescopic vision's spotted her," said Supergirl as she descended. Batman and Supergirl landed just outside a mall where The Huntress had defeated three burglars.

"What brings the two of you here?" asked Huntress.

"Would you like a chance to get even with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn?" asked Batman.

"How?" asked The Huntress simply.

"Because this time," said Batman, "I have a plan."

"When and where?" asked Huntress.

"First we meet with Batgirl and Robin," said Batman. "I'll explain the rest there."

"Hi," said Supergirl pleasantly. "I'm..."

"I know who you are ," said The Huntress roughly. "I'll pass on the ride."

Supergirl took Batman to the Batplane, which was parked west of Wayne Manor. Batgirl and Robin were there.

"Huntress didn't show, did she?" asked Batgirl with a smile.

"Don't get your hopes up," said Batman. "She just didn't want to be carried."

"Yeah," said Supergirl. "I can hear her motorcycle. She won't be long. You're right, Batgirl. She is an awful person."

As Batgirl and Supergirl continued to chat, Robin told Batman, "As least they're friends."

"Just as well," said Batman. "We need each other to survive."

Eventually, The Huntress arrived. "Gang's all here."

"All right," said Batman. "With Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Titans out of commission, defeat is not unlikely. And I used up all the mercy Poison Ivy has last week. If anyone wants out, now's the time to say so."

"I'm no coward," said The Huntress.

"I stand for truth and justice," declared Supergirl.

"I said I'd rather die then give in to Ivy," said Batgirl bravely. "I meant it."

"I wouldn't be much of a Robin if I didn't tag along," said Robin.

"All right," said Batman. "Here's what we'll be doing..."

**Poison Ivy's perspective:**

The next day, Bizarro had taken Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn to the countryside just outside New Delhi. "Could ya destroy ten or twelve buildin's, puddin'?" asked Harley.

"Anything for Beezarro's ugly girl," said Bizarro. He flew at the city.

Ivy watched gleefully as Bizarro terrorized the capital of India. This would strike fear into foreign countries as they realized that America couldn't protect them. It would speed up the global surrender. The nuclear attack may not happen after all. But Ivy was prepared for it, just the same.

**Batman's perspective:**

Batman, Batgirl, Robin, and The Huntress were flying towards India in the Batplane. Supergirl was flying beside it. On her communicator keyed to the Batplane's console, Supergirl said, "Something's happening."

"I know," said Batman. "We were too late to stop them from attacking New Delhi."

"Not that," said Supergirl. "Six Indian tanks and thirty jets are going towards where the baddies are having lunch. They'll arrive in less than ten minutes."

A chill went down Batman's spine. "This not good."

"Not good?" asked Supergirl incredulously. "It's horrible! They're throwing away their lives for nothing!"

"Yes," said Batman. "And we can't get there in time."

"I can," said Supergirl.

"That's not the plan," said Batman. "It calls for us to make him angry."

"By your own admission," said Supergirl, "Your plan doesn't have much of a chance for success. That's what you want me to let them die for?"

"Be reasonable," Batgirl tried to reason with The Girl of Steel. "You can't take him on by yourself."

"Superman says my powers have great potential," said Supergirl.

"If you could realize that potential now," argued Batman, "You wouldn't have waited for our call."

"No wonder everyone in Metropolis says you Gothamites are cold-hearted," said Supergirl. "That does it. I'm going ahead."

"Oh, no, you don't," shouted Batman. But Supergirl was speeding ahead to escape velocity. "You come back her right now, young lady!"

"Please," begged Batgirl.

"Getting yourself killed won't save them," said Robin.

"Don't be an idiot," suggested The Huntress.

Static could be heard from the communication signal. Batman pounded the console as he realized that Supergirl had broken her communicator.

"What's done is done," Batman accepted the ugly situation. "If I tweak the Batplane's system just right, I just might be able to get there before Bizarro kills her. It's risky, but it's our only chance."

"Kids," groused The Huntress, much to the displeasure of Batgirl and Robin.

**Supergirl's perspective:**

Supergirl had made it with time to spare. She rammed Bizarro, full speed, knocking him a distance away from the pursuing army of India.

"I don't suppose it would do any good to tell you that Ivy and Quinn are using you, would it?" asked Supergirl.

"Ugly girls Beezarro's love and friend," said Bizarro.

"I tried," said Supergirl. She charged, punching with both fists, only for her arms to be caught by the wrists.

Bizarro delivered a knee to the abdomen. Supergirl felt a fierce pain force her down to her knees. Her arms were twisted. Supergirl could hear her wrists crack as they neared the breaking point.

_Should I have listened to Batman? No, don't think like that. Not with about a hundred people advancing to their deaths._ Supergirl grinded her teeth in determination.

The local and national news networks covering this battle from a safe distance would have different accounts of what happened then. Some said that Supergirl was driven by justice. Others said that all her strength exploded. Then there was the claim that in this brief moment, her potential power was realized, if only for a short while. Whatever the reason, her head pounded into Bizarro's chest knocking him over a mile away.

Stopping only to make sure her hand were alright by taking practice punches, Supergirl charged again. She swung as much, fast, and hard at Bizarro as she could. And she was winning. Bizarro could seem to do nothing to defend himself. Finally, Supergirl delivered a roundhouse punch that left Bizarro moaning in pain on the ground.

Suddenly, Supergirl felt very tired, and fell to her hands and knees. She knew what had happened. She had gone far beyond her current limitations but was now exhausted. No matter - Bizarro was in worse shape. Supergirl could finish him, but that meant crossing a line that that Superman himself had crossed, but only when dealing with other superhumans who were unequivocal threats to the galaxy.

"Promise to give up?" Supergirl asked, knowing Bizarro would not. Not when love was his motive.

"No," Bizarro shouted angrily.

"Then I have no choice," Supergirl wept a tear. She began strangling Bizarro. He gasped for breath as he neared death. Supergirl felt worse and worse about what had to be done.

"Not bad," said a female voice behind Supergirl. She released Bizarro and turned to see Harley and Ivy.

"I know you have Kryptonite," huffed Supergirl. She was still tired. "But I can take him out of range if I want."

"Has it occurred to you that you might be on the wrong side?" asked Ivy. "You just beat a man Superman couldn't. Yet you're thought of as a sidekick when you're not even with him most of the time. Why bust your ass for this earth-killing, misogynistic society?"

"If you have to ask," said Supergirl, "You'll never know. "Now if you'll toss aside the lead box with Kryptonite, I'll take you back to Gotham City. But not before..."

Bizarro, now recovered, sped in front of Supergirl. _Guess my powers are back to normal. Or less since I'm still tired._

"Let me guess," Supergirl kept talking to Ivy. "You saw I was tired but could still finish him, so you bought him time."

"Mind over muscle," taunted Ivy.

"Puddin'," said Harley. "Send 'er to Kryptonian Heaven."

**The Huntress' perspective:**

The Huntress did not know how, but Supergirl had done a number on Bizarro before Poison Ivy had distracted her long enough for Bizarro to recuperate and knock Supergirl out. This was why The Huntress did not take young assistants like Batman did. Teaching at an elementary school taught The Huntress that children were bound to make mistakes not affordable in this line of work.

As Bizarro walked towards the unconscious Supergirl, The Huntress fired the rocket launcher she had been given by Batman at Bizarro. He was knocked tens of meters away. Bizarro stood up with a furious look on his face. _Good._

"I hear you like playing, Bizarro," challenged The Huntress. "So if you want some fun, let's see how many you can take."

"No," shouted Ivy. "Kill her now!"

But Bizarro allowed The Huntress to reload her rocket launcher and fire again. And again. After the tenth and final rocket hit its mark, Bizarro lay unconscious.

The Huntress would have liked to believe that between her rockets and Supergirl's punches, Bizarro was finished, but Huntress knew better. Bizarro stood up, stared at Huntress, and moved close to her at super speed. Bizarro was shaking in rage! _Well, Batman, you told me you wanted him angry. Hope you're happy._

Bizarro's let out a roar so powerful that it knocked The Huntress a distance away. She froze in fear as Bizarro ran towards her.

**Robin's perspective:**

Seeing that Bizarro was already angry, Robin would have called Batman to suggest that he deliver the coup d'grace then, but The Huntress was about to get killed. Robin threw a Batarang at Bizarro. It exploded, knocking Bizarro away. Robin threw some more, but they only stung. Considering the damage Bizarro had taken, they might tip him over the cliff.

Reality bit when Robin threw his last explosive Batarang without Bizarro ever falling down.

"I don't know why you thought you people thought you could stop us, young man," said Ivy softly. "But I'm into killing children, so why don't you..." She was cut off by Bizarro screaming in anguish and covering his ears. It was Batgirl with a sonic cannon.

"I don't think I have to tell you anything," noted Robin. "Bizarro's running the gauntlet."

**Batgirl's perspective:**

Bizarro continued wailing as he fell to the ground, flailing about to take his mind off the pain in his ears and skull.

"Why didn't the world leaders think of this?" asked Batgirl out loud. "Super hearing makes you vulnerable to loud noises."

Twenty seconds passed. Bizarro was in danger of dying, so Batgirl quit firing the sonic blast. "It's over, bitches," she said to Harley and Ivy. "As for you, Bizarro, Give up." But Bizarro clearly had no such intentions.

Batman forbade killing, but the whole world was at stake. Besides, Bizarro was not even a natural life-form.

"Do it," said Robin. "I can take the big guy yelling at us. Plus, even he might be understanding, given the stakes."

Batgirl took aim again. But she could not shoot. Several seconds passed before the sonic cannon became scorching hot. Batgirl frantically took her gloves off and blew on her hands until they stopped hurting. A look at the sonic cannon revealed that it was melted metal.

"Can't make the big decision," said Ivy. "Typical. "Hold it, Bizarro. If they'll tell me where my old friend Batman is, I give them a twenty-two percent chance of survival."

Batgirl thought maybe she should comply. It was Batman's turn, anyway. Just then, a missile hit Bizarro, who got up. Batgirl, Robin, Harley, Ivy, and Bizarro looked up to see the Batplane in the sky.

Looking up, Ivy laughed. "You really thought that would do it? I'm disappointed."

"Bring me his heart, Puddin'," commanded Harley.

"Bizarro bring it," Bizarro said before chasing the Batplane, which was retreating higher and higher into the sky.

"I should've listened to my woman's intuition telling me last week that you people wouldn't really be reasonable," smiled Ivy hungrily as Bizarro gained on the Batplane. "I should've let him kill you all last week."

But Batgirl was also smiling wide. "You don't know how right you are!"

"What are you babbling about, soon-to-be Batroadkill?" asked Ivy.

"Let's just say everything's going according to plan," Robin answered the question.

"Sure is, brat," said Harley**.** "Ivy may frown on killin' kids, but Bizarro's _my _boyfriend."

As Bizarro closed in on the Batplane, gas emitted from the Batplane's rear.

Poison Ivy burst out laughing. "That's... your big... plan?" She was laughing too hard to put a sentence together properly.

"Watch and learn," said Batgirl. She knew Ivy was in for a nasty surprise.

The Batplane began circling around Bizarro. Bizarro was not attacking.

"What's he waitin' for?" asked Harley.

"I think Batman deserves to explain," said Batgirl, knowing that it was over. The Batplane flew towards the advancing Indian military. All the Indian vehicles, turned back, with Bizarro following.

"What the Hell is going on?" asked a suddenly worried Ivy. Minutes later, the Batplane landed. Out came Batman.

"Whatever game my Puddin's playin' with you..." began Harley.

"She's not your Pudding," corrected Batman. "Not anymore."

"If you say so," said Ivy. "For your information, Bizarro's resistant to poison."

"Does that mean antitoxin can't cure him of poison he didn't resist?" asked Batman.

Ivy gasped.

"You've figured it out," said Batman. "After the others made Bizarro angry, I had no trouble provoking him up high. High enough that even he couldn't hear you very well. Then it was time for the antitoxin. He was confused so I explained everything to both him and the authorities. After they confirm that he only did the things he did because the two of you were using a toxic weapon to control him, they'll take him back to his Australian home with a warning to watch who he trusts from now on."

"I'm seein' a pattern in the guys I date," sighed Harley.

"It's high time," said Batman, "That you learned that power isn't the only way to solve a problem. We may not have been able to defeat Bizarro, but we did cure him. Perhaps your causes can be realized with a gentler approach as well."

"Shut the Hell up," said Ivy, furious that Batman had foiled her once again.

"Don't wanna talk?" asked Batgirl cheerily. "Works for me." She stretched her back until it cracked. "You said wanted to kill me the most. Let's see if you can do it without your lap dog. Get back, boys!" Ivy stared at Batgirl for two seconds, then fainted.

"Ivy," shouted Harley. "Ivy!"

"You enjoyed that," said Batman.

"You got that right," said Batgirl, grinning with her hands on her hips.

**Batman's perspective:**

Harley and Ivy had been arrested and were on their way back to Arkham. Batman still had one last order of business to take care of. He went down the stairs of the archcriminals' lair to see Superman and Wonder Woman tied together with the latter's Lasso of Truth. Batman untied them.

"Can you make it back to your homes?" asked Batman, remembering Superman and Wonder Woman's injuries.

"We heal fast," said Superman.

"How did you do it?" asked Wonder Woman.

"When brute force fails," said Batman, "Intelligence prevails."

"If we went bad," joked Wonder Woman, "Looks like you'd come up with a plan to deal with us."

"Who says I haven't already?" asked Batman seriously.

Wonder Woman was uncomfortable, but Superman defended Batman, "As they said in the scouts, always be prepared."

**Barbara Gordon's perspective:**

Batgirl and Supergirl's true identities, Barbara Gordon and Kara Danvers, were watching TV together for a bit before Kara returned to Metropolis. During a commercial break, Kara said, "You sure were right about Bruce."

"He's always got a plan," said Barbara.

"I never doubted the outcome," said Kara. "'There's always a way.' I learned that from Clark. He learned it from his foster parents.'"

"Bruce and Clark have never been more than mutually respected acquaintances," said Barbara.

"Doesn't mean we have to make the same mistake," said Kara.

"No, it doesn't," Barbara agreed.

**Bruce's perspective:**

As she told Bruce where to ambush Bizarro, Bruce felt it only right to thank Christie Whitlock in person. He came up to her door and knocked. Christie opened it.

"Your source was right, as usual," said Bruce. Christie hugged him. But it actually made him sad. Bruce felt that it was a pity their relationship was over.

**These stories aren't quite over. Join me in a week or two as I begin the final fanfic in this series.**


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